Social Relationships

Social relationships are important for everyone. They can lead us to success, but they can also cause us to fail.

I cant say that Im someone who has good social relationships. Thats because I dont have many friends. In Myanmar society, we tend to say someone has good social relationships if they are friendly and have a lot of friends. But I dont really believe thats the true meaning. Ive come to understand that having good social relationships is not just about being nice or having lots of friends.

Still, my mother and a few friends have pointed out that I seem distant and not very good at socializing.

When it comes to building relationships, its important to connect with true friends. Ive come to understand that books and wise people are real friends we should always stay connected to them. As for how to distinguish fake friends, I still dont fully know. But yesterday, I went to the library and found a book titled Healthy Social Relationships: The Right Way. Since Im someone who struggles in this area, I borrowed it, hoping to learn and improve.

Today, I finished reading it and would like to share some of the takeaways that stood out to me.

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Two Types of People

1. The Upper Class (the wealthy)
2. The Lower Class (the poor)

No matter which group we belong to, we must build relationships with both kinds of people. The book shares 9 guidelines on how to relate with both groups:

1. Do your work well and with kindness.
2. Avoid negative or hopeless talk.
3. Be tolerant of others mistakes and help them improve.
4. Dont waste time or money making a big deal out of minor issues.
5. Dont get easily upset by those who speak bluntly.
6. Support and forgive those at fault, as much as you can.
7. Think carefully and plan ahead.
8. Dont believe everything people say too easily.
9. When responsibility comes your way, take it without complaining.

Of these nine, the ones I need to work on are: 3, 5, and 7.

In the past, I had a friend I was very close to. But they did things I disliked not just once but four times. I couldnt forgive that and eventually stopped being friends with them. I also struggle with clear, thoughtful decision-making. Thats something I need to improve too.

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Four Types of Fake Friends

1. Those who come empty-handed and only take.
2. Those who offer only words but never real help.
3. Those who flatter and say only whats popular.
4. Those who stay close only when they benefit from your wealth.

We should avoid these kinds of people as much as possible. And if we must engage with them, we need to be cautious. I often encounter such people in my surroundings. Hands that only take but never give can never be real friends. Pretenders are full of lies. Ive met many people who lured me into destruction encouraging me to drink alcohol or go to bars, saying, That place has the best beer, and so on.

But very few friends ever said, Lets go to the temple, or Lets go make a donation.

After reading this book, I became more aware of these types of people and realized I should avoid them more carefully.

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A New Friend for Me

This book introduced me to a new kind of friend karma (our own actions). Ive always considered books and wise people to be true friends, and now Ive learned that karma is one too.

Karma means the things we do. If we want good karma, we must do good things. We should go to the right places and eat the right things.

In that sense, everything we do becomes our friend.
Only by doing good things can we attract good outcomes the friends we truly need.

Thats what Ive come to understand from this book:
Whatever we do, wherever we go, and whatever we consume we must think carefully first.

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What about you?
What do you think about karma being your friend?
If karma was sitting beside you, what would you want to say?

Thanks for Reading!

#KoKoMoeHein
@myanmarkoko

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