Heavy Eyes and A Busy Mind

I had my first lecture of the year today. I felt excited at first because It’s been eight months since I last sat in a classroom. During the lecture I realised how much I had to revise, and how many new things I would need to learn. Within the past few months, the school had changed the exam pattern from theory to objectives. My friend and I had assumed it would be easier since no lecturer would tell us to write "exhaustively". However, a few minutes into the class, I realised this new pattern might even be more demanding.

Our lecturer kept throwing questions at us, things from our first, second, and third year and many of us sat there blank, embarrassed, because we had forgotten almost everything:) After the class, all I could think about was how I’m going to revisit my old notes. It's going to be a lot of work, but it’s something I must do if I want to understand what we’re about to learn this semester.

Then I remembered the other things happening in my life: my new apartment, the broke landlord who keeps asking for extra months of rent, and the painter who went ahead to use dark pink for my room instead of the white I requested. I didn’t realise how much all of this was weighing me down until I suddenly lost my appetite. I tried to get some sleep, but couldn't. I ended up scrolling through TikTok and felt even more drained.

Right now, I’m feeling many things, but if I have to choose one sensation, it would be the heaviness in my eyes. It’s the kind of feeling that doesn’t just come from lack of sleep, but from a mind that has been running nonstop. This sensation reveals how my body is responding to the pressure of today and even the stress from the past few days. It shows that I’m carrying a lot emotionally and mentally, and it’s starting to weigh me down.
For me, this is a reminder that I need rest. And my mind needs decluttering. Little actions like stepping away from my screen, taking a short walk, and giving myself at least seven hours of sleep tonight could help reset my system. I also need to be intentional about calming my thoughts, so that I don’t drown in this feeling of being overwhelmed.

Maybe the necessary change I need right now is ta simple one: slow down, breathe, and give myself permission to take things one step at a time. Because as an adult, I’ve learned that the body doesn’t raise an alarm immediately; it whispers in subtle ways. And when I don’t slow down to listen, the stress quietly piles up until it becomes a bigger problem. Maybe this little sensation is just my reminder to choose rest, slow down, worry less, and give myself room to breathe in the middle of everything life is demanding from me.

I'm however happy and very grateful to begin a new school year:)

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Photos are mine, edited with canva.