Are you afraid of death?
The fugacity of life is unquestionable. Unchangeable. We will die, physically. Everything beyond that depends of each person's spiritual agenda and believes, in which I won't meddle too much.
The good thing of the fact of death is that, once one arrives to the realization and acceptance that it's unavoidable, it leaves a lot of room to focus on life. Which is what my current favorite monologue writer, Marcus Aurelius, seems to be fighting with a lot. In book 4, every other chapter is about death in some way. That's a lot more than in chapter 2 and 3 (chapter 1 being only about how he became the person he was).
Death is such as generation is, a mystery of nature; composition out of the same elements, and a decomposition into the same; and altogether not a thing of which any man should be ashamed, for it is not contrary to [the nature of] a reasonable animal, and not contrary to the reason of our constitution.
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 4, Chapter 5
For some reason, I'm not afraid of death. Nor am I happy about it. Nor do I long for it. I somehow got the the state of mind that it's a fact. I don't believe much in afterlife, either. I think that's one of the reasons why religions don't have much appeal to me.
I believe in values.
Early on I came to the conclusion that while religion (protestant/lutherian) played a big part to form my values, I don't need the religion to uphold them. I focus on doing good as much as I can, by my idea of "good", and working on improving.
(I think I wrote about that once. But it's over a year on the chain now, and the search mechanism on the blog is still weird to me, so I'll not look up the post nor repeat the whole sermon.)
Do not act as if thou wert going to live ten thousand years. Death hangs over thee. While thou livest, while it is in thy power, be good.
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 4, Chapter 17
I'm not doing good for a god or for an afterlife nor anyone but myself. Being coherent is the key to happiness, as it takes away that nagging voice in the sub-consciousness knowing the one is doing wrong. My hope is that in the moment that I die, I will be happy. I will be able to look back at my life and know I did right by it. I lived it fully, and I lived it being good.
That way, even if there is a life after death, I can stand in front of every god, any judge, any karma scale and genuinely state that I did the best I could to be good in a world without rules. Because there are none.
Yes, there is the Tao as C.S. Lewis puts it, the common laws that almost all religions have, basically natural laws. And I do abide by them as much as I can, as they are mostly in line with my values.
He who has a vehement desire for posthumous fame does not consider that every one of those who remember him will himself also die very soon; then again also they who have succeeded them, until the whole remembrance shall have been extinguished as it is transmitted through men who foolishly admire and perish. But suppose that those who will remember are even immortal, and that the remembrance will be immortal, what then is this to thee? [...]
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 4, Chapter 19
(Honestly, I love the irony in MA ongoing rejection of seeking fame before and after death, while being read and discussed by many people even 2000 years after perishing. Not to talk about his fame in life...)
But he's right about that. And again, it's something that I have to remind myself of constantly. I have to be good for myself, not for the appearance towards others. That defeats the purpose, at least for me. One of the perks of being "good" aka coherent with one's values is being oneself in public. There is no need to hide if you're truly convinced that you're acts are righteous. That doesn't mean that you're always right, that's where fanaticism and spiritualism part.
And that's the fine line to walk on. Being self-secure and at the same time open for criticism and questioning oneself. But I believe that to be the path for a good life, and with that for a good death - and whatever may come after. Or not.
What are your thoughts about this topic? Please feel free to engage in any original way, including dropping links to your posts on similar topics. I'm happy to read (and curate) any quality content that is not created by LLM/AI, as well as read your own experience and point of view, I love to learn!
Pictures taken with a Motorola Edge 60 Pro, I reserve the copyright - but feel free to ask if you want to use one of the pictures!
I do not fear death and at times, I welcome it. I often feel I am in a world that I don't want to be a part of, but some parts of it still seem to want to need me for some time still, whether that is true or not.
I haven't read much MA other than a few quotes here and there in regards to stoicism, but perhaps the posthumous fame he has is not ironic, but rather evidence of what he was getting at. Live a full life, do what must be done, and the rest is out of his control. It flows where it goes, and he no longer influences or is influenced by the ripples.
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MA certainly never meant to be ironic. He was a man trying to be good while confronted with evil all around. Which is part of the irony. Which then leads to the irony of that more of his legacy, more study of his and the other great minds would lead to a better world. They all follow the Tao in some way.
One of the main perks is that in order to enjoy living, to be alive, one does not rely on the rest of the world anymore. Accepting our responsibilities, what is within our power, also leads to rejecting what is not, liberating us of it. Within the fine line, as always. Real awareness is not an excuse for egoism, but the strength to set limits when necessary, and hopefully come back to that same point later, review, and grow.
