Defying Societal Expectations For A Secured Future.
Imposing my belief on people is one thing I don't enjoy doing and instead of getting into arguments, I try to make people see things from my perspective. Of course, I can't be right always but some situations only need a simple explanation to make people get your point and I try as much as possible to walk away when a simple explanation leads to an argument.
With my little time on earth, I have learned that whatever doesn't align with what a particular person or group of people believe in is usually tagged as what's wrong and these things have made it difficult for some humans to differentiate between what's right and wrong. Instead of proving a point about what is wrong or right, the majority of us just stick to our beliefs which isn't a bad decision. My minimalist lifestyle has been questioned severally and sometimes, I get tired of trying to make people see the good about the lifestyle I have chosen.
Some time ago, I had a group of friends who were just colleagues initially. I felt like we had common goals which was working on becoming financially stable so I didn't hesitate to associate with them. We were right on track at the beginning and I felt happy because I find group work or goals not just interesting but inspiring as well.
Along the line, a few of them started bringing some ideas that have to do with having fun as a group. I don't dispute the fact that all work and no play makes Jack but I didn't sign up for what they agreed on doing.
Different suggestions were made about us having fun and in the end, they concluded on one person footing the bills of the group every Friday wherever we had fun. It was a big deal for a guy like me who had lots of responsibility on him and moreover, there are lots of fun activities we can engage in other than eating and alcohol. I wanted to see how things would go so I went with them on the first Friday and wasn't surprised.
We arrived at this restaurant in Ikeja and I knew immediately that we were making a huge mistake. Throughout the time spent there, I took a can of malt and table water but my friend did otherwise which got me thinking of we were earning the same salary. The person responsible for the bills that Friday paid a huge sum for the food and drinks which was about half our salary.
On my way back home that day, I made up my mind about not going with them anymore. I didn't tell anyone until it was another Friday and when I told them, they started acting funny. They murmured and probably didn't take it personally because they thought I might change my mind later but that didn't happen.
Two weeks after I stopped going out with them, they treated me like a stranger which I didn't bother to ask why. One of them eventually stepped up to challenge me asking if I think I am righteous. I didn't pick a quarrel with him because they didn't know a lot of things about me aside from just my determination to be financially stable. I made it clear that I wasn't financially fit for what our friendship was demanding.
You are stingy I heard this several times from them but it didn't bother me because I know that's not true. I might not have the money to squander in the name of fun but I wouldn't deprive myself of the things I truly needed.
They created a new WhatsApp group and I wasn't added. They discussed important issues there and only joke on the old platform, I really wanted to make them see the truth but I didn't want to be pitied. I didn't want them to think I couldn't become financially stable without them so I just let them be, we moved from being friends to total strangers.
Among these friends, some are not fit for what they have gotten into be they want to be accepted and can't say no.
There are times I thought I might be too rigid with myself but when I look at things again, Spending recklessly isn't just my thing. I am not financially buoyant yet and even if I am, spending recklessly isn't my lifestyle. I know how tough it is to earn, I know what's ahead of me and I must only spend my money wisely.
Whenever irrelevant impromptu spending comes up, I tell people that I have my finances planned and they find that very annoying. I won't do more than what I am capable of and there is no going back with this lifestyle.
It's easier for people to say dirty things about you when you don't want to be part of what they are doing and it's left to us to stand on what we belief in. If you bow to their pressure, it would end with regret and these same people will eventually laugh at you for trying to live above your means.
All images were captured by me.
It is always best that we know how to stand on our principles, there are friends who will try to make us spend more than we are capable and it is left to us to do what is best for ourselves.
I can relate to your situation with your friends, it happened to me in the past and today I'm still glad I let my friend know I don't just spend more unnecessary.
As someone who is trying to have financial freedom, I try to spend my money consciously.
That's right, standing firm on our good practices is very important because whatever happens after abandoning those practices becomes our problem.
Wasting resources such as money wouldn't make any sense and we must be very careful of the people we allow in our lives.
I like the way you handled the situation. I do the same and try to avoid arguments, as much as possible, as I don't need others to agree with anything that brings me happiness.
Happy New Year!
Thanks for your #KISS
I enjoyed it 😉
lips sealed
Arguing or forcing people to follow my beliefs is not my thing and sometimes it baffles me when my silence regarding these things eventually changes their minds.
The results of my practice are very clear and visible and it automatically makes people change their minds about what they are doing wrongly.
I can agree with you on this. There are times that we don’t need to spend buoyantly but wisely.
Every Friday is quite draining, it is nice to have fun alongside the hustle but at least it should be minimal.
You get my point, doing that every Friday doesn't make sense to me. We aren't earning that much to be flexing like kings... Now is the time to work, the flex can always come later and still, we don't have ti waste all in the name of flexing.
One thing I tell people is, to know your stand and know who you are. It is easier to exclude yourself from things you know aren't meant for you.
I get the point from you and your friends but they went too far doing what they did. Everyone has a right to their opinions and the grownups are not supposed to treat you that way, this is something younger ones do and they are cautioned.
I have experienced so much in life that I have cautioned myself never to judge people even when their actions are wrong to me, yes everyone has a choice but everyone also has a reason to do what they are doing. But unfortunately, not everyone will think that way. I am not financially buoyant but one thing I am very cautious about doing most times is letting myself enjoy the fun of life when I have the opportunity, I call it spending recklessly on those days because I know that money would have been used for something else but I choice to spend it that way because I want to and I deserve it too.
Nice post.
There are days I want to spoil myself as well, I spend on things other people see as a waste but it doesn't happen often. Repeating the outing every Friday was what I didn't think was the right thing to do but they were really into the fun and didn't see any fault in it.
Many of them ran into debts at work which led to their dismissal.
Hmmm, such is life, we most time let people taste the actions of their choices, whether good or bad, because trying to let them see it may result in unnecessary conflicts that could be avoided. I hope they learn too and adjust because I have been in that place too.
Jeez. I can't imagine you showing up to one of those outings and the bill is more than you can afford. It was a good thing you had malt and water in the first evening in case stories that touches the heart happens.
Take your stand and don't let anyone tell you how to spend your money. Plus, no one will ever spend your money better than you.
It is only people who are living without financial goals that spend recklessly. It's a good thing you didn't joined them and I like the way you handled the situation.
I can't imagine going out to see someone spending half of my salary on food and drinks not to even talk of me spending it myself. I will beat the hell of myself that day😂 I mean that's crazy but it seems some people don't reason it, all they want is let me enjoy first.
It is not a bad idea to have fun, but at least it should be done moderately. Having a minimalist fun life is the best.
Spending wisely is amazing but the pressure is too much most times.