RE: Unheard& Misrepresented - "Nobody listens to us"

(Edited)

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Well written, reminds me of many things, The idea of home school is good but from another perspective kids need a social environment to be around other kids.

I was born into a family of educators. In my time, everything was dark—it was the late '90s. School felt grey, teachers were angry, and they would beat or slap us. We had a teacher who would grab the hair beside students' ears and lift them up to his face—and he was quite tall. I was one of his victims too. Sometimes, I hid under the chair so he couldn’t find me because I hadn’t done my homework.

an old photo from a school in 90's
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My father was sometimes angry too, and he was the administrator of our school.

This will turn into a long post if I write everything, so I’ll try to keep it short.

Later, when I moved to the next school, which was for kids between 11 and 13 years old, it was a complete mess. Even our break time between classes felt like a war. I was shocked when I first heard kids saying, "Okay, now it’s war time!" and suddenly, they all started attacking each other with anything they could find. There was nowhere to hide—it felt like being on a battlefield.

Classes weren’t any better. Our math teacher would whip our hands for bad grades or put a pen between our fingers, squeeze our hands, and apply pressure—a kind of torture. That’s why I hated school and studying. I had no interest in learning from those books.
I have found a photo which can show such situation from 90's

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Moving forward—after a long time of working as a freelance musician and doing online or local projects in my recording studio, a relative suddenly asked me to become a school disciplinarian. At first, I said no, but since I had already closed my recording studio and had no work, I decided to accept it for a short time.

A new school at 2024 (Kids at the Yard) standing in rows waiting there for admin to do his morning talk:

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There, I realized how hard it is to be a school disciplinarian. The students were 16 to 18 years old, and I had to control 150 of them—a new generation that wouldn’t listen to anyone. I tried many ways to get them to go to their classes. Since I had spent two years in the military (Compulsory military service), I started using that approach—like a military sergeant, shouting:

"Everyone! Go to class! I don’t want to see anyone standing in the corridors!"

I had to become an angry person because if I spoke to them softly, they would never listen. (Back in our time, school disciplinarians would even beat us—I was just using my voice and attitude.)

However, there were two students who refused to listen and were looking for a way to challenge me.

Well, I lasted 15 days before quitting the job. On my last day, I went into a classroom, sat among the students, and told them my story—that I was once like them. I was a kid who used to pour oil on desks and, along with my classmates, even planned to burn down classrooms. I shared this to let them know that I didn’t hate them.

I explained that I was given this responsibility because if any of them ran away from school and had an accident, their death would be considered a crime, and I would be the one held accountable—possibly even sent to jail for it.

I told them, "You need to learn to be your own school disciplinarian."

I saw that it’s not easy. I understand your perspective, and I agree—if there were time to talk with each of those kids individually, maybe some of the problems could be solved. However, with older kids, it’s much harder because they’ve grown up that way—it took them 18 years to become uncontrollable.

Well. That was my experience, it was nice reading about your experience, you are doing a good job for the kids.



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Thanks for sharing your story! What a journey. I don't think it's easy on the teachers and administrators, certainly. I don't really think it's their fault, but rather an issue within the broader education system. I have lots of friends who are teachers/educators and see through them how difficult it can be navigating aggressive teenagers or defensive parents, even. So definitely not a job to be taken lightly.

While I agree about the socializing aspect, I think that's a common misconception of home education. People imagine it as sitting inside the house all day long, which isn't necessarily the case. There's communities built around home education and most parents practicing it that I know take their children to activities, traveling, etc, places where they're able to meet and interact with loads of kids of all ages. That's actually one of my favorite aspects of this style, that it doesn't segregate based on age but rather allows kids to interact with different ages, form hierarchies and relationships with kids at different points in the journey from themselves, which is valuable as they're bound to need that later in life.

Coming back to your story, I think your advice to the kids to become their own disciplinarian was very wise. :)

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Thank you @honeydue 🙂 Things have changed in my place and schools are different now, but the problems still persist. Just like the issue you mentioned in this post, Kids are being unheard.

I completely agree. Homeschooling also has lots of benefits and the way you manage their social and leisure time is truly admirable. also, you have the advantage of closely monitoring your children's growth, what they’re learning, and who they’re interacting with. In public schools, kids are often influenced by their peers, sometimes in negative ways, and bad habits like drug use or other harmful behaviors can spread quickly.

As for public schools, They really need someone like you, someone who takes the time to guide and communicate with children, understand their challenges, and help improve their lives. This kind of support is especially crucial at a young age, long before they reach high school or university.

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