I despise how "New Ageism" perverted useful words into hulls. Awareness, mindfulness, all that fake yoga crap. There's a lot of precision in those words, but they've been abused so much that I don't like to use them to not be put into "that category". Yeah. Still gotta work on that.
I call it "mindlessmess" these days. They have ruined it - but think they are on point
Mindlessmess. That's perfect. Love it, thank you!
Edit - just saw that you left a tip! I'm honored! Thank you!
Un tema bien polémico y controversial este que nos compartes. Concuerdo contigo cuando dices que la fugacidad de la vida es algo incuestionable. La vida es tan frágil que en un instante la podemos perder, en un instante puede cambiar, ya sea para bien o para mal. La muerte es una visitante inoportuna pero inevitable que llega, a veces, cuando menos se espera. Yo he sentido deseos de morir más de una vez en mi vida, y a la vez, cuando he sentido el riego muy cerca, claro que he sentido miedo. Uno se pone a pensar en todas las cosas que quisiera hacer y entonces desea tener todo el tiempo para ello.
A veces, también se siente miedo ante la muerte de seres queridos, es en ese momento que nos ponemos a pensar que el tiempo apremia y no se puede perder. Hay que amar, hacer, vivir lo más pleno y feliz posible, para que, si la muerte nos sorprende dejmos la menor cantidad de sueños pendientes y sin cumplir. Muchas gracias por compartir tus reflexiones y puntos de vista, y también los de Marcus Aurelius.
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Muchas gracias.
Para mi el mayor miedo no es mi propia muerte, sino el efecto que tiene en mis eres queridos. Sé que el camino es suyo, y que es inevitable tanto para ellos y ellas como lo es para mí, pero aún así me gustaría poder manternerles libre de eso lo más que se puede. Es tonto, lo sé, no hay cómo protegerles. Pero en sí, es el único miedo que tengo a mi propia muerte - que pueda lastimar a otros.
MA is a good one - he closely aligns with Buddhism, which is the closest belief system I have if I was to name one.
The fact that 'all men must die' should be a truth that unites us - we all lose family, friends, and eventually we too are wormfood. It often doesn't because we forget, or choose to ignore, death.
Death makes everything far more precious, and I think all the more so if you don't believe there's anything after.
My beautiful father had such a zest for life - he really enjoyed it. That seems strange to say, as strictly speaking we all 'enjoy' life, don't we? Certainly we don't want to die. But Dad really dug life. He may not have lived a grand, big adventure, but his life was good. He had things to do, to enjoy, to cherish. Faced with his own death, he knew that philosophically 'all men must die', and that life's truth is impermanence, and that he would just become transmuted, one with all that is, but he was pretty gutted he was going to die. The only reason he wanted to in the end was because he was sick of the fucking pain.
And he did, after much thinking and conversations with his family. He was happy enough, apart from the fact he was dying in a way he shouldn't have. But he did right, and he was good. In that way, it was a good death - and something I can aspire to.
You know, sometimes I wish I could reblog comments. This is one of those. It captures so beautifully what I wanted to express, in different words, but just that. But all there is for now is @topcomment 😅
Without knowing your father, I want to be like him. As a concept if life. As a concept of happiness. Pretty sure we'd have our beefs (vegan pun intended), but from I read about him, he was someone to look up to, even in face of death. And no doubt, I will cringe and sliver when it comes to it, too. Because as of now, I have SO much to live for. And I doubt that will change.
Maybe I'll get lucky and get that fatal heart attack during the most impressive orgasm of my life.
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All of the Stoics are worth reading. Seneca is another great one to read if you haven't already.
Death will come whether we fear it or not, whether we think about it or not, whether we run from it or not, so I figure it's not much use doing any of those things. When it comes, it comes, and I will finally get to peek behind the curtains and see what's there (if anything — and if so, if I in whatever future form I end up as am able to remember it).
Of all the wonders that I yet have heard,
It seems to me most strange that men should fear,
Seeing that death, a necessary end,
Will come when it will come.
—Caesar, Act 2, scene 2
But in the Zen tradition, I don't think about it too much. Death is in the future; better to keep my mind on the present and not be distracted from reality by fantasies about what death may or may not hold.
