Signals

12 months ago

Hey, Boom. How you been?

One of my colleagues, Londo, sidled up to my desk and greeted me out of the side of his mouth as if we were Gnagsters from the roaring twenties talking about some crazy cat down the speakeasy.

Not much, Londo. Not much, you?

I had given him the nickname of Londo which he absolutely loved as he thought it meant Lando from the Empire Strikes Back.

Unfortunately for him, I wasn't saying Lando. I was saying Londo as in short for Laundromat as he was perpetually grimacing as if someone had roughly dumped their load in him.

Aye, got my fingers in a few pies... You know what I mean?

He winked or twitched, sometimes with Londo it was hard to tell what was going on with his face.

Aye, pies, fingers. I get you.

I didn't get him at all so I turned my gaze and continued wrestling with the SQL query on the screen before me. I was writing the mother of all queries that I was quite convinced would become sentient should I add just one more line to it.

Still into all that crypto shit aren't you?

Londo smirked and I vaguely remembered him boasting about MASSIVE GAINZ in the pub one night.

I sighed in the tired way I do whenever anyone at work mentions Crypto or playing keyboards.

I dabble somewhat, yes.

I tried not to look up like a dog under a Mormon lady's skirt.
^{^{Is there a term for Mormon ladies? Mormaidens? Mormaids? Mormaids is good. Has a whiff of the sea about it}}
You know the Bitcoin halving is coming up in a couple of months? It's going to get wild so I joined this really cool signals group...

He tailed off expectantly and reluctantly I turned my gaze away from my screen to look up at his gaping-pored face of excitement.

A signals group.

I stated flatly whilst frowning disapprovingly like an Ocelot perusing the Casual Hats range in Walmart.

Yeah yeah, I know what you are going to say but it's not like that. This one is really cool. I have picked up a couple of 4Xs already. Think some of them might go 10X. Rack them up with some exclusive Airdrops and I stand to make a fucking mint come the Bull run.

He beamed then as if someone from Pfeizer was tickling his ronson with an Ostrich feather.

Oh god, please tell me you haven't given them any money.

I rubbed my temples with my middle finger and thumb as if trying to find the holes on a bowling ball.

I knew you were going to say that! No, I am not stupid you know. It's legit. I can send you the link if you like? Disclaimer, I get a referral bonus on all your trades.

Londo eyes gleamed like a bald man seeing an advert for Romanian hair restoral surgery on Instagram. His gaze took on the faraway look of someone imagining the untold riches funnelling through from referral fees.

You get a referral fee for all of my trades? Like how is that meant to work? Do I just tell you how many I have made?

I snorted with derision, I could see the shape of how this was going to go.

Duh, I thought you were Mr Crypto. It's automatic, after you join their exchange a percentage of your trades comes my way. It's all on chain. So yeah, are you in?

Ahhhh, they use a special exchange do they? You want me to join it and deposit all my fucking coins in it. That sounds amazing. I am ALL IN.

I gave him the finger and went back to my work.

Some moments later I looked up to see Londo still loitering by my desk.

Um, so you want me to send you the link to the telegram group?

He looked a bit nervous as if someone had told him to stick some money on a random crypto exchange he had never heard of before and now he couldn't get it out.

Beat it.

I waved my finger in an away direction and watched him toddle off dejectedly.

Oh well, if he feels sad now just wait till he tries to withdraw some of his MASSIVE GAINZ from whatever shonky crypto hell he had put them on.

Looks like scamming season is upon us!

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159 comments

@janitzearratia 70

12 months ago

hahahaha a Ronson, I used to have one when I smoked that by the way I quit that vice more than 40 years ago, really someone is always at work taking you out of your productive bubble, figuring out how else to get signs that indicate a way out to get London, London looks like not investing even in it.

Beware of scammers there are even behind your body.

Happy birthday, Mr. Boom.

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