Saturday Sarcasm #49 - White Smoke And Summer Vibes Onchain

Hey crypto bro! Let's enjoy another day with sarcasm and summer vibes, because reality is optional and satire is free! Enjoy the weekend and stay hydrated anon!

Bitcoin hit $100K again, the Pope might be dropping NFTs, touching grass is now alpha, Solana's still glitching with style, and somewhere a DAO bought a potato farm for vibes! The yield was optional!

Yes, one hundred thousand American fiat units. Somewhere, a 2011 miner just found a hard drive and passed out. Meanwhile, all the Twitter influencers are reminding you they "called it at $16K"! You don't know they sold it all at $25,000! !

We got a new Pope! No, he didn’t mint a Vatican NFT, at least yet, but with the way things are going you never know! Don’t be surprised if he drops a “PopePass” on Base. Maybe he'll bless your gas fees or absolve your paper hands. One can pray!

We had white smoke! Pope Leo XIV, born Robert Francis Prevost, became the 267th pope of the Catholic Church! He is the first American-born pope and a member of the Order of Saint Augustine, with deep missionary roots in Peru.

Pope Leo XIV is considered a moderate figure, aiming to unify conservative and progressive factions within the Church! He is upholding traditional teachings while emphasizing pastoral care, inclusivity, and global challenges. NFTs soon?

Touching grass is now bullish! Degens are discovering something called “outside” where the sun gives free vitamin D! You don't have to refresh CoinGecko every 4 seconds. Do you know that even Vitalik blinked twice in the sunlight?

The Solana devs are pretending breakage is just a feature, and Dogecoin is somehow relevant again! We’re all just yield farming through late-stage capitalism.

When things aren't going great... just don't fade! What's the point of being surprised? Things are never going great! Being surprised? Please. That’s for people who expected stability! We were born in a bear market, where “Going great” is just FUD in disguise!

So what's buzzing this week? The Magic Newton and Kaito communities are teaming up to supercharge growth and reward their members. The Magic Newton Foundation is allocating 0.75% (75bps) of the total $NEWT supply to Kaito missions that bring new users to Newton.

How to maximise eligible without a Kaito invite code? I've got you covered anon! Use the "CUSFN9AruVrK" code on Newton, after clicking the "I have a Kaito code" button! This will add another activation to the KPI for $NEWT and will add you in the pool dedicated to yappers! LFG!

There's the social side of the hustle available if you want to skip the AI agent deployment! Will the TGE be mindblowing? Time will tell! Hustle on Discord and earn points on the Newton Portal! Spin the dice daily, play games ... and keep earning credits!

Theoriq is more than mindshare... it's evolution and innovation! What makes Theoriq different is how it weaves together AI and blockchain into a truly symbiotic system. It’s like giving these agents a shared language and a trust layer at the same time. It's time for stats... and lore!

Meanwhile, Humanity Protocol is stepping up as our digital bouncer in an online world overrun by bots, deepfakes, and enough fake accounts to populate a small country. The innovation is like saying “Yes, I’m real” without screaming your personal details to the internet!

I keep claiming my daily HP rewards, and spreading the word to my degen frens! This system isn’t just smarter... it’s built for the next era of Web3. Not financial advice from PVM... just degen instinct!

I've got paid! My Publish0x earnings this year got to a level that required a withdrawal! You probably embarked the same journey and now you're earning crypto just for engaging with content!

Publish0x it’s the platform where you can discover thoughtful articles on crypto, tech, finance, and more, while also supporting authors with tips in real tokens! All that at no cost to you... so it's a no-brainer! Writers share their knowledge, readers learn and earn!

It’s a refreshing way to grow the creator economy while stacking small bags along the way. I say thank you for the $ETH and $OP I've got from my frens and foes, and I promise I will use them for top yield!

I remembered to check Stakecube after a while, probably first time since 2022! My last article about them was published in November 2021, so maybe been longer than what I've initially thought!

Stakecube is a multi-cryptocurrency platform that offers staking, masternodes, and passive income opportunities. Users can easily stake a variety of PoS coins, operate masternodes, and trade on its built-in exchange.

The platform also supports lending, cloud mining, and provides a versatile wallet to manage assets. Stakecube simplifies crypto services, making it accessible for both beginners and experienced users.

I used it early days and was a great place to steak those tokens that weren't available on Coinbase or Binance. They had, and still have, about 30 faucets on a single page... most of them shitcoins... but who cares! It's amazing that I still have assets that didn't rugged in the last three years!

And by the way, just to set the record straight... I’m not at the beach with my swag bag today! I'm right here, fully engaged in the crypto world! Or maybe I am touching sand instead of grass!

OK folks... I'm totally not at some fancy tropical beach or a holiday paid with crypto! I'm out here flexing my Binance bag on a beach full of stones in Devon! Gotta keep it real with the crypto lifestyle!

Liverpool clinched the 2024–2025 Premier League title on April 27, 2025, with a commanding 5–1 victory over Tottenham Hotspur at Anfield! They secured their 20th top-flight league championship!

Mo Salah was the jewel on the crown! He was basically the crypto of football, outperforming everything else on the market! Massive achievement for Arne Slot, taking his team to the pinnacle of success with a combination of tactical brilliance, hard work, and a deep understanding of the game.

It’s like launching a crypto project and watching it not only succeed but dominate the market and gaining respect from the community. Arne Slot’s title win proves he has the credentials to be considered one of the top managers in the world.

While Liverpool's domestic triumph was a significant achievement, their European aspirations fell short this season! This is living proof that even the best projects can hit a draw when it comes to international competition. Still, no worries...there's always next season! Let's #HODL the Premier League!

Residual Income:

Claim your Zerion XP!

Sonium: Sake Fi / Kyo / Arkada / Algem / Untitled Bank

AI Agents & Mindshare: Kaito / Newton / Humanity / Theoriq / FantasyTop

Content: Publish0x & Hive

Play2Earn: Splinterlands & Holozing

PVM The Author - My Amazon Books