I've been exposed to Stoicism mainly through a close friend of mine who studied it was well as many other religions. He has found his path in Buddhism with a great influence of Stoicism, or so it seems to me who has studied neither as fondly has he did and does. We're basically reading MA together, and his insights and background knowledge helps so much to understand the chapters more clearly. Which leads me to the conclusions that not only you're right stating that the other Stoics are worth reading, but on top it's necessary to read them all in order to understand. Or to be as lucky as I am and having a friend who already did that, and can explain all the little big meanings of words that have shifted over time.
That is indeed funny. Reminds me of:
"Free from desire, you realize the mystery. Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations."
— Tao Te Ching
I also like the photo you chose for this... The indigenous abuelita is holding a phone - she is overcoming her age and isolation. But the picture on the phone is corn. The symbol of basic necessity, richness of land and what remains important for eons, while technology changes before our eyes.
Also murals, in general, are also exercise in stoicism - exposed to the elements and time, its a work of love, while also a fleeting work... yet it makes the corner infinitely better while it lasts.
I took the picture because of all the contrast it provided. The real mountain with the painted one, the rural areas on the slope displayed. And yes, I chose it as I thought of it as a circle of life. I'm using my high-tech-phone sometimes to get a quick answer on what a certain state of a plan means, what I should do. The abuelas would know, certainly. And I probably should go through the process of contacting one that I know, and have her give an ancestral opinion. Yet I don't. Although I know that they hold the real answers. One step a at a time, I don't have the patience yet.
your phone photos are incredible... keep pushing this tech to its limits.
Thank you! There's still room to improve. I feel like I still take too many snaps. I don't flavor the moment just enough yet before I touch the screen. It feels like I'm still taking too much advantage of technology, just hitting "Snap" and the see if a picture fits. But it's way less than before. For this motive, I "only" took 6 pictures, and three of them would've been eligible. I'm learning, I think.
I'm going to put that on when I'm going to bed. The first minute sounds really promising. And since it's long, I'll probably fall asleep and resume listening in the morning :-D
perfect.
Life and death for me are not simply variations in the transformation of physical matter. There is a certain mystery here. It is important for me to solve this mystery while still in this life (in the physical body). Because my further path (after the death of the body) is infinitely long.
I knew you couldn't stay away from this post! 😅
Did you write any more posts about this topic? I don't remember to have seen them.
Today I had a conversation with Grok about the death or immortality of consciousness (after reading your post). This applies to humans and to hypothetical, more advanced civilizations (who have transferred their consciousness from protein bodies to other media). It's a shame I can't translate the entire conversation; my post only includes a few screenshots in Russian. But I asked him to write a science fiction story on the topic of our conversation and posted it on Hive.
Read that! Quite interesting. Not my answer to the world, but still intriguing. And I just found a lot of new tokens in my wallet for some reason, never saw those before. Thank you for that!
I'm not afraid of death either. It's coming whether I like it or not. Worrying about it doesn't change anything. Might as well focus on the living part. I think the thing that bothers me most about death is not being with my fmaily.
I was raised religious. Still have faith. But I've come to realize my values would exist with or without the church. The foundation was built there but the house stands on its own now. I try to do right because it's right. Not for a reward. Not to avoid punishment. Just because that's who I want to be when I look in the mirror.
I struggle with the looking back part though. Not at death itself but at the stupid shit I've done along the way. The mistakes. The times I wasn't the man I should have been. Working on letting that go and focusing forward instead. What did I learn. What can I do better. That's what matters now. In fact, doing a post on that now.
The fame thing is interesting. Nobody's going to remember most of us a hundred years from now. That used to bother me. Doesn't anymore. I'm not trying to be remembered by the world. Just trying to be remembered well by the people who actually knew me. That's enough.
Thank you for that long and thoughtful comment!
I totally get that part about death and family. It's what I most dislike, the pain that it will cause them. But that suffering is inevitable, and I hope I can live my life in a way that they, too, will see it as fulfilled, no matter when my time comes.
Nothing to add the the religion part, I agree.
About the past - I've become very thankful for those lessons. Even now, that I'm struggling a lot with the results of getting into bed with what turns out to be a very challenging and challenged person, I always remember that her poison and her constant attacks made me the man I am to a great degree, and somewhat immune to her intents to get under my skin using my daughter against me. And yet, I'm grateful for it. I choose to learn, to remember all my mistakes for that.
If you're struggling with something like that, I hope that you will find your own way of making it a part of you that doesn't cause you resistance, but supports you. It's a progress. That, too, is something that MA repeats all the time. It's more important to do small, but constant steps, instead of trying to do the big jump at once.
Edit: just saw that you left a tip for the post - thank you so much! That feels really good 😊
Everything I do these days is small steps. And one step at a time.