Doctors In The House.... I Think I Need Help Afterall.
It's been over 5 weeks of my ramblings, and I'm still doing it. I normally wouldn't do this but believe me, I want to stop, I just cannot. It's been ages since the last time I felt totally fine, (not medically, but mentally) I still feel this tightness in my chest and a lump in my throat, and it generally sucks the essence of living.
I know this is bad for me, I should move on for the sake of my mental health. However, living alone hasn't done any good for me. I sadly cannot find a way to shake this feeling and live my life. It's like being caught in a loop involuntarily, and I cannot leave despite how badly I want to.
I need help....sadly, even if I mostly think I can do this on my own. I want to go back to being me: unbothered by life, unfazed by challenges, and hopeful for tomorrow. One of my sources of hope is gone, and I cannot seem to troubleshoot my way out of this. Anytime I pick up my phone and open my notepad, it's all sad occurrences, pain, and trauma.
It's probably becoming tiring. It's like cycling through a maze and repeating an endless loop. It's becoming bothersome. I just can't seem to find a way, and recently I have begun to blame myself for a lot of other things.
A lot of people know the content I do, it's finance psychology, personal finance, and majorly crypto, these types of content have morphed into a personality that I have come to accept. A lot of people ask me on WhatsApp if I ever live a life of fun aside, from talking money. I never affirm or dismiss this, but people who have come to know my persona off Hive have always confessed that I'm an entirely different person. It's true, I hustle, I have fun, I joke, and comedy is a niche I've explored.
However, my life isn't completely rosy, I've once come out to talk about my health issues, my genetic disorders, my father and mother's biologically and psychologically failed marriage, and how it ended up forming a dysfunctional childhood for me and my late brother (only sibling). I do this to create a balance. I feel like talking about my tragic side might inspire someone... anyone, to know or feel that life can be terrible, and sweet at the same time, and we can live through the bad and good sides.
Two friends from Hive visited me about a week ago (I'll share the pictures and story when the time is right) and they saw me in tears, it was different for them. They probably saw me in a different light before they actually came to my house. I was that guy that cracks crazy jokes and everyone is rolling in laughter on WhatsApp. However, this version of me they saw, was melancholic. They probably couldn't say it, but it felt like I could read their mind. Before their arrival, I had been crying all day.
They brought gifts and food and all that, and I'll properly thank them someday. It's surreal to see me that way, even though I didn't think a day would come where I'd cry in bed all day, no matter the challenge I had, and believe me I've seen some terrible pain.
My body has been wired to take physical pain, but I guess I wasn't wired to lose my only sibling. Apparently, after every diagnosis, it would seem he had a cardiac arrest and got CPR too late. Plus, the cardiac arrest seemed to have been triggered by the medications he got for malaria, a sort of allergic reaction. My father had heart issues too, (they were all very healthy except me) and it seemed his cardiac arrest was triggered by the high blood pressure he refused to treat.
I'm beginning to get concerned if this isn't long QT syndrome or genetic arrhythmia. Apart from having sickle cell SC type, I feel okay most of the time. Although being anemic comes with a lot of symptoms like fatigue, tight chest, and all that, I'm considering going for echocardiogram, seeing a cardiologist or probably doing ECG, running some other blood test for cholesterol level and all that, to check my functionalities to rule out anything that has to do with a genetic heart defect (This might give me some closure, reassurance, allay my fears, or probably start a process of medication, which wouldn't be what I want but would be glad I started early)
Seeing a professional medical specialist in Nigeria is a hassle. The level of red tapism is crazy, and this bothers me. I wouldn't know if anyone is a cardiologist on hive based in Lagos Nigeria, maybe I can connect with them. I've never had any issue with seeing a hematologist, because I manage my anemia quite well, but I might still have to connect with one, after seeing a cardiologist. The process might be stressful which I don't want, and that's why I'm seeking a backdoor. If it was a bull market, I might have probably gone overseas for easier processes.
