Double Dating -A Plague

Hello!!!! I’m delighted to share my opinion on this topic Double Dating which was the very reason I path ways with my ex-girlfriend. The truth is, no reasonable person will be very comfortable or feels okay when he/she discover their partners is double dating except if the person is fleeting with them or doesn’t have passion for them all.
I’ve witnessed an incident that took place two year ago. My uncle was dating a girl for over a year and they were planning to get married. Unknown to him, the lady was double dating. One day he prepared himself to go to the girl’s family and meet her parents so they could discuss the marriage and its preparation. He invited his friend to accompany him to the house. They got to the house, greeted the parent and proceed with the discussion. Meanwhile the lady was not around when they came initially. When she return to the house, on stepping into the living room, she stumbled. Why? The friend my uncle went with was actually the second guy she was dating. That was the end of that relationship.

Double dating has become so mainstream in our society and has literally turn into an act of norm to some people. I’ve seen beautiful relationships that started well and moving smoothly crumbled because of double dating. People’s life has been battered and shattered because of this act. What then is double dating?

The concept of Double Dating is seen at an act of involving in a romantic relationship with two people at the same time without prior knowledge or knowing of the person’s involved. People have their opinion about double dating. To some persons it’s a normal thing to do while others are totally against it.
I’ve attended a valentine special hangout/talk show during my days in school and question regarding double dating arises. My God!!! You will be amazed at some of the responses. One question asked was “why do people engage in double dating?” and people gave their honest response base on what or why they involve in the act. Some responses 👇👇

1. Someone said double dating enhances her chances of finding the right partner that will align with her goals, career, kind of family you may want to have. It helps her understand the qualities she want from a person. Is just like you carrying out an experiment of different samples in the lab until you find the right sample that will give you the desired result.
2. Another person said, she double dated because her partner wasn’t satisfying her needs. He is good looking, smart and the kind of man any woman will want to have but he is not financial buoyant to take care of her needs and so she needed someone who can assist her financially with some of her needs. Hmm🤷!!!
3. Another person said he cannot put his whole fruits in one basket, meaning he can’t bind his full self to just one person, he need to have plan B just in case plan A didn’t work out.
4. The last person said the reason why she is double dating is because of the experience she had. According to her she has had bitter experience with guys hurting her by breaking up with her after committing all herself to the relationship. She said those guys knew she love them only, she doesn’t cheat and so they devalue the love, for that reason the decided to choose the path of data multiply partners so she can share the love just in case one decided to mess up.

In as much as those above reasons may sound tempting to concord with, it does not justify the fact that double dating is good and should be practice. It actually an evil practice and can hurt the parties involved.
Based on my personal experience, my ex-girlfriend told me that the reason she ends up finding herself double dating was because I was to linear, calm and gentle on her. I don’t scold her when she is at fault. Is either I tell her don’t do it again and that is it. She needed someone that can be tough on her or violent so that they can have issues and later reconcile but I was not that type of person and that prompted her to double date.
In my opinion I feel the cause of double dating in most people can be rooted to one of the following below:

1. Experience: They are people that have had bitter experience with past relationship. I’ve heard people saying all men are the same or all women are the same so why should I settled for just one partner after all sooner or later he/she is going to be like the rest and break up. Experience have made people change their perspective and though toward sticking with just one partner alone in a relationship.
2. Mindset: Mindset especially the negative aspect of it, is often characterise by fear, worry, doubt or anxiety. The thought of betrayal has transform some peoples’ life into having the mindset that “all of them are the same, let me do what others are doing”. They have made up their mind to double date.
3. Selfishness and Greed: Some persons involve in double dating for their own selfish reason, what they will gain at the end of the day. By dating this person, I can get this from him and by dating that person will get that from him.
4. Emotional instability: Some people are so emotionally unstable to a point that whoever approach them with their kind of love language either words of affirmation, gifts, intention or touch, they tend to start getting closer until he/she finally falls into the trap of dating two persons with even knowing how comes.
   Whatever the case may be, let truth be said. Double dating is not good. It is not a healthy practice as it can lead to betrayal of trust, hurting other partner involved and also lead to guilt and shame.
   Thank you🙏
   Jhay..