The last night
"What if?", Toba murmured as he sat quietly beside his sick sister Shile watching her with pity and listening to her soft heartbeat coupled with the creaking of bamboo walls.
Toba and Shile are orphans, they lost their parents a year before when Toba was fifteen years and Shile was eight years but thanks to the good people of Kumasi village where they live, they never left them to be all by themselves after the demise of their parents. The villagers always support them with foods and money while Toba works to support himself and his sister.
Kumasi village is a forgotten village where development is far fetched. No electricity or a tarred road that makes transportation easier. To move from the village to the city is in every five days with the help of a wooden bus that conveys logs cut from the forest which surrounded Kumasi. Only the villagers and travelers knows how to navigate through the village. Life was simple there, the villagers are mostly farmers so they have lots of fresh foods to eat and they live like a big family where they recognised one another and can easily identify any stranger in their midst.
Toba was now sixteen years of age while his sister was eight years. Toba had always been different from other village boys, he talks more intelligently and brave as well as bold and that makes the villagers like him. He was always found taking spoilt radio scraps, broken bicycle parts and every other electronic gadgets he could lay his hands on trying to see what he could create from them. He wanted to become an engineer when given an opportunity of a formal education as there was no school in Kumasi. Still in the process of thinking how he could make those scraps into a meaningful gadgets, things took a new turn when his sister Shile fell sick and in Kumasi, only one rich farmer named Oke had a car.
Toba rushed to get the native doctor but unfortunately, the native doctor couldn't diagnosis what was wrong with Shile then Toba went to Oke for help. Due to Oke's reputation and connection, he was able to reach out to a doctor in the town by sending one of his servant and that same evening ,the doctor arrived in Oke's car driven by one of Oke's servants. After examining Shile, the town doctor told Toba and well wishers about her condition.
"This little girl is burning of fever and also a serious infection", the doctor said.
This sent a cold chills down Toba's spine, he doesn't want to lose his only family left.
"Doctor sir, what can be done please, I don't want to lose my sister. She is all I've got left please sir", Toba cried softly.
"You don't have to cry, I have a medicine for her but it must be kept cool else it will spoil but how can we use that here where there is no electricity", the doctor explained to Toba and those in the room.
"That is a big problem, we don't have electricity here neither do we have refrigerator or a cooling fan that can keep the medicine cool, what then are we going to do to save Shile", one of the concerned villager in the room lamented.
"Find a solution and reach out to me as soon as possible but in the main time, you can give her this medicine", the doctor said as he stretched a pill in his hand to Toba.
That night Toba sat quietly beside his sister thinking of a way out. As usual, the wind was blowing and the murmuring of a small river not far from Toba's house. Then an idea struck in Toba's mind that made him shout "what if?".
"The river is always flowing, it has never been once still, there should be a way to", Toba said and paused, trying to think of a way to help his sister.
The next morning, Toba was savaging through the village trying to gather any scrap of metals, and gadget motor that he could find. Immediately he went to Oke to ask if he had any broken gadgets he wanted to discard. Oke gave him a car battery he wasn't using and a broken fan. Together with other scrap metals Toba had gathered before and began to build something out of it. Passers by looked him in amusement, some commended his efforts while some said he was wasting his time. Toba worked for two days straight trying to build a wheel that can be powered by the current of the river. After a lots of trial, Toba built a water wheel placed it at the narrow section of the river where the current was strong. He connected the wheel to the fan motor by wiring some wires and run it through the car battery.
Toba payed a close attention to the power generated by the wheels, it wasn't much but it was something, he was always at the river checking how far his invention is doing , he left the battery to charge for two days while giving his sister the pulls given by the doctor to manage her health. With so much worries in his heart, on the second day of charging the battery, he pulled out one of his mother's old cooler. He did some work on the cooler using fans and his home made power source and fortunately, the cooler became cool enough to house the medicine. Immediately, Toba went to Oke to contact the doctor and he immediately come to administer the medication to Shile while keeping the rest in the cooling cooler made as a mini refrigerator by Toba.
And after two days of treatment, Shile became a bit better, regaining back her strength and appetite. News got to all the villagers and those who never believed in Toba when he started all wanted a mini refrigerator like his. Those who could purchase a car battery in town travel to get one so that Toba can build a waterwheel for them also that could power a mini refrigerator just like Toba's. With Toba's invention, he was able to build small ones to run light, although it was faint but at least the light could be seen. He got a light bulb by sending someone going to town. Every parents now use Toba as an example to their children. Other young people who were never interested now began experimenting, learning and building just like Toba. For the first time in Kumasi village, they had a light that could power a bulb, and this was due to Toba's desperation to save his sister.
Thanks for your time and your comments will be appreciated.
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Aww. I love Toba. He didn't want to lose the only family he had left and it turned out to be a good thing for the entire village. That is so amazing.
It was a great breakthrough
This story was really special @rare-gem. It was nicely developed and balanced and had me hooked from start to finish. I could see where it was going, but you told it in an emotive way that tugged at the heartstrings and made the reader will Toba on to succeed. Having said this, a good story also needs to be presented so that it flows well and doesn't jar. To this end, you need to take the time to edit your work. There were too many instances of mixed tenses and incorrect forms of the noun eg: plurals when the singular was required etc. You also add commas after speech marks, which shouldn't be there if you have ended a piece of dialogue with a question mark or exclamation mark or any other punctuation. Basic editing of spelling errors, punctuation, and grammar (without using AI to rephrase etc), is not a difficult task and simply requires the writer to run their work through Grammarly or Google Docs before publishing. But then ONLY accept light editing suggestions to spelling errors, punctuation. and grammar such as tense changes or plural/singular etc. I am being careful to state this clearly because I want you to use the tools available to you, but not to fall into the trap that some have, by accepting all of the editing suggestions and ending up with an AI influenced piece that could get you into trouble. I hope this makes sense. On this occasion, your story carried itself well, and curation has not been as impacted as it should have been. In order to achieve higher curation going forward, you are going to need to edit your work. In closing, I do want you to know that this was a lovely story. Well done!
Wow, I am so elated, thank you for your kind comment and concerning the grammatical errors, I will take note of them all and make amendments. Thank you so much, I appreciate your words.
Toba's ingenuity and the need to save his sister made him create an invention that ultimately helped everyone. A very interesting story.
Thanks for sharing your story with us.
Good day.
Yes, indeed necessity is the mother of invention. Thanks for reading