You could learn by experience or learn from other people's experiences, but at some point in life, we become so saturated with troubling thoughts that we probably surrender to their tortures or learn resistance to them. The latter has been my position. A friend of mine came to me recently with rants on how her boss has been unfair, and she was ready to blow hot with him. Thankfully, she was willing to listen to my advice, knowing fully well that responding in her current mood would make her say things she might regret later. I called her down gently but firmly, 'Learn not to react immediately, and not everything deserves your reaction'. This is one major lesson I have learned over time, mostly from experience.

I used to put the world on my shoulders in an attempt to solve all problems and situations. As a superhero, you could tag me. I wanted to be Mr. Nice guy for all and sundry, so little or no attention was paid to my mental well-being. At least not until I had a mental breakdown. Before this year, 2024, I wanted to satisfy as many people as possible, even when they didn't realize the sacrifices I was making. I could go all out to defend friends, family, and even strangers. Nothing was wrong with all those, but I did not have a limit to my superhero skills.

Basically, I realized that I had a shady and unclear perception of the actual state of things when I reacted promptly, which probably would put me at a disadvantage. Well, just like a storm or unsettled water, it was difficult for me to see beyond the obvious. It was difficult for me to hold back my emotions and react, but intentionally, I had to stay put by calming myself with a chill pill. I got a reminder testimony from a high school junior to another where the former told the latter that 'James would not take any nonsense' and this made me smile. Truly, I would not take nonsense, but as I have grown and matured, I would probably just let the 'nonsense' slide and move on.

Not reacting to distractions is not enough for me; I wouldn't want my mind wandering in idleness! You may refer to my focus as being self-centered, but for me, it's a path I am comfortable with. 'Prioritizing myself' has been my watchword since this year began, and oftentimes, I remind myself to let go of excesses that serve as a burden to me both physically and emotionally. This does not literally mean I do not get affected by disturbing or troubling thoughts, but, I have learned to stay unaffected by them, stay optimistic, and channel my energy into matters that would benefit my mental states.

Without remorse, I have said countless nos to requests, especially those I could not afford. Helping friends and family is lovely, but not at the detriment of one's convenience. Here's my principle of traveling light with my thoughts and emotions.

-identifying troubling or disturbing thoughts

-filtering thoughts by relevance and priority

-slowing down or not even responding to those thoughts or demands

-channeling my thoughts towards events that keep my mental state healthy.

With losses and gains in life, I am least concerned but focused on staying healthy mentally and physically. Do I have frequent troubling thoughts and disturbances? Yes! Do I let them weigh me down? I don't even give relevance to them, thus diverting my attention to healthy thoughts. Sometimes, I wonder how I manage to stay calm in troubling situations.

IMAGES ARE MINE

Thank you for reading. I hope your mind stays clear always.