My Weird Relationship with Time

Time and I we are really not on the same page not even in the same book. We are not friends neither are we enemies, we just can't seem to match each other energy. I know for a fact that I am not the only that can't seem to manage my time. Sometimes I feel like I have all the time in the world and other times I am left wondering where time went to. Sometimes 5 minutes feels like hours when I'm study or doing the dishes but hours feels like a minute when I'm scrolling on Tiktok.

I have always had a weird relationship with time, most of the time it just depends on how distracted I am.I am always that person who is late, on their way or almost there. I am never anywhere on time. It bad because it shows negligence and lack of ethics but I never intentionally plan to be late, it just happens, time just slip by and I'll end up praying to met up an 8:00 appointment when I am leaving my house by 8:30, just magically hoping that time would go back. The worst part is that sometimes I prepare early and end up going late because I feel it's to early to leave the house – oldest trick in the book.

Deadlines are the worst thing that could happen to me because they give the illusion of having a lot of time, I'll leave the task unattended for days until I have only a day, two hour or even one left, before I feel the need to start. Then I go into hyperdrive; at that moment I am so focus and in my zone, trying to do the impossible, barely managing to finish in time.The worst is the idea of saving task for the perfect moment that never seem to come. I'll put off task for when I'm in a better mood or for the right moment. "I'll be more productive next week" or "I'll start exercising tomorrow", but never actually do them.

Alarm don't seem to work, I'll just keep hitting snooze and I'll time myself but I'll just end up being distracted, shifting time until i lose track of time and eventually get nothing done. My relationship with time is weird and inconsistent. I still struggle to fully grasp how long ten minutes is and what I can do in that amount of time but I'm still working on it hoping I'll "get better with time".

It's Abeegail
Thanks for reading 😊.

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