Committed Against Commitments?

Yayy, I have the chance to rant again! Just kidding, this isn’t going to be a rant. But, I will be talking about some deep things, which I don’t think anyone is interested in, anyway, but I can’t help talking about because this platform is more than anything, my safe space.

I’ll begin with the events of just a few hours ago. Here I was, returning from the market, after spending half a day purchasing basic items that are currently making me scared to open my bank app ever again. I got to the gate of my school, and realized in horror that I’d forgotten my IDs in the dorm, and this meant I wouldn’t be allowed in because only hard copy identifications are allowed not soft copy. I began to make calls to get my roommate to retrieve my ID from the room, and bring it to me.

And then, I saw this message. “Good evening, Tessa. You have been recommended as the new Financial Secretary of LAWSAN (Law Students Association of Nigeria). Please begin this process to indicate your interest in accepting this position.” I should have been jumping for joy as I saw that message. Someone thinks I’m amazing enough to occupy this position. I’m finally putting myself out there, and people value me enough to recommend me as the perfect candidate for this.

But I mentally let out a high-pitched shriek of despair. I realized then that I didn’t want it. I’m already too swamped up in responsibilities. I barely have time for myself anymore. 24 hours no longer feel enough. Commitments and responsibilities, school load and workload, everything extremely necessary. Everything too important to not be handled, and now I was supposed to take up a position that demanded me to not just be in charge of the finances of the Law Faculty across boards, but also have as a sub-task, the beautiful task of demanding people pay up their dues and levies.

As soon as I announced the news to my closest colleague, he suggested to run away as fast as I could. He does occupy this position on a lower scale, and regaled me with tales of his endless suffering. What to do, guys? On one hand, this is a chance to take up a responsibility that will enhance my career as a legal practitioner, and on the other hand, there’s all that is expected of me as the Financial Secretary which may just be more than I can chew. What, really, to do?

I haven’t given it all the thought I’m supposed to, but these are my scrambled thoughts as well as my minimalistic approach to these responsibilities and commitments that I once adored but now begin to feel like a burden. The first thing I’ve begun to cultivate, for starters, is exercising. I can’t explain it, but I feel better and ready to take on the world after working out. It may be short-lived by the overtaking of events, but I do start my day on the best note possible when I exercise.

The next thing is decluttering my work space. Most of the work I do is online, and when it’s not online, it has to do with books. Lots and lots of books. Mostly academic. Even with how tired I was, when I got back from today’s market exertions, I immediately dispatched the packages to where they were supposed to be, tidied up the rest of my corner, remade the bed, and felt a lot better. I guess, that’s why I have the energy to write this post. My living space is in order.

Calendars and planners are yet to work perfectly for me, so I’m just learning to prioritize better. Which leads me to my last approach. “Learning to Say No.” I think I’m going to respectfully decline this position, even though I still believe it would be an amazing opportunity for me. I frankly don’t think I have what it takes to accommodate this position at this time. But I haven’t slept over it yet. Who knows? My decision may change. If you have a contrary suggestion as to why taking it will be better, and what I can do to make it work, I’ll appreciate that.

I didn’t rant as I thought I would, but I’ve gotten a fair deal of clarity, regardless. Which is why a #KISS topic would always be cherished by me. How is everyone doing?

Jhymi🖤

_{Image is mine.}