Push It Good
What's that?
The Good Lady poked at an opened paper parcel on the table before me.
It's a parcel.
I looked up at her, my face glum as if I had found a piss-covered pen in the bin with two blue lines on it.
I can see it's a parcel, duh. What's in it? Something nice? Something for me?
Her face lit up at the thought of her man festooning her with presents that weren't of the hot fish yoghurt variety.
No, it's not for you. Sadly, it is very much for me.
I nudged the parcel over to her and gestured for her to take a look inside.
Hmm, what's all this?
She opened it some more and peered in at what looked like a blue piece of cloth and some kind of welcome pack.
I sighed heavily like an old seal sitting on a harbour wall.
Remember that night on the balcony of our apartment on holiday? That night we were a bit squiffy on the wine and I read something on Facebook about a pushup challenge?
I closed my eyes and tilted my face to the ceiling.
Oh yes, ha. You were pished that night. You read it and said it would be a piece of piss and that you were the pushup King and could do it no bother. In fact, think you said it would be a "fucking doddle" and that your left testicle could do it in its sleep? Something along those lines.
The Good Lady grinned. She loved telling me how much of a fanny I could be when on the sauce.
Yup, that's the one. A fucking doddle. Oh yes. A fucking breeze.
I shook my head and moaned in self-pity.
So what's the problem then?
The Good Lady pulled the blue thing out of the bag and it unfolded to become a T-shirt emblazoned with charity nonsense.
I think I signed up for it.
I murmured quietly still with my eyes closed.
You said it would be a doddle though. Easy peasy, barely an inconvenience. I mean, remember you did one before, seven pushups a day for months it was. Yeah, don't fret baby, you can do it.
She reached over and patted my arm.
I mean how many do you have to do?
She looked at me expectantly, her man, the King of Pushups.
One hundred a day, every day for the month of November.
I let out a strangled yelp.
Oh. Oh, that's a lot, isn't it? Don't worry, you will smash it. You are the King of Pushups!
She patted my arm a little more vigorously this time.
Slowly I opened my eyes and looked at her and her big believing face.
The thing is Ladypops. Sometimes... and I know this might be hard to believe... but
sometimes I exaggerate a little. One hundred pushups. That won't be easy. It will be hard as fuck. I could weep at the thought.
I let out a little hiccup or it might have been a sob of remorse for being such a dick and signing up for such a thing.
The Good Lady's eyes danced with barely concealed hilarity.
Oh, Daddy-Bear. Exaggerate a little? You? I can hardly believe it. Don't worry. I am sure you will smash it and it will be over with in no time. Just think of how good a shape you will be in by Christmas!
She snorted with amusement took my hand then attempted to look mildly serious.
Can I do anything to help or support you in this challenge oh great Pushup King?
She gave my hand a little squeeze.
I frowned as if deep in thought.
Maybe a BJ would help?
I waved at my nethers hopefully.
HA! I think someone had better start training.
She got up and walked away chuckling about the Pushup King.
I harrumphed loudly.
Damn, it was worth a try. Might as well start practising these fucking pushups then.
Lol 😆🤣. Hilarious moment with you and the Good Lady, you guys are so fun that I find it hard to imagine a silent moment between you too without your face scrunched up like an old man with no energy to argue.
Well, there's reward ye King of push up. Lol.
If there are many silent moments of doom!! Usually when I take things too far!! 😀
Haha... silent of doom it is!
It's the best doom! 🤣🤣
Haha, I have to just nod in agreement cos the Good Lady is very good.
Mostly 😜
Hehe🤣🤣🤣
I've seen the ads for that challenge. I know how hard pushups are. I have tried doing some each day and my arms turn to jelly after a few. I wonder if doing that many would improve on that, but I'd have to spread them out to recover.
Isn't there some law about promises made 'under the influence' not being binding?
There should be that law!! I feel morally obligated to do it. Sob.
I can do fifteen in a go do we have to do multiple sessions but I will be knackered. Beer regret!!
