Breaking Chains Of Expectations: A Daughters Desire For Freedom.

The very first time I tried leaving, Baba locked the gate. Not that he closed the gate, he blocked me from leaving. My dad is someone who loves talking in proverbs..

“No goat leaves its cage as long as food is available.” he said.

Well, I was the goat, my dad's house is the cage and what's the food...let's find out.

Adewale’s family had come to seek my hand in marriage. They brought all that was necessary.....yam, fruit, palm oil, palm wine, bitter kola, clothes, she-goat and all that was expected of them. I don't know why my dad would not want to release me. My mum said was happy, she tied her gele and was well dressed, my dad too was ready, but immediately they arrived, the smile on his face disappeared.

A man came with them who happens to be a very good friend to my dad, one thing led to another and they started arguing...to my dad,

"Where is Soji?” the man asked.
“In Lagos,” Baba(My Dad) said.
“What of Femi?”
“Abroad.”

The man wanted to talk, but Baba cut him off....
He(Baba) looked at me and said, “She is the only one left, she's my right hand, she's my eyes in the market, she's my everything, letting her go now is opening down my door to danger...”

He said it in our native language(Yoruba), then again, I felt the chains around my feet.

The truth remains that, without me, Baba’s stall would really suffer, I doubt my mum would be able to cope as well, and my younger ones...they are still very young, what can they do. I don't even know why they need to play to the extent of having another set of twins after me...I mean after 14years of giving birth to me.

My only way out was marriage, marriage was my only way out of all of these house chores coupled with Baba's business.

Adewale was a very calm and good looking guy, he was a tailor and he has a very bright future, I know that for sure.

*“I will speak to Baba again,” I told him.

“Bring your uncle along next week, my Dad respects him more and am sure he won't be able to give him a no." I added.

They came again on a Saturday morning. Uncle Sunday, a man in his early eighties walked in with his walking stick, he greeted with his thin split voice. Uncle Sunday spoke of different things.....his school days, he spoke about his marriage, his farm, his children and all....Baba was there listening silently.

When Uncle Sunday was done, Baba said, “My daughter will not marry someone who eats through needles and thread, when she has a means of making more.”

The truth is, It wasn’t about Adewale. It was about work/business, it was about keeping his world and business running.

*“She's not your goat,” Uncle Sunday said.
Baba’s eyes changed as he responded, “Then whose is she?”

That was the last time Adewale came by. I returned to being the lady I was, helping Mama while also keeping my father's business running. I saw how happy he was seeing me running off to the market each and everyday.

Well, more like Mama understood me better, one night, while I was washing plates at the backyard, she came by and whispered in my ears, “You need to go dear, but make sure to take something with you.”

“What?” I asked

She looked at me and said, “Something Baba values much more than his yams and cassava.”

Well, I didn’t understand then, and my mind never went there.

Not long after, I realized watbit was, why haven't I thought about this all this while, something that's within my reach, something that would let Baba release me more easily....

I wished the Adewale’s family would come by again, and God heard my prayers, they came by some weeks later and by then....I was more than ready.

The elders were talking in our front yard and I saw that Baba was silent again, I know within me that he wouldn't budge, he will still give them a No as an answer. I went in and walked out holding Baba’s account book. The book contains the names of suppliers, numbers, debtors, and every transaction relating to his business.

“Funke!” Baba screamed.

“I don't have any use for it, once you release me, I’ll return it."

I saw Mama standing at the door, the elders as well were all murmuring. Baba was quiet, and Adewale reached for the book, I held it close.

I knew Baba was fighting himself within, he was wrestling with his pride while still trying to keep his fears... Without that book, his stall was done for.... Creditors would run away, he wouldn't know who and who is yet to deliver for him and all.

He looked me in the eyes and said, *"You are my daughter, why treat me like a thief?”

“Because you have held me hostage for years.” I responded.

I can't help but think of all the years I had carried his tubers on my back, all those times I had gone to his creditors house, all those hours I spend in balancing his account, all the mornings I had to cook, and all the nights my feet ache from walking.

Before I knew what was happening, the exchange was going on. They talked, nod at each other, broke the kolanut and gave their blessings.

I stepped into Adewale’s arms, the account book still in my hands, as I avoid Baba's eyes.

We left that night, but before leaving, Mama pressed something into my palm....It was the key to the stall...

That night, in my new home, while resting on Adewale's arm, I placed the account book and the key under the pillow

I had been freed.
But the ransom was mine to decide.

All pictures were generated using AI.

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