Yet, it's even expensive to run echo tests and all that, and that means I'll have to prepare some money. I intend to do these tests in January, and I want to keep taking the time to recover from the trauma of losing my only brother. I've never had any issue with my heart or showed any symptoms, but my my brother and father's case, I want to know if there is any genetic heart issue I should be worried about. Thank you all. Thank you all for the care and the responses throughout this period
Interested in some more of my works
Is it Easy To Make Money?
Nigeria: A Unique Business Market & Industry
Virtual Bank Apps In Nigeria: An Experience Of Gamification
How To Find The Next "BIG" Meme Coin
Personal Finance: Achieving Intentional "Saving" Goals
Playing The Survival Game: Human Nature In Introspection
"Un-PAYING" The Debt You Owe
Hello brother. God is your strength.
First, I'm glad you've thought of seeking help. You could run an ECG and ECHO in any available standard facility pending when you're connected to a cardiologist or preferably, family physician. I would make some calls to friends in Lagos to see where we can book one for you. I assume you'll prefer a private facility so you could have ample time to discuss your concerns and have the professional have adequate history from you. I'll keep in touch.
Plus, can I know the side of Lagos you are in?
Yes, I thought of running an echo and ECG firstly, but then I felt, how would I interprete the result. As for a cardiologist I want one I can always access as the problem of getting them in general hospitals her can be problematic.
Exactly. I don't have a family physician. My immediate physician is my aunt, but she's aged now. So yes, I'll be looking for such facility where I can do this.
Every part of Lagos is accessible to be. But I'm mostly accessible with that Agege/Ikeja axis.
Thank you so much for taking the effort to reply
God's willing tomorrow sir, would feed you back
Alright, I'll be expecting. It's a crazy procedure with getting a cardiologist in a general hospital, and for my physical and mental health I don't want this. Maybe run the test first then have the professionals to interpret it.
Plus would you have any idea how much they cost?
Would try to get those details across soon, I understand.
Quality Healthcare in Nigeria is a hassle as it is expensive
Okay, thank you. And if you're active on discord, then maybe I'll text you, then go WhatsApp.
Yes, I am available on discord with same username sir
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Thank you.
I want to say something. A lot of things, but I keep clearing off the words I type. I don't know why, but I do commend you for this step you are to take.
Although getting a good doctor in Nigeria isn't easy, I don't know what you think of Ibadan. I think @jaydr may be of help.
I hope you get the help you need soon so we can know what's next.
Ibandan is quite far, and I'm as well running away because of the distance and the stress, but I'm grateful. I'm sure I'll be able to work something out in this Lagos.
Alright, no problem. I hope he can help find someone in Lagos for ya. Take good care of yourself.
very sorry for your loss friend, I guest your over thinking may contribute a lot. You just have to let go. Though its isn't easy, you have to live and stay happy for him. If you had an opportunity to talk with your late brother do you think he would encourage you to stay in depression? I don't think so. You have yo open a new door and create the happiness. It may help to reduce health issues.
Well, it's not like I don't want to, I just don't think I can, it's nearly impossible for me. I just don't why. It's too hard
Nothing is impossible, try and get out of it, you need it.
Wao!!! I sometimes think about these things, mostly those that make people happy finds it hard to get happiness which is not meant to happen..This is so sad and I really feel for you brother.. it's not easy when the burden of two or more people becomes one person responsible and you tend to fight by all means to make sure you conquer.. I pray may the good lord you trust in revive you and make all the bend ways straight for you and may you always find peace of mind in all your ways.. Take things easy on yourself brother you still have a long way ahead of you...
Thank you for your prayers, I'll take it as you've said.
You are welcome my bro, just take that cus life is full of challenges and the more we solve one, the more bigger ones we get to solve. That's why we just have to take things easy.
I fee you need to go out and have fun. Talk to friends if you have. Make sure that you stay away from being bored. Pray to God to console you. Things like that sha
It's more of a health concern now
Medical expenses are always expensive. I don't think it changes even if you were in the US. I hope you are able to get over it and get those checks. I hope there aren't any major issues and that you recover soon.
