Cross-Cultural Identity

While we might often hear the term Third Culture Kid (TCK) which basically is a person who spends almost half of their life away from their original culture typically used for cross borders (from one country to another) ^{Ref 1}, there is also a term called Cross Cultural Kid which is the word referring for those who make meaningful interaction with different culture during their transformative years ^{Ref 2}. In Indonesia, especially these days many children are part of Cross-Cultural kid due to marriages between different culture, ethic, and even languages. To give a picture why some Indonesian can be considered as CCK is because though one lives in any parts of Java, they can be ethnically, a mixture of Chinese, Minahasan, and Sundanese. They practice both Chinese and Minahasan culture, and speaks a little bit of everything maybe except Sundanese because they left the place when they were young. Through schools, they are required to learn Javanese and they also converse in Javanese with their social peers.

Many says being a TCK or CCK can be an advantage, they both share similar struggle such as as not feeling like belonging or even looking as their peers or the people around them. Another thing is that, the culture practiced inside the home might not be the same as the culture practiced outside. Typically, a CCK (Cross-cultural kid) can speak multiple languages depending on their parents origin and even upbringing. In modern Indonesia, the topic of identity is pretty intriguing. Many children these days are a product of intermarriage but also modernity. For instance, some of these kids struggle to understand their origin because their parents no longer follow the clan naming system. This practice used to be done in the past in Indonesia especially in some parts of Sumatra and Sulawesi, where a person will carry their clan/family name to preserve the ancestry system as well as providing the sense of belonging. When you have similar clan/family name even being abroad can help you feel sense of belonging. This is what most modern Cross Culture Kid couldn't feel especially when their parents did not practice/follow the clan naming system anymore.

“I thought you’re Chinese”
“I thought you’re from Manado”
“You’re certainly not a Javanese”
“Well, you don’t have the accent. So, we thought you’re just an Indonesian Chinese”
“We thought you’re from the Philippines”

This was something I heard growing up and even when I am traveling overseas, I am never considered Indonesian. I was either from the Philippine or Singapore (oddly due to them thinking I was somewhat looking like a Chinese). This made me curious about it all and recently came to my attention as well. Now, I am surrounded by people who somehow look like me and all of them are from Sulawesi.
Prior knowing my actual lineage, those things made me curious of where was my ancestors come from. I only know that from my paternal family, they were Javanese through and through. My maternal side is a bit more complicated. She is a Cross-Cultural Kid and even ethnically diverse too. She is partly Sundanese Manado and God knows what mixed was there. In the past, during my parent’s time, it is discouraged for a Javanese man to marry a Sundanese woman. Back in the day these were sort of strictly imposed and even disagreement in family makes it look like a cultural Romeo and Juliet saga. These two cultures have different beliefs in ways to govern themselves too. But obviously, these days it is just a myth and people still marry each other regardless of what history said and 6 centuries ago.

I grew up outside of my parents’ culture which made me lose touch with my actual lineage. I finally understood that feeling of never belonging and feeling like I was just a lost piece of a puzzle in a board that won’t ever fit me no matter how hard I tried to blend in. Most of my siblings are like that too, they were often mistaken as people from east rather than Javanese. Unlike me, they don’t really put these things into a magnifying glass as they grew up with my mother unlike myself who was adopted into a family with different culture that it was so obvious, I looked different.

Having a different physical appearance can feel a bit alienating but it’s that quite isolation that you don’t really talk about. People where I am from like to comment on looks and that is where it shows the differences. When you’re with people that look like you, it is much easier to think that you’re one of them, but when you look completely different, it is hard to feel that belonging. As a kid, I asked my mother why I looked different and my adoptive mother managed to convince me that I looked like my adoptive father side. It was the just enough answer that now, I realized I missed out on understanding my own lineage and ancestry. That I look this way because I was a mix of different ethnicities.

When I started learning more about where I came from, it made me understand why I could easily feel home in places I’ve only set foot in for the first time. The idea behind it was simple, I was visiting a place where everyone around me looked like me. While I didn’t speak the language but as always, it didn’t really matter as I picked a language fast.

That's probably it. I finally realized, I am not misplaced and what used to feel like a confusion is now a clarity. And now, I can proudly say I am the in-between child where home is simply everywhere.

_Reference - ₁ - ₂