Expats when they come back home for holidays
This is a funny thing, we expats face when we come back home for holidays, people back home think that we have returned with bag full of money and that we are rolling in gold and cash......haha....seriously. With my friends when I try to be mindful about money, they will pass comments like, why do I need to bother about money, I roll in cash. It is a general mindset that people have that if you are working in Middle East, it means that you have loads of money to throw out. You can lavishly spend and buy expensive things. And they also think that all the time we are buying Gold. People will ask you questions like, how much gold have you purchased till date.
The fact is that the life in Middle East is as expensive as living in the home country, and then when one moves there for work, they do to take care of all the responsibilities that they have on their shoulder. It's never easy. Sometimes I see that my friends in Mumbai are more reckless in their spendings then even I can think of. Their spending power is more than mine, even if they earn less than me.
The other common problem that majority of the expats face when they go back home is that their friends have expectations that they will entertain them and pay for their food bills. In my circle when I go out, I mention it very clearly from the beginning that we are going dutch and I am not paying up for anyone. I do get to hear sometimes comments like, do not be a miser, you roll in money, you should not bother paying up for everyone. How I wish I rolled in money, then I would not go away from home in the first place...hehe.
Another expectation that people have back home when you travel is that you will take gifts for everyone. If you do not take gifts and then when you meet them, they may ask questions like.....You did not bring anything this time. Which makes it like an unsaid rule that you have to bring something for people back home. In the beginning when I shifted and would go back home, I did all these formalities of buying things for people, but then I felt it was too much to do it every time and now I have almost stopped all of these formalities. Though I do take a few things for my very close circle, but that I do it with my wish and not as an obligation.
I travel so often that now I have stopped all these formalities. Every quarter I cannot keep buying gifts for people, else all that I earn will be spent only on buying gifts for others. Things are expensive, even if it is once a year visit, there is a lot of expense to it. And then to be very realistic we make a lot of sacrifices being away from home and family to earn, which we do it for ourselves and not for everyone else to take them out for dinners or to take gifts for them.
Personally for me, I keep shuffling between the 2 homes regularly so I do not have much of issues with these things but some of my friends when they talk it really puts me to thinking as to why such kind of attitude and thinking people have.
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This is a real talk and most OFW (Oversees Filipino Worker) shared the same experience as you. Family, friends and even neighbors expect a gift when they go back home when in fact they never help any peso or dollar when that person went abroad to work for the family. Yes they thought that they are just picking money from the streets where in fact they work hard for it.
It is a mindset that people hold towards anyone who goes out of their country for work.
A very sad reality. Hopefully people will have a different mindset towards it. So sad that sometimes they will feel angry if they couldn't receive any from a person returning home from abroad.
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I’m living in Asia and when i get back home , people ask me if I have ever eat dog meat, they think you can go inside to any restaurant and order a dish prepared with dog meat.
Oh god, people think crazily, Asian countries are known for some weird food dishes but that does not mean people are eating that on regular basis
Gifts from someone coming fkrm foregion country is very common expectation in people I have observed. You said well it should be as you wish not an obligation. My brother is out side India, I alwasy ask him why do you carry items form their as allmost everything is available here also what it's her wish to purchase something for my family. On other way it's shows our binding also and our love to each other.
Thanks for sharing..
I do not get gifts very often but I do buy a lot of things for my sister and I love doing that. She gets very angry with me and says the same that everything is available here so why should I get, but then that's my personal wish
When you travel so often it becomes less enjoyable as I can see in your article. People expect and you want to manage your cash flow.
I avoid these formalities, though sometimes I do it, but then that's out of choice and not as a ritual
No matter what kind of explanation you give it can never truly be understood by the people who have this mentality. When you get a certain level that they have not gotten to, it's a given to think that way till they get there as well and see that for every step you take higher you have more responsibilities to handle and the prices of things in the new region you move to gets higher as well. This is not an insult but the best term is ‘poverty mentality’.
That's right or I can also say just that expectation of getting something fancy or expensive
Exactly. Being appreciative of whatever is given is key, it doesn’t matter how small we feel it is.
People always expect people coming from foreign countries to buy gifts for them when they are coming over.
Well, I don't like the expectation but it is something normal that they do here
When I was young I too had such expectations from my cousins who would travel from abroad. Now I understand how painful it must have been for them also to do it every time
Don't know about the people of other countries, but the people of our country expect a lot. My sibling works in Dubai, so her friends say that you will have oil wells in Dubai.
The fun of fulfilling expectations is when you have a mind.... nothing can be done by force.
Ya oil wells, thats right when people think and talk about middle east, but they forget that those wells do not belong to common people.... :)
haha....the dicussion is so funny here.
Oil well and the Gold Jewelry is first come to the mind when talked about the Dubai.lol
According to friends, you will come to India only with oil well.
Naina ji then how much gold have you stored!?😜Yeah, people generally want you to spend.
As for me, If I join any programme, I keep sufficient money ,so that I can payment everyone's bill. It is another aspect if anyone pay mine.😁
I wish I can say tons :)
There are times when I choose to pay up. My socializing is so regular that I cannot do it all the time else I will land in trouble:)
This is so true. Especially here in the Ph. People from overseas when returning home is expected to throw a grand party hahaha. I dont know if its tradition, culture or something else. But yeah youre right everything is expensive nowadays. Flight costs alone already costs a huge chunk. Sometimes I hope there’s an easier way for me to say no to friends and relatives, its just that i am weak turning people down. Hahaha.
I think this is the problem more with the Asian countries. In the west I do not see much of these obligations. I always have baggage weight issues, because in 30 kgs it is not possible that I can bring my own things as well as these gifts also
Teaches a lot of new things in the journey. There is no money on returning home. Thanks for sharing 🙏 🧳