I'm trying to check that. If I had the money, the US will be my first option by all means. But I'll have to check myself to see any diagnosis whatsoever.
Oh .. I m very sorry to hear this, and thanks to @balikis95 who brought it to my attention, I also see that @jjmusa2004 is working something out. It's never an issue to get a private Cardiologist anywhere in Nigeria, it's just the public sector that mostly has those hassles and the reasons are obvious.
I ll talk with JJ to know how it goes and if we need more options, we can find out some good hands for you even in Lagos. I have worked in some hospitals in that locale as well (Agege/College Rd) and can help with some contacts.
Once again, my condolences.
God is with you. You ll be fine.
Thanks for being online. This means a lot. I hope everything gets to work out soon.
Amen and Amen
Amen 🙏 🙏
Thank you brother
Yeah, I'm looking to workout solution as I don't want to go for public sector cardiologist, they might just end up stressing me. They were my first option because it might be cheaper, but as it is, I'll just have to look forward. around Agege, Ogba is my axis as those places are more accessible to me. If I can get a private cardiologist that would not be so expensive as well as run the tests on their guidance, then I'll be grateful. Thank you for replying
Oh, I wish this came up just two days ago, I was at Ogba. I would have found a way to see you. Nevertheless, I ve tried reaching out to you on discord, not sure if you ve seen it. JJ as well.
Well the cardiologist are the same, the mostly get those specialists from the public space incited to see patients of private Hospital, except for those who are mostly into Privates Specialty Clinics.
But I m sure we ll find you one.
Being in the state you are now comes with a lot of worries, I'm glad you're much outspoken, seeking help and trying to know if actually there's a problem you need to tackle. It's shows that you really want to live, you want to pass this stage and move on, and for falling back again, it's normal, it might seem like a force is keeping you within that loop. It's normal seeing the kind of attachment you had with your brother.
just keep doing it bro. You have to just keep trying, whatever step you need to take.
I have very fine cardiologist around my school teaching hospital, but it's Enugu State and it's a teaching hospital, everything different from what you desire, going with someone more easily assesible will be much better. God's grace Man, you'll be fine soon, I pray so.
Ahh oh my! I wish it was in Lagos, it'll be better accessible to me. Teaching hospitals are better, but then in Lagos here it's difficult to get care unless you have connections with some personnels in the hospital. Thank you for the assistance and taking the time to respond. I've gotten some response and I'll be hoping I can work something out soon enough. Thank you so much
You're welcome bro
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Hi Joe, good morning...I read this post half way yesterday before I had an emergency call and I couldn't read to the end..
I am here now! How are you doing today? I want to believe you feel better. Seeking for a medical help at this point of your life is simply an amazing thought and I must commend you on this. The bull market is not here yet otherwise going abroad would have been a nice suggestion, however, I believe there are still nice cardiologist in Lagos state. I don't have any contact here in Lagos but I have used luth hospital alot and I am hoping that you may find a good one over there
Those two Hivers who visited you yesterday, may God reward them... and I pray you gradually come back to that your old self, full of nice vibes including comedy 🤗
Well, think you. I just want to get some clarifications, and if anything maybe do the necessary things. I know about luth but I don't think I have the mental capacity to go through the stress of luth and all that. I just want a straight forward assessment and a cardiologist to guide me through what should be done.
Seeking for another doctor for my main health concern, that'll be a something I plan to do later as it isn't an emergency.
I just don't think I have the energy for stress.
As for the people who visited me, it's been over 9 days now. I just decided to acknowledge them in this post, not sure they'll see it as they're not currently too active.
Thank you for your kind words. It's been too tough to handle.
Peace brothers,
I am sure the community actions will grately contribute to assist in your research and deeper understanding of your unanswered medical interrogations.
Have a good day brother
Regards from Benin Republic