I'll say y'all got me wondering just how hard are push-ups nowadays.. back when I was in the Army 100 push-ups was a 3 minute task..
I expect I could do a lot more when I was younger. This old body can struggle a bit.
Yeah I'm 53.. 18 was long long ago and far far away
I'm even older! Mind you I still manage to outrun some younger folk at parkrun.
I'll work on the pushups.
Hello my dear gentleman, it never hurts to be in shape, it is well-being and health, I invite you to cheer up and restart doing push-ups that are very strong, especially in the abdomen, so that you continue enriching your spirit and good vibes in these spaces where you make community in Hive, at least I value it very much.
I usually do 40 minutes of physical exercises daily, for my body and natural body alignment. I recommend you to do Pilates is wonderful. Without a doubt, you have to have motivation and discipline. And by the end of the year, during the holiday season, we can eat everything we want, especially sweets hahaha.
We will see on the motivation front! I hope I will have it but it's a long time to be grinding them out day after day, lol!
Start, one day and I assure you that you will continue forward as everything you undertake 💪the power is in you my dear gentleman.
I thank you for the confidence and morale boosting!!
It is a pleasure for me to share the vital force to move forward.
Tis a very good thing!
I wish you have the best week ahead.
And the very same to you too!
Thank You so much 💜
Bust fart, collapse in a heap after a month, OK wait to hear result on this one, need the Good Lady to report back regularly 🙃
!BEER one to get you motivated.....
I don't even know if I will manage a week but I shall honestly report!! 😀😀
Photos?
I might throw in the odd photo it vid!!!
View or trade
BEER.Hey @meesterboom, here is a little bit of
BEERfrom @joanstewart for you. Enjoy it!Learn how to earn FREE BEER each day by staking your
BEER.Easy peasy lemon squeezy, a hundred push ups daily. You're going to have six packs by Christmas or maybe broken arms. Hehe
I will go more for the broken arms and broken body, lol! 🤣🤣
hahahaha man that just made my Sunday hahaha good luck! I will stick with the podcasting daily lol much easier!
I might take up podcasting and see if I can do that instead!! Lol
Push-ups on Podcast..
Starring: The Push-up King himself..
Wait till you see me blaze about 8 or say a time 🤣🤣
Easy there grandpa...
lol less stressful!
Easier on the wrists!!
lol that is very true!
Had me rolling again, especially at the BJ.
I don't think I've seen much of these push ups for charity. Do you need to take a video of yourself doing it? What happens if you don't do it? You can maybe do the easier version of push ups where your knees are touching the ground instead of the toes.
But for the Pushup King, 100 in one go is nothing. Heck I bet you can even do 100 with single arm pushups haha.
You can do videos and all that if you like, I think it's a trust thing as you have to get sponsors and stuff. I feel morally bound but also doomed!!
I see. You got this. There are many pushup variations. You can do wall pushups, incline/table pushups, or other easier variants. And it is for a good cause. Good luck
Aye, I am sure I will manage. I will break them down into sets and do 5 or 6 a day with the odd random ones thrown in. I might even grow to like it!
That'll learn you bout letting the whiskey write a check your ass has to cash..
Let's see some video there... Mr Push-up King..
It will take me back to that one we did!! 7 might be my limit 🤣🤣
15 set of 7 it is..
Fucking hell, it's like going to hell!
100 !!
Things certainly look different when you're snookered ... huh?
I'm thinking 20, 5 times a day or 25, 4 times a day. Certainly not 100 at a time.
I'm sure you'll think of some creative way to make (or say) you did it.
Charities... hmmmmmffff ! :)
Oh man, I know. 100 is mental!
I can't even do 20 in one go. I can do between ten and fifteen in one go which means I world need to do about six or seven sets a day. I can only hope I get better and it gets easier.
If it wasn't for charity I world just bin it!!
Can you do them standing up and pushing yourself back and forth from the wall? Do you have to take videos of you doing it? Take them sideways. LOL Then you can do some one handed with the other arm behind your back.
I'm trying to help here man !
