Faith: Drawing Closer.

I found myself struggling with my fire for a few days. The fire of faith. I’ll just go deeper and say I couldn’t do the things I do every morning like my meditation and my ponderings. Things that give my day the boost needed to turn into a productive one. The first thing I felt after that was guilt and sadness. Intense guilt and sadness. Guess what? This just paralysed me.

I wrote some years ago about recognising patterns and using them to my advantage. I recognised this pattern but then, this particular experience taught me that many times, we are just very comfortable in the darkness. We are okay being depressed, being down when we very well have the solution. I’m not down playing what we feel on bad days but I have fully realised that sadness doesn’t do anything good. We sit, cry, and mope around, lose sight of what matters and dwell on things that are not.

In light of all this, I realised that my flame of faith was dwindling. I felt the fire drop a notch and that sparked anxiousness in me. I needed this fire burning. I hate that I was getting comfortable being that depressed, tired old me again. I hated it but for some sick reason, I welcomed it.

Now, here is where it gets interesting. Today, I woke up feeling that weight. Expectations and pressure. I felt the cloud around me and I won’t lie, my eyes watered. However, I have been there before and I never want to go back. So, I turned to my anchor. I sat soaking myself meditating on promises and life spoken from the Holy Book. Before that, I meditated on words, unknown tongues, language of the heavens and angels. In simpler terms, I meditated and had a passionate, lengthy conversation with my Creator. This is my anchor. Everyone has theirs. That thing or someone you turn to when you don’t know anything else.

Several chapters and songs later, I felt it. My flame was reignited. It burned hotter and I was on fire getting tasks done and just being proactive. I learned a very valuable lesson, “draw closer to me and I will draw closer to you”. All I need is to take that step. The step that I want to take is to be better, do better and think better. How do I achieve this?

I feel the pressure, I step out for air. I feel the sadness, I pick up the Truth. I just take those little steps and this thing we call the Universe will respond. As long as we work towards getting better, the laws will work in our favour. I smiled to myself when this revelation dwelled in my spirit. All I have to do is take one more step forward, He will do the rest.

I woke up today feeling gloom, on the brink of tears and my heart strung tight from fear of losing this joy I have. Now here I am, tasks done, energy flowing and mind at ease as I tell of how negativity has no hold over me. Of course, it doesn’t work like magic. This takes faith. It is called Faith for a reason. Faith and love. Love for who you are, who you were and who you are becoming. Acceptance of humanity and forgiveness for shortcomings. We all need our flames burning. Don’t let the storm snuff it out, rather be the beacon in the darkness.