Like I have said in many posts. Religion tends not to fit right around me. But there are so many times through life the feeling of guidance and someone unseen is looking out for the better.

From the choices I made in life I got myself in to some really bad positions. (Considered so by others). I do not really understand the word fear personally. I know what the word means. But I don't think I felt fear.

I have walked through areas I am told I should not go to, being a white guy.

The first encounter I had with trouble of any seriousness. (I don't count the stealing sweets from the supermarket as serious). But at around the age 14. I got mugged a few slaps and my stereo taken. Then someone's house went on fire. I had no trouble after that. But it did get the attention of others. Choice or just going where life took me I can't say. But we will put it down as a bad choice.

By the time I was 18 things changed and it was better for me to go away for a while. That might have happened anyway. But I went to Manchester England. Not much different to Dublin.

Cheetham Hill, Nell Lane estate, Moss Side, Longsight and Gorton were the places I stayed. Not places for a little white paddy to be walking around alone in any of them. Or from one place to another passing through places like Collyhurst and Salford.

The people I lived with their. Family from Jamaica feared for me walking around. 2 sisters and a brother. Worrying about me. This I only found out years later.

I never worked in Manchester. Bought and lost a house there though. That sent me on my way to London. There I ran the Red Lion on Harlington High Street for 6 months before I could not take any more alcohol. I took a night shift in Gateway supermarket filling meat freezers. This in turn turned to Night supervisor for the store. Which led to Quicksave market offering me higher money for day shift. I should have stayed doing the nights.

2 and a half to 3 years in London, I didn't like it. Moving back to Manchester. The Jamaican friend I had was a caretaker now. He got provided with his own flat/apartment but he stayed with his girlfriend and the flat was used for the dogs. Two German Shepherds. One I stole from him, reality the dog just came with me of his own accord.

At one point I had four dogs that were not mine. Kyrgen Full breed German Shepherd, Kizzy a long Haired shepherd a black Labrador Nelson and and Saxon a mutt. I walked all parts of Manchester with those dogs, not one of them on a leash.

I would bring that dog, Kyrgen back to Ireland with me.

It was not long in Manchester before I was doing what I knew. Trading weed. Man needs to eat. I took a visit home to Ireland, After 7 years all the names had changed.

I left Ireland at the right time to avoid to avoid a high profile. Returned with none at all. Many around this area got strung out on drugs and ruined themselves. Saddening really. Minds and life's wasted.

This kind of life you need to do things you might not otherwise ever have done.

Again I went to what I knew to make money. Though this time I knew, I needed to have a job too. So I picked up a bit at The Courtyard restaurant as a night porter. Money is shite, but the disguise is good. A few month there and I had a barney with the head chef. Because I did not hear him bang the door to get in while hoovering.

So I told him to fuck off and do his own clean up of the kitchen and restaurant.

Needless to say. Now I need to find more work somewhere. I found that in printing. Working casual in Print tech. I got head hunted by Venture Packaging. I was there for four years and they offered me an apprenticeship. I refused and they re-offered saying I could keep my wage. That works cause all of them students.

More money than I was able to spend I had now. So I bought the house my parents rented. A year later I bought one in Florida. Two years later I was going to buy another in Alabama or New Orleans. My Heart was set on New Orleans though. All that voodoo stuff seemed inviting.

Why is it America people fear walking. Like In Pensacola Florida. Nothing like the gangs around Ireland that I could see. A twenty minute walk to the local store or an extra 10 minutes to a mall. When I would return to the house/. All the questions of where I was and getting told not to do that. It's dangerous. Laugh in the face of. Ha. It didn't deter me at all.

I done the same in New Orleans and never found any trouble. I hear later there are places down new Orleans that tourists should not go. This little paddy never had any trouble walking there either. I did meet my first gangster there though. This wasn't a Dennys type café. Bit smaller More like a fast food with seats than a diner.

While waiting for my order of fries and burgers. Homie walked in. His bro's waited at the door. Now this sobered me up quick. This fella looked kinda pimpish. Not a very savoury character. As he talked with the girl behind the counter. The gold in that guys mouth with diamonds in them. Confirmed to me, this was not the joe soap on the street.

My response to see all the gold was. Ras dude, that some amount of gold. Then we sat a table and talked about Ireland for about 10 minutes. He told me that he did come in to the fast food place because I entered. He had never seen me before and was more worried for the girl behind the counter. And yes, he was in the thug life.

Things happen and life changes. Without boring you with the details it was less than a year when I had to make a choice of the house in America or the one in Ireland. I kept the one in Ireland.

Making the choice to keep the house in Ireland. I stopped my extra income and thought I would rely just on a wage. Now this was easy for the first few years. There was enough bank in the shoe box. I could live without stress for over a year.

Now to the wrong thing.

I like to see people smile. That makes everything worth while. Where I can find one, I will send to someone I think could use it. That is what I have done for the last 10 years plus.

I would like to find smiles for you smile too.

Now, Normally I will not send you a DM. In general unless something is said somewhere else and I think you should know, I won't send a DM just to say hello.
My light is always on to show I am here or there and I would give you my number to call, to get me here if wanted
Your light does not be, Probably a good reason for that.

The message I sent to you a few days ago in a DM. It didn't read well to me, what I sent to you. It was all my mind could think to say. I even avoided writing it for a day and then pondered before sending. I wondered why I even wrote to you. Not knowing why convinced me to send. It seems now to me. You needed me to send.

This kind of thing happens to me a lot. Doing something for a reason I do not know that turns out to be helpful. But I am happy about sending the message now, because I think you needed that conversation as much as I did.

Somebody somewhere only has good thoughts for you.

Oh. One last thing.
This is bloody poetic. I bought a hoover a couple of years back. I let someone borrow it. The son of the someone borrowed a spanner from me and didn't return it. The next time he asked for a tool to fix something I said yes when you bring back the spanner. The spanner did not come back. But when the hoover did. It had a piercing in it. This would stop the suction. Bit of sticky tape fixed it. So not a big deal.

The piercing was caused by a Philips screwdriver. I decide don't say anything to the mom. Just let it go. Eventually I gave that hoover to the mom anyways. A shark hoover you can used without a cord.

Back to the son. A day passed and then the next. He got stabbed with a Philips screwdriver in the back. Nothing at all to do with me. Could ne Karma. Maybe that's how karma works.

Coincidence there maybe or maybe something else.