Creativenonfiction #130 - Love Or Balderdash?
School life is fun. We get to meet people and make connections. There are some people got to meet their first love while other people met those who took advantage of them. In school, we also meet different students from different backgrounds, with diverse beliefs and culture.
Almost every corner of the school would be filled with students in groups, some reading, some playing and dancing while some will be lying down on the grass under a tree shade. Amongst these groups of students would be at least one student who was always up to date with the latest gist and gossip about things happening in school.
“Have you heard the latest?” Funke, the gossip monger amongst us, asked. We were five girls, sitting under a tree shade close to the sports court in school.
“What happened?”,one of us asked, knowing fully well that Funke will download the gist anyways.
“Hmmm, you girls are not current at all”. She said before starting with the gossip.
“Did you hear that Ronke’s boyfriend dumped her?”.
“Ronke? Who is Ronke?”, I asked, trying to recall the student she was referring to in my mind.
“Ronke na, short Ronke from the Department of Language studies. The one who always receive lectures with us in auditorium two”.
“Oh, Oh! Ronke”, we all exclaimed in unison.
“Yes. I heard that she has been collecting her school fees from her parents and giving it to her boyfriend?”
“What!” I exclaimed. “You mean she has been giving her boyfriend her school fees all these while?”, I enquired with my mouth wide open in shock.
“I don't believe that”, I said, shaking my head in disbelief.
“It's true o, she told me herself”. Funke continued by telling us that it all began when she started cohabiting with her supposed boyfriend (a term student mostly refer to as couples life).
During her second year. It turned out that her boyfriend needed money to sort out the rent and other things and so he asked her to lend him her school fees, promising to return it before the semester examination approached.
She agreed and lent him the money but he defaulted, and all efforts to try to get the money from other sources proved abortive. This lead to her being unable to sit for her second year exams while her so called boyfriend sat for his own exams, since his fees had been paid.
Ronke could not call home to tell her parents what she had done. She kept up the ruse of "being in school" and kept deceiving her parents.
Third year semester began and she went ahead to collect school fees for the third year but she still gave it to her boyfriend who promised her that he would find a way for her to also complete her school program.
Only for him to dump her towards the final year claiming she has bad character and he can no longer tolerate her excesses.
"She has been crying non stop", Folake said, ending the story.
“Oh My gosh, that's why I only see her during general classes but not during exams”, I said as realization dawned on me.
I remembered that I didn't always see her during examination periodd but I assumed that she might be writing her papers in another auditorium since she was not in my department and we only offered general courses together.
“ Love is truly blind, making her do foolish things”, a coursemate of mine said, shaking her head.
"That's a load of balderdash and not love, ” I said, shaking in anger.
All through that day I was not myself as I was unable to get over the shock of what I have heard.
I replayed the conversation with my friends about Ronke over and over again. It got to a point that I was so angry, my head began to hurt.
“Where were her friends when this was going on?" Does she have no one around her to dissuade her from making such silly decisions?”,
I felt really bad for her for being with someone who took advantage of her. If only she knew better but alas the deed has need done.
Her boyfriend graduated while she was left in a hostel room an undergraduate who deceived her parents of their hard earned money. I wonder what lies she would cook up to dish to her parents concerning why she didn't graduate.
Thanks for reading.
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Hmmm, this is not love abeg. Love does not seek the downfall of another person and love is not selfish as well.
I hope Ronke learnt from that experience.
I do hope she had learned her lessons.
Thank you for reading.
You're welcome
It is my mother's prayer point everyday for God not to give her a child like Ronke 🤲🏿
Same here sis. Thanks for reading.
You are welcome 🤗
Ronke' s boyfriend will meet his Waterloo someday
Well, karma doesn't exist. So maybe, maybe not.
Thank you for stopping by.
Love is blind, you said it so well, and there are always people who want to take advantage of you.
That poor girl did it with all the love she had, but she learned a lesson in the worst way.
Yea she did even though it was a foolish decision. I hope she learned.
Thanks for your time here.
Thank you for having me.
Hello @rukkie,
I'm going to comment on your story as I would to someone who might be in a writing workshop--one writer to another.
You have a lot of good material here. The first two paragraphs are gold... beautifully written. However, they do not add to this piece. The piece is really about Ronke. It's about her lack of character, and how that lack of character cost her dearly.
This is a powerful story. It is tragic, and although Ronke lacks strong character, she is human and we feel for her. She suffers the inevitable destiny of someone with a fatal character flaw. She couldn't stand up for herself with her boyfriend, and she lied to her parents.
We understand her motivation. Who hasn't felt the seductive power of infatuation, or even love?
You can see the power of your piece in my description. So then, what does that have to do with this?
Don't you think the story would have been all the more a punch in the gut to the readers if you had not written those paragraphs but had simply started with the gossip? Perhaps in the gossip you might have added something about how Funke (nice name!) always knew everything and spread gossip.
There is a saying: Don't bury the lead. That means, start with the juicy stuff and grab the reader.
Hope you don't mind this long comment. It is written out of respect. I think you are a writer who can grow even stronger and I think you can benefit from some serious advice on structure. Of course, I can be wrong. I'm just another writer, offering her opinion.
Keep writing. You deliver a good story.
Trust me, I always love and appreciate comments like this on my post. It means you took the time to read and noted things that I can work on to be a good writer.
I totally understand what you mean. I could be scrolling through my feed and I would be really attracted to a post based on the title or first paragraph and I would read it all no matter how long it is.
Thank you so much. I really have a lot to work on and I would keep on improving my writing skills.