Walking a mile in Dad's shoes
Few steps is more than a mile for him.
Had I not pushed him to walk in the hospital room, we would have been still there - they don't really bother much for the overall well being, there is no holistic treatment to motivate the patient to bring back to normalcy. So it's all on the shoulder of the attendant and after coming home, I tried to push Dad to walk for few minutes in the corridor.
At home, he feels very comfortable and looks much better and no one can even say that he has any health issue but the moment I tell him to go for a walk, I can see a withdrawal symptom and sadness at his face. It's like he has decided to not walk at all and that thought of walk saddens him.
I tried to use a different method, encouraging and luring him like a kid and telling him, how beautiful he looks when he walks and if he walks he can eat all his favorite non-veg items. Seeing this photo made him happy, but it was only momentary. Next morning, he did not carry that inspiration and refused to step out of the door.
Next evening, I convinced him and took to a nearby shop to buy a walker shoes that he can comfortably wear without anyone's help - these shoes are specially designed so that, you don't have to put your hand. And since they are pretty well cushioned, I thought, he will feel much better while walking and get motivated.
But it does not help a lot because the very thought of walk feels like a burden to him. I have been trying to push a lot, but it needs so much patience - because he does not want to listen at all. Tell him hundred times, and he will still not get up from his place. Force him to get up, he will try to beg to wait for some more time with a sad emotional face. Seeing all these, my boy was saying to me, you have a lot of patience to try all these - boy, we will all go through this phase of life. Who knows, when I get old, may be you will have to do this !!!
Dad is certainly going through a big shift in his sentiment and seeing his sad face when I tell him to walk, made me decide not to push him any more. I don't know what's in store for us, but as it's impossible to know why he is behaving like this, we have decided to be more empathetic and compassionate and not show him our frustration or anger and instead treat him like a kid. I am taking him today to his home, where he may feel more comfortable and inspired but again we don't know. It's literally impossible to walk in Dad's shoes, but we will try our best to bring him peace and joy.
This post is in response to the Creative Nonfiction Prompt #154, I am a little late, but life has been so demanding and restless for last couple of weeks.
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Convincing the older generation is not easy. ...i have been through it for 5 years..it may irritate but need to hold on to the patience...dealing with the aged is not an easy things
ya, self satisfaction of trying out has been the only reward so far.
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Good afternoon, dear friend @sanjeevm
This is a complicated age. You have to be a psychologist to interpret and find the best way for older people to do what you ask them to do, and it's undoubtedly good for their health.
You're doing a great job with your dad to keep him active and do walking exercises that contribute to his physical and mental health.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Thank you, these words means a lot at these moments.
I wish your father a speedy recovery from the bottom of my heart. It saddened me, but there is no doubt that we will go through these stages in our lives, and each stage has its own characteristics.
I think you are wise. Respect your father. Respect his choices. We may not understand why someone is ready to rest and stop fighting, but maybe that's a natural part of aging. You are on one of the most important journeys of your life. I wish you and your father well.
This touched my heart. I could feel the struggle when you described your dad’s sadness at just the thought of walking. The moment your boy said, “we will all go through this phase of life,” was powerful and so true.
Beautiful moment you are sharing with your dad which I really love. Family first actually
Wow!! Family first.
I like how you have allowed him for sometime, I am sure he wants to be well again, so he would do anything to get better.
For the time being let him rest a bit but don't give up on motivating him.
Wishing him quick recovery
How nice it is when we pray for our parents and help them. They once did it for us and they deserved it.
Yea.. my mom is like that sorta.. she Will walk when asked, but she used to walk everyday and she would walk 'normal'.. not the old , feeble person shuffle. :P I guess, at some point, u just get old and give things up.. walking included.
Your dad does sound a bit like me when I get real depressed. I don't want to do anything.. walking included. My remedy is to watch movies and vids. seeing and remembering how moving around makes life all good.. that is one key to lifting my mood and then walking is suddenly easy again! :)
Unfortunately he has not developed interest in anything else other than sitting quite and as said an idle mind is evil.
yea. :( some ppl just get older and older and act as if life is all but over.. ,my mom used to play cards everyday.. now, not at all,. she used to watch several shows.. cooking, travel, various gameshows , now.. only 1 show.. all day... its sad.
Maybe he doesn't feel well but doesn't want to tell you to give you worries, parents always think at their sons and daughters first... But at home he will feel better
This was very touching to read. It’s not easy to encourage a parent when they’re going through something so hard. Your patience and empathy really show, and I hope your father finds some peace and strength with your support.
https://x.com/lee19389/status/1966979062582440438
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You’ve made the best decision not to push too hard further
Walking may seem like one of the biggest stress he will ever face. And no matter how much we all try to understand, we may not understand like he does because he’s the one going through it…
That is what a patient needs when leaving the hospital: a little special attention and care that only those who love him most are capable of providing with much love and understanding.
Good idea not to pressure him so he doesn't feel like it's obligatory to take the walks, but the important thing is that he feels the love of all of you (his family), where he can lean on to recharge his energy.
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The bond between a father and a son is a strong one and we should always serve our parents and never let them think that we are not serving them in difficult times.
I hope your dad recovers soon and that, as you say, being at his house, he cheers up a little more. Your post is very moving.
That's right, my friend. In his condition, you have to give him all the peace and joy you can. He must miss his home there, and having him there for a few days will help a lot with his recovery. As he says, it can't be easy being in his position, so you must be patient with him without showing that you're angry with him.
Efforts are needed to heal more quickly. Encouraging your father to walk was a good thing. Otherwise, as you said, you might still be there. You can also prepare for the healing process by continuing to walk at home.
convincing the Old generation is really not at all easy task, but you tried your best, finally your dad is ready for the Walk for healthy life ..
What beautiful photos of you both. I respect your decision to allow him to just be - sometimes compassion is the best response. He's still a grown man and ultimately he should be respected for his choices, even if they don't seem logical or even seem like they are 'adult' at all. Of course walking is good for him, but if he's letting go of life a little, perhaps this is just what has to be.
I remember my friend who got hospitalized. She pushed herself to walk. Her doctor also encouraged her to walk, a good thing for her.
It's really difficult when mobility is affected. Hoping for fast recovery for your dad.