RE: Are you afraid of death?
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MA is a good one - he closely aligns with Buddhism, which is the closest belief system I have if I was to name one.
The fact that 'all men must die' should be a truth that unites us - we all lose family, friends, and eventually we too are wormfood. It often doesn't because we forget, or choose to ignore, death.
Death makes everything far more precious, and I think all the more so if you don't believe there's anything after.
My beautiful father had such a zest for life - he really enjoyed it. That seems strange to say, as strictly speaking we all 'enjoy' life, don't we? Certainly we don't want to die. But Dad really dug life. He may not have lived a grand, big adventure, but his life was good. He had things to do, to enjoy, to cherish. Faced with his own death, he knew that philosophically 'all men must die', and that life's truth is impermanence, and that he would just become transmuted, one with all that is, but he was pretty gutted he was going to die. The only reason he wanted to in the end was because he was sick of the fucking pain.
My hope is that in the moment that I die, I will be happy. I will be able to look back at my life and know I did right by it. I lived it fully, and I lived it being good.
And he did, after much thinking and conversations with his family. He was happy enough, apart from the fact he was dying in a way he shouldn't have. But he did right, and he was good. In that way, it was a good death - and something I can aspire to.
You know, sometimes I wish I could reblog comments. This is one of those. It captures so beautifully what I wanted to express, in different words, but just that. But all there is for now is @topcomment 😅
Without knowing your father, I want to be like him. As a concept if life. As a concept of happiness. Pretty sure we'd have our beefs (vegan pun intended), but from I read about him, he was someone to look up to, even in face of death. And no doubt, I will cringe and sliver when it comes to it, too. Because as of now, I have SO much to live for. And I doubt that will change.
Maybe I'll get lucky and get that fatal heart attack during the most impressive orgasm of my life.
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