Why The Modern-day Generational Bread Winner Never Attains Financial Freedom.
Yesterday, I accompanied one of my cousins to an uncle's place. This guy needed a loan to kickstart his business again. For 15 to 16 months he got caught up in some familial commitments which needed some crazy amount of money to deal with, and because he was unavailable to work, a flourishing business took a hit, and now he has no money to continue.
On the surface, people would easily see this guy as an ostentatious person, but he came from such family where he was the most Financially equipped individual, he has an insatiable mother, and sisters who refused to work to earn a living.
He was a young hustler who got caught up in taking care of family responsibilities. He was surrounded by people who were not economically innovative. They're not driven to work.
Poverty is like a norm to them, and because they had someone around them who was making some money and building a small thriving business.
Their sense of entitlement made it difficult for them to see the need to individually equip themselves to hustle. It was crazy and saddening to see him in such a financial situation.
I am in a mess myself, battling some of the worst health conditions, a healthy brother who doesn't want to work to earn a living, familial responsibilities and recently paying heavily (financially) for some of the stupid mistakes I made recently.
We were both broke, mine was worse because I couldn't hustle like him. He was the type of guy who built a business from scratch with little or no finance. He's the type of guy that I could easily invest my last penny in, and he'd forget that we're family and make sure I got my ROI. But I was struggling to pay my way out of trouble.
Long story short. This uncle of ours refused to loan him the money because he felt he shouldn't be going broke. True. This guy was someone who shouldn't be going broke,
The Complexity Of Financial Expectations
If you're an African, born in a family where no one is making attempts to beat poverty just like you're doing, this is when you'll understand that money is like fuel, it needs extremal nurture (fire) to keep it burning.
At 34, my cousin has spent more more taking care of family expenses than he's raised his life. For a guy who works 18 hours a day, he lives moderately, and funds the lifestyle of people whose entitlement mentality has finally rendered him broke again, and back to ground zero.
Ground zero is a tough place
sometimes your financial discipline is not enough to keep you afloat. A lot of times, when the people in our lives do not extol the same financial discipline as us, it's difficult to thrive on our discipline alone.
This is why it's important to understand the concept of education and exposure. A lot of people make money solely for themselves, they're thriving people the people around them have chosen to be financially responsible. Some others are not as lucky as this. When you're related to, or have people in your life who are not financially responsible, then you're fighting two battles on two fronts.
A lot of people go broke not because they're not hardworking, but because they're the only ones who choose to work hard
The familial bond is such a revered one, especially in many African societies so much that, some people take advantage of this bond to create entitlement and milk those who are struggling hard to make a living for themselves. We cannot control what people choose to be.
We cannot influence their choice to be responsible. No one chooses the type of financial background they were born into, this is why people who are supposed to go far financially ends up in ground zero.
The ladder of financial discipline is difficult to climb
.....it's important to understand that no one is actually rich enough until their expenditure (no matter how huge it is) does not affect their passive or active income. A lot of generational breadwinners, no matter how innovative they are do not get to this level because they didn't nurture their money, or grow their business enough.
It's saddening.
A lot of people believe that poverty is a norm and they can only be liberated from it by another person.
They deem themselves incapable of working to set themselves free, making them dependent mostly on people who are truly struggling to set themselves free. Yesterday was an eye-opening experience for me, it showed me that not a lot of people are only invested in you because you're much more vested in them, the moment you're incapable, this is when you become surplus to requirement.
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Hmm, so sorry for your cousin condition. I pray you receive divine healing as regard your. The rate at which people particularly family feel entitled when they realize they have someone who at least foot their bills then they become decapitated and rely solely on such person, forgetting such person also hustle to get to where he is. Once your cousin bounce back he should instead focus on himself and help his family to make a living by supporting their business and not just footing the bills. He can encourage them to get a job or rather learn a handiwork. I think that we help his half of his problem.
It's an African/Nigerian thing, although there are people who are lucky enough to be in a different family setting, some others are not so lucky. For those who aren't lucky, it can be a bummer to raise people who are just about too dependent and not willing to do anything about their financial situation.
I agreed with you. It is through conscious effort that one can survive the situation.
You are right. My mom being the first daughter spend her life, time and resources for her siblings which render her poor while the others never value her effort even as they can't do any of such things to Others
Well you're right. Most of the time, it's always about the first sibling. They take too much time overseeing the affairs of others so much that it renders them very poor and unable to grow themselves
The most essential thing in life is to be self-sufficient. I'm trying to teach this to my children. It's not just about being financially sufficient, but also being able to do household chores, etc.
