My 2025 year became tough for me because I experienced silent battles on my own in a quiet dark room. If I were to describe my whole 2025 year in three words, my answer would be "Boring," "Dark," and "Weak." But despite all the things I experienced, I was grateful because I felt strong enough to surpass them all, and I was able to stay alive until this year of 2026.

Actually, I am also surprised because I managed to face those alone. I was really hoping that this year would not be the same, because I do not want to live the same way I did last year. I do not want to attract negative energy—the bad thoughts and beliefs that I always think about.

Because I read somewhere that if you allow yourself to be drawn to or truly believe in the mindset of negative thoughts, your future life will reflect the way you think. You cannot blame anyone for how you live, because you are the one who controls your life.

Because of that lesson I read, there is one thing I regretted last year: blaming other people for how I was during that dark time. There were many bright sides and options, but I still allowed myself to remain that way. However, I also cannot fully blame myself, because it is really hard to think clearly during such moments.

Anyway, it has been five days since we welcomed the New Year. I have not been back here for several months, and I am sorry about that. I focused on myself to the point that I lost weight. I chose my peace of mind. I also became busy because I was appointed as the secretary of the Persons with Disability (PWD) association in our barangay, and I will hold that position for three to five years.

Honestly, I do not really like governance. However, since some PWDs here are often neglected due to the lack of focus from barangay officials, I decided to join and learn how this association works so that children with disabilities in our barangay can be treated better. But shibal! 😩😂 It is really tough to be one of the officials, especially when the association you are part of involves members who cannot always provide help or cooperation because of their disabilities. However, our president is older than I am—he is my grandmother’s sister’s husband—which makes me feel more at ease because I can learn from him how this kind of association works. I have learned a lot from him. I did not aim for a higher position, even though many of the parents of my fellow PWD peers in our barangay encouraged me to do so, because I wanted to learn first. 😉

Well, that is one of the reasons that makes me go outside our house, because I help our president go to the municipality in our bayan to process our documents and attend meetings with PWD officials and sometimes with our barangay captain. That is also why I sometimes regret being a secretary, since I am an introvert and not very good at communicating. However, I am glad that I am able to give suggestions when needed. I survived. 😭

Anyway, this is one of the topics of my blog that I wanted to share with you, because I am taking small steps. There are small lessons I have learned from a field I did not expect to enter or do well in, and I am proud of myself. Right mow, when I thought about my year in 2025, I believed it would be useless—but I guess it is not.

Since I entered that field, I changed my mindset. I always questioned myself, "What am I good at?" It's taken me a lot of years to accept my disability, and I am shy about it. But I didn't know that this kind of opportunity would come to me, that I could shine my darkest side and could turn to the positive side. I really hope that this association can really do well because I am also hoping that I can fight for our fair treatment in our Barangay because it's been years and no one cares about the disabilities in our place. They always just focused on senior citizens.

Since we now have this kind of association, I am glad that the government has finally noticed us. Well… it would be okay for me if they neglected me, but when it comes to other PWDs who do not have enough—especially the children who truly need help—I cannot bear to see them suffer because of their disabilities.

Guess what? We gave something for Christmas. It was just spaghetti, but it was meaningful spaghetti for the PWD kids in our area. I’m not usually into drama, but when we gave them these packed items, I saw, for the first time, genuine smiles on their faces. It was not from my own pocket, but I am committed to doing my best as one of the officers of this association.

One thing I am looking forward to this year is seeing their brightest smiles again and ensuring their worries are heard by our government. This simple gift is just the start of our budget, and I hope the government will provide more support for future projects. Actually, we already have some projects in mind, and that is one of the things I am looking forward to this year.

Well… this is just a simple update on what I have been doing before the year ends. I am not playing mobile games as much anymore. I only play CODM sometimes when I am mad at someone. It is my stress reliever, because I get to hold a gun there. Lol.