Wahahaha, now that is a good idea!! 🤣🤣
Or maybeeee.... you can say you misunderstood and thought they meant you should do 100% a day of the most that you can do.... and 20 was your 100% !
I think I'm getting good at this. LOL
You are a natural. You can be my manager!! 😀😀
Looking forward to hearing how this goes! The last time I did 100 push-ups at once I was around 19 years old. Can you spread them out across 24hrs?
Yeah, you can spread them out. Otherwise I would be goosed before starting. I can't do that many in one go, kick to do fifteen in a good day!!
I am sure it will be "an experience!" 🤣🤣
Oh good! You've definitely got this then. You'll be like this guy by the end of November...
Push-ups are really all you need to do to stay fit.
I always enjoy you and the good lady's banter. It's obvious she's used to all your shit with exaggeration. Looking forward to the next thirty days. Break a leg. No pun intended.😆
She is well used to it. Haha, I will try my best to keep the breakages to a minimum!!
You know what sucks about pushups?
Gravity.
Tis true but they wouldn't let me on the secret moon mission!
Push-ups can be very crazy
I used to do it but not anymore.
I now feel like I dont have the strength for it, lol
I used to do loads, probably why I was so confident. Not confident now!!
Oh you poor, poor man....we'll hold services for you should you not make it through. Of course no bj for you, you're in training! Probably won't get one the whole of November lol. Don't blame the coach either. She didn't sign you up for this.
I can only blame myself!!
I am a dashed fool but somehow I will strive to make it to the end with some of my life intact!!! 🤣🤣
lol you will! You will be the better for it! The Good Lady will relent in short order, as soon as she sees how strong you are becoming :D
There is a small part of me that is thinking it will be quite good to get in shape before Christmas. But the beer loving part of me is like nooooooooooo!! 🤣
I shed an actual tear at that. Maybe do five extra pushups and reward yourself with a beer.
Maybe I will be drinking loads extra to make up for the pain :OD
Great story, what an amazing read for the afternoon lol. "HA! I think someone had better start training" 😂 this had me laughing so hard. That reminds me, I have to do my pushups for today.
You gotta keep in that practice!! 😀
They don't all have to be done at once, do they? 10 sets of 10, like an hourly break from the drudgery of work and parenting?
Nah, they don't have to be done at once. I wouldn't be able to do it!!
I have a plan, I will do the sets of ten a few times then one more ten, that way I ain't doing it the whole day long!
100 pushups for a blowjob? Seriously? Fooking hell. Well if that doesn't motivate you to do them, then I don't know how you're going to do this pushup thing.
Good luck though 😁
Lol. That's a price I would be willing to pay 🤣🤣
https://twitter.com/jewellery_all/status/1718738270081712616
You did the best you could, man. The good lady lost, haha.
100 pushups a day should definitely be challenging, good luck!
I am hoping that the month of November is a quick one! :OD
100 a day for a 100 days - wow, that is quite the challenge. I don't think that I would last very long. Good luck!
Too bad about the no BJ. Maybe next time
I have my fingers crossed for next time, lol.
It will be a pain in the chuffer. I keep thinking about it and huffing sadly
"No pain, no gain" - as they say
Exactly. I shall take out my annoyance on those around me and they can feel the pain! :OD
Haha good strategy 😂
I want to see the graphic proof of that challenge!!!!! 😁
It shall be visible in my mighty guns and toned physique... lol!! :O)
That's fine, with that you pass the test. We will ask the good lady too!!!😁 👍 Greetings from Havana!!!
Hola from wet Scotland!
Yes, the test will be passed by hook or by crook! :OD
💪💪💪💯💥🥂
Ooooo thats a lot! Cant you exchange the push ups for something else? Perhaps 1 Wank = 50 Push-ups? or 2 beer ring pulls = 5 Push-ups? You're still expending energy and in the process, stopping some Arctic Snow Leopards being turned into fluffy slippers or raising funds for Peter Murrell's legal team so you get the sense of having done a great service without the indignation of your children having to help their poor old sweaty, red-faced daddy off the floor each day for a whole month.