Self-sufficiency is good, sometimes kids don't want to learn that because they feel they'll always have their parents readily available to them at all time.
It's sad though, when you've got all the responsibilities of your family and no of your siblings are willing to strive to help out. That's alot. It's one thing to be financially capable to be able to help your fam so they won't have to depend on you all the time and it another thing to try to help them also but they are not willing to make the best out of it.
It's an African thing. Sadly the mindset of the older generation is still playing. Shouldering responsibilities are some of the most essential things in life, but when it becomes bequeathed to just one person. It's saddening
That is very saddening (and infuriating). Can't believe there are people who feel entitled to things like their family member owed them something. Your cousin seems to have a lot of patience that he lets his fam do such a thing to him. I do hope things will change for the better for him soon though.
He's got a lot of patience like you've said, I think that's because he cannot help it, but they took advantage of it and it let him to be where he is today. I think he'll bounce back, but it might just take him a long time though.
I can't agree more on this, in most families, every burden is been placed on the first child making them to work tirelessly to meet up with everyone ones bill and I believe this is why alot of breadwinners don't get to enjoy their financial freedom
And truly, if only everyone in a family is findings ways to be financially stable then I believe the word broke will have no place in such home
I am sorry about your cousin, I pray he bounced back and stronger 💪
The ones on first born children can be very terrible, I'm talking from experience. In life, we'd always have people who do not want to work, or people who wants to be too dependent on others or people who are just taking advantage of the kindness of their brothers or sisters to be lazy. It's difficult because we cannot influence people to work or choose to be financially stable.
Omo!! As I dey read this he just dey pain me.
Yoruba people say one rich man among 20 poor people is also poor, I am sure if not for the responsibilities I have taken care of since university I would have been in a better now.
Families come with emotion and no matter how wicked you are they will always be part of your plan.
If not for all the commitments I've undertaken, I would own a car and be living comfortably and still have savings as well.
Family will always be part of the plan, but sometimes, rge expenses we undertake might ruin us if we do it too much without checking the how much we're willing to undertake.
Financial freedom is elusive for many. Even in a progressive country like South Korea, no one would ever believe to see old men and women roaming around churches every weekend lining up just to receive a thousand KRW or more. Seeing such a scenario made me reflect on what do these men and women do during their younger years. I don't want to suffer the same fate during my retirement years.
In progressive countries, I wouldn't expect it, but in countries without much progress and Sophistication like mine, I'll definitely be skeptical. I think people not choosing to better their financial situations even when they have the choice, freedom and power to do so is surprising and dissapointing.
I think mindset matters and education plays a significant role in having such kind of awareness.
!PIZZA
!CTP
You see... I call some people "kokoro ajenirun" meaning parasites. It is very dangerous to have family who depend on you when you are doing well financially and aren't considerate to also work to earn a living. I can relate to this scenario because it is something affecting my sister too. She has lots of responsibilities but only have a little to cater for herself. We even joked one day where she said she will stop picking our calls or block everyone for some time, I said this too because of how people kept billing us. Lol
So many times, she would beg us to start working and making money for ourselves so that we can support her with these responsibilities on her.
Once they see you are capable financially, poverty is a normal thing to them as long as they keep getting from you and till they milk you dry, they won't stop asking.
This is deadlier than anything else, my brother. I really feel for your cousin.
Well, I believe that poverty is not a norm and that is why I believe that if you work hard for money, you are surely going to make that money no matter how long it takes...
Poverty is not a norm here
It sucks to hear that your uncle refused to loan him some money but I don't blame him. Money is a hard issue to talk about and life has only gotten harder because wages can't keep up with the price increases. I hope your cousin manages to get past this and manages to get his business back on track.
$PIZZA slices delivered:
@rzc24-nftbbg(1/5) tipped @josediccus
I am the first child in my family
Although my father is earning well enough
Although I brought up like a prince but it has always been mentioned that this family is your responsibility
To raise standard and status,to economise family and to feed up younger than you
And it’s the thing that always worries me
It’s been become hard to earn much much more than your expense
What really caught my eyes was the quote about going broke one seems to be the only one working hard, this has ruined a lot of people actually and it has affected lot of promising lives when surrounded with people of entitled mentality.
Financial education is quite very important. many times, we don't know the things we think we know.