Just say NO

When someone makes a request from us, we're meant to reply with either a yes or no right??? Emphasis on either. But for some people, it seems there's no such word as "no". Rather, it's a yes or yes to every request no matter the effect it ends up having on them.


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I know it's good to help others in any way we can but in situations when we just can't or the help needed is for something insignificant or moronic to the eyes of all, then why say yes??

Though I won't lie, sometimes I go ahead to do things I don't want just to put a smile on someone else's face. But again, I know when to give a big no in response.

Sometime ago, a friend of mine was dating this guy she was so in l̶o̶v̶e̶.... actually infatuated with. When he had asked her out, she didn't cease to blast my eardrums with screams of excitement. As time went on, a day wouldn't pass by without her going on and on about how sweet he was to her.

However, things got pretty interesting when this perfectly perfect guy broke up with her in less than a month and I received the honour of listening to her cries and profanities. Except I was wrong to think that would be the end.


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Precisely three days after, she called me and made an inane request. She wanted to know if there was another girl in the guy's life and if not, then find out the the type of girls he likes......... through me. Her plan was to send his WhatsApp contact to me while I chat him up smartly and dig out the information she needs.
As a private investigator or what?

When she stopped talking and looked at me eagerly waiting for my response, I couldn't help but let out the best laugh I'd had in a while. It had to be a joke right? But the determined look on her face told me otherwise and my laugh died on my lips. Right there and then, I realised she wasn't just infatuated but obsessed and I refused to be part of such a sickening obsession.


I asked her what she would gain by doing such and her response was anything but encouraging. Then I said no. She begged, I refused, begged again and I refused again. She flared up and threw insults at me and I gladly took it all. Afterall I understood her actions were as a result of puberty's hormonal changes. When she eventually calmed down, I sat her down and we had a heart to heart conversation.

This guy has made it clear that he doesn't want you anymore so why are you trying to force yourself on him?

Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want you and as such won't value you?

Why would you choose to make yourself a liability or burden to someone when you deserve to be treasured?

That is something I can't and won't do so there's no way I was going to aid her in making a fool of herself. If not for anything, she has a reputation and her self dignity to protect and I was glad to have refused her request which turned out to benefit her in more ways than the serenity I felt within me.


@flora11 and @harmony01, you're welcome to share your take on this.

🌟



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Sharing this alone is a bold step..
You know; saying 'NO' outright is usually a difficult decision to make for most people including I myself but when you learn to say NO to things that stand against your opinions and beliefs then you'll realise it'll be worth it at the end... Sometimes we speak the bitter truth by saying NO outright, it might not be sweet to the ear at first but then when you reminisce about it on your own, you will then see the truth behind the NO..
You're really a good friend there you know.. personally I'd like a friend who'd say NO to me and call my attention back than indulge me in my fantasies or obsession especially when it's not worth it...

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(Edited)

Honestly, saying no always seems like the most difficult task on earth. Most times, it even makes me feel like a bad person but then again, if it's going to affect me in anyway or most especially cause harm to others then it's a no no.

I needed to let her see the bigger picture and understand eggxactly what she was intending to do.

I appreciate you popping in to drop this substantial contribution 🥰.

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Thanks buzz buzz

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Most Some people are like this when it comes to their first love, it is never easy to let go especially if she had her first everything with the guy so I kinda understand how she feels but she took it to the extreme measure.

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Yhhh ... That was the case with her.
She felt like she lost herself to him and rather than letting go, decided to change herself to suit his taste, which is quite irrational to me.

Thanks for popping in

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(Edited)

That was such a relatable read.

Sometimes saying "no" feels harder than saying "yes," especially when it's someone we care about.

But like you showed, it can actually protect both sides in the long run.

Do you think people struggle to say "no" more because of guilt, or because they’re afraid of losing the relationship or friendship? 🤔

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Eggxactly... It's like a critical decision where a lot is at stake and not just one person gets affected.

To me, guilt is the last thing on the list. It's more of the feeling of trying not to lose the friendship, so anything to please the other person

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I feel some persons prioritize some relationships that aren't even meant to be over their sanity, which is very crazy.

I hope that they'd learn to set boundaries soon.

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Ohh I've surely seen such relationships which I usually call toxic.
Just like Adekunle Gold, a Nigerian artist sang, if it will cost my peace then I will quietly take my leave.

Thanks a lot for popping in

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It's good to always choose peace for your sanity.

My pleasure @soma18 😊

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