Win-win. My work here is done once more :-)
Hahaha, trading them off against other activities would be a fine thing. If only that pesy work wouldn't get in the way of my extra curricular activities there could be many beer swaps!
I dont think my kids would even make the effort to lift their feet up properly as they sstep over my sweaty collapsed body :OD
My Dad had a Friend, Barry H. he was a lecturer at a University , Barry was probably about 50 years old at the time. There was a Pushup Competition taking place , Barry asked if he could have a go?. I recall at well over 200 they asked him to stop, and the interest in the competition just fizzled out after that!
Lol, that's insane. I can only do twenty max and that's on a very good day!!
I could do one handed push ups and Pull ups, either arm, boxed for the army, did Martial arts and unarmed Combat training ( instructor) Then going too fast on an unfamiliar road ( breaking my own rules) with my Wife on the back , of a motorcycle ,changed all that!
That's grim! I used to do a fair amount of martial arts so my fear of pushups isn't so much. Could never to a one hander though!
Hahahahahahaaha The laughs while reading this 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
A wife like Good lady is all a man need look how supportive she is. Ah, she knows Pushup king can do those 100 pushup in one set and Christmas is almost there.. so hah, you got this.
She gave my hand a little squeeze.
I frowned as if deep in thought.
Maybe a BJ would help?
Lmaaaaaaao, this is so hilarious !LOL 😆😆😆😆😆😆
I'm too young and can tell doing push-ups ain't easy.. but yea being consistent with it trying to increase the strength of these arms.
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Hi, 😂 Pushup King, how's it going?
Lol. Fine right now but on the 1st of November perhaps not so good!! 🤣🤣
Well I think you should have done some warm up before the challenge starts.
I have done ten yesterday and ten today :OD
👏 I think we have a winner hahaha... I dare to anticipate, 20 is already a good warm-up start.
It is indeed!! 😀😀
https://twitter.com/LovingGirlHive/status/1719043026419651008
Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha, I imagine the good lady causing you to do the exercise, you will be in shape by Christmas hahahaha, she is only giving you one month to be in shape, you will have to do more than 100 a day :)
I might be like the incredible hulk by Christmas, lol!
Exactly the same thing happened to us on the first day when we started the gym, we were not able to exercise at all and all the people there were making fun of us, especially the girls were laughing. But then three months later we were perfect and then people were amazed.
That will teach them to laugh! That is what will happen to me hopefully! :OD
Yeah.
Pffft women never seem to appreciate the motivation received from a little BJ now and again. 🙂
It's bizarre isnt it, lol! :OD
Just do a hundred pushpops a day instead.
Crikey, you have cracked it. That's a fabulous idea! :OD
https://twitter.com/JunaidFazal1111/status/1719263169204699389
At least it's push-ups instead of Sit-ups. :)
That's as optimistic I can be on this one. You are in for a world of hurt ... at least at the beginning.
You know you are right there because sit-ups hurt and you can do too many and not be able to do some the next day!!
If you need a cheat day you can outsource some pushups to me. I will do them for 1 Hive a pop.
Haha, that is a very kind and altruistic offer!
But I have it in hand. I had them done by 2PM today! :OD
It must be nice, living in the future like that. It's not even noon yet for regular plebs like me.
That's alright, one day you can live in the future just like me only it will be the past. But you will still enjoy it for a moment
Jajajaja, me gustó la parte cuando dices ! no es para ti el paquete! pobre señora jajajaja 🤣😂
¡Hay que decírselo a las damas! 🤣🤣
Jajajaja 🤣.
One hundred push-ups?!?!?
But it's impossible!!! I'm maxing out at 5 lol!!!
Hello my friend, how are you?
Hola dude!! I am good. A little sore from these damn pushups right enough!!
Congrats on Samuel!
How are they going? It definitely won't hurt around Christmas, you can always say that those sweets are for bulking up!
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LAst week was impossibly painful after the second day but this week the pain is levelling out and its going not bad actually. More of a chore than a trial! :OD