A Redefined Life Of Solitary
Loss is an inconvenient but potent teacher, it opens your eyes to the realities that you've been blind to, either through sheer ignorance or inexperience. When I say "loss", I'm generalizing, because losing what belongs, relates, or pertains to you, especially if the affiliation with what you've lost comes from a place of hustle.
I can categorically talk about loss, because there's almost nothing I haven't lost, and from my standpoint of view, the most dangerous aspect of losing is the mindset that you incur after undergoing loss.
The shift away from normalcy
.....the inability to see the essence in moving on, or the strength to begin to try again. Trying again, or the need to try again is the most important thing in life. We're naturally gifted to make recoveries when life hits hard. I've seen people who lost their businesses and had to start from scratch. People who worked so hard and yet failed when it mattered the most.
We often tap into the stories of those who have manifested doggedness against all odds, but the truth is that motivation is mostly a bandaid when the most delicate and structural aspect of our minds has been scared by the impact of loss.
This is how I mostly see myself these days. Although I've been working really hard to pick my life up from the tethers, I experience periods of anxiety, fear, and a burst of old memories, and it feels like I'm back at square one. My thoughts are quite dissimilar from what they used to be and this is because I'm beginning to take note of things I really didn't see in the past.
I think I'm extra sensitive these days, I'm blaming it on the pain, but the truth is that the only way we can truly see life is by living, or seeing it from the viewpoint of pain.
This might sound negative, but the truth is, that we only begin to see life clearly when we're bereaved or have nothing to offer. The best time to clearly see is when you're not eschewing any value. Most people live in life's bubbles, they believe they have the best support system or the best of friends, but you're truly able to know the true state of your reality when you're at a period when your life feels meaningless.
That said, I've learned a lot in close to 5 weeks
from leading a solitary life which has come as a result of constantly grieving. Maybe it's just me being super sensitive, but the only way you can see life is by living or walking the sensitive path.
For a person who overthinks, I think being a product of that particular mindset isn't so bad, because life is bigger than our expectations; it eclipses the average things we desire and this is why it isn't so bad to be an unconventional thinker.
Normalcy wasn't a thing for me in the past, but over time I learned how to conform to it, these past few months, I've gradually drifted away from that "persona" into what I currently am. I'd blame it on loss and loss alone, but one thing about life is that when one of your senses is taken away when you lose the ability to "feel" in one aspect of your life, another sense activates and becomes supersensitive.
I don't want to say I'm paranoid.
I just think I'm beginning to see life with magnified binoculars; seeing people without their clothes on, (figuratively) seeing them without their shades, or even without their seeing through what they originally are. I've asked myself a lot of questions and I've gotten a lot of answers, and it's saddening. Anyway, I'm being prayerful about my situation, I'm meditating more and seeking spiritual sustenance.
I want to take a break from what and who I was, to try a lead a more observative and focused life, living in the shadows, focusing more on self, and trying to redact the most obvious part of my life. This is because I have learned a lot. I'm trying to reschuffle the pack, let go of some undeserved commitments, and prioritize more self-care. It's sadly the end of a different era, but it's alright, people evolve when they pass through things.
Once again, I'm grateful to those who have made it a duty to follow my journey of recovery thus far, it's been a long road.
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This is indeed a huge opportunity for you to evolve. I just hope that you get back to socializing again, in time. Humans are not meant to isolate themselves, we are social creatures, even though we sometimes need a lot of alone time ( and I myself know all about that ).
It is a blessing that you have Hive to stay connected and as free therapy.
Sending a hug
It is indeed an opportunity, a sort of one that is tragic, but evolution is evolution, irrespective of what propels it. I don't really see myself socializing in a very long time. This is because I feel betrayed by those I was really endeared to. The lesson I learned is that one's alone afterall. So I really see no essence anymore. I hope it's the pain talking, but I'm glad to have hive and you all.
I get it. Sounds like you don't have the right people around you, out there.
Luckily you have your Hive friends and connections, on here.
And yeah, I think it is the pain talking. Things will get better over time. You just need more time to heal and logically so.
Take care!
I sincerely thought I did, we shared good times, money, fun times and all, but it's bizarre I get to share my pain time alone. But I guess it's the place you put them, the level of esteem you give them that makes it hurt the most. But, it's another lesson learned.... I'm focusing on how I'd thrive now, but essentially it's an eyeopener for me, I was wrong all these while
As long as you don't isolate to punish yourself. Sounds like you need it, right now ( temporarily ). Keep following your intuition, listen to your gut feeling.
Thank you, temporarily, I need to figure out a lot. I'm certain it's what I need.
Thank God you're coping and I pray you continue to receive strength and comfort.
Times of grief are usually associated with arrays of thoughts, some wandering but most erratic and a few chaotic. Sometimes pushing us to make some U-turns on how life is viewed. You have said it all, life can only be viewed when living. Decisions as demanding as they come, recovering before making those decisions are equally vital because a clear mind reveals better the path to life.
I wish you a swift and more defined view of life and its path
Mine has been full of grief and chaotic, but I've come to learn, I've learned so much about commitment, pain and life, so I'll let it lead me going forward. Thanks a million
You're welcome brother
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STOPIt is really difficult to find a way out during this period of enormous social and economical troubles.
I share positivity and inspire others to manifest their potential.
Peace
Thank you
!PIZZA
yes, pain can be a teacher though its not always fun.
You seem to be a bit like me. When I was by myself, I used to spend at least 2 hours daily on edx.org. Check it out, it is quite good to spend extra time, and you can learn new skills.
Also, if you can learn the difference between solitude and loneliness, this is quite powerful stuff to help you build yourself.
Good luck.
Thank you
Solitude can bring about profound realisations on the journey to recovery. Some aspects of evolution can only happen through solitude, in which we re-emerge with a different perspective(s) and set of beliefs. I pray the outcome of this journey to become more than you wished for, in a very good way :)
I hope to undergo this journey as well. I think I haven't really been intentional about so many aspects of my life and to be very honest, losing my brother has taken the air out of me. I want to try as much as possible to live different now, seeking a different path. I hope this journey will heal
Indeed. Seeking a different path and being intentional about it, might be the thing you need to heal and rediscover yourself. Some situations can be a blessing in disguise seen from a particular perspective.
Talking about this will help you to feel better. I'm glad you're gradually coming back and you'd be back stronger
That's for sure!
I am glad that you are recovering over time. It will take some time to get over that and I hope that your recovery journey goes well.
Thank you, I hope it goes well too, because it's been very hard for me, and it's taking a long stretch.
!discovery 25
Thank you
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Loss is equivalent to pain and pain is equivalent to loss. Pain has a good part and a bad part. I think the bad part is the temporary discomfort we feel that is if our pain or loss doesn't deform us. The good part is the lessons, to desist, to re-strategise, to place more value or less value on, to look at life from a different perspective, to see the truth in people and things. It's all in the good part because we come to discover more about life and ourselves and make necessary readjustments.
I know you're gonna be fine cos you're experiencing the good part @josediccus 🤝
Thank you, I'm thankful
$PIZZA slices delivered:
@oadissin(4/15) tipped @josediccus