A Single Mom’s Confession: The Guilt behind Every ‘Later, dear’ to my Toddler’s ‘Mommy, look!’

Hello to the wonderful people of @Motherhood Community! I hope you’re doing well. Here I am again sharing my emotional tug-of-war as a single mom.

Behind every gentle 'Later, dear' lies a storm of silent guilt—a quiet struggle only a single mother knows, torn between responsibilities and the small, precious moments that slip away too fast. My son is in his fast developmental stage as a toddler, and he is exploring and discovering a lot of things that most of the time amaze him. Every time he finds something new or does something amazing, he always turns to me and says, ‘Mommy, look!’ The look in his eyes shows great excitement and enthusiasm to show me something precious and awesome. His tone of voice sounds like it is something I must not miss.

But I must confess that sometimes it irritates me when he calls me amidst my deep concentration on doing my stuff. I am a work-from-home mom and as a freelancer, every day is like a chase to new opportunities that I hope will give me more chances to earn for my son’s and my family’s needs. I never realized that my son doesn’t understand any of that. All he sees is his mom—his whole world—too busy to look at the drawing he made, the dance he learned, or the toy he’s proud of. In his little eyes, every 'just a moment' feels like a quiet rejection, and it breaks my heart to know that my love, though constant, sometimes feels out of reach to him.

There was even a time that he cried for my attention, but I never looked at him because I had deadlines to beat. And after I finished working on my laptop, I saw him sleeping all alone in the room with his toys and his favorite JJ doll, most probably he fell asleep in tears, waiting for me. I also noticed that I didn’t even get around to washing his JJ doll since I was too busy chasing opportunities to earn. I just broke down into silent tears seeing him sleeping soundly. I wish I could be a better mom.

And here’s my realization. I should have been more patient in those times when my son was showing me something he thought was amazing. And now that it’s not too late, I have to pay attention to his every ‘mommy, look!’ because I realized that in this moment, he is inviting me into his world – his joy, his curiosity, and discovery. For him, it’s not just a toy or a drawing; it’s a moment of connection, a chance to be seen, heard, and valued by the person he trusts most, and that’s me.

I realized that when I respond with genuine attention to him, it’s an affirmation for him that he matters to me, helping him build his self-esteem, emotional security, and sense of importance in the world.

I also realized that this stage of his innocent moments will be gone soon, before I could even have the chance to truly take it in. How could I say he is my world when even looking at his little joys, his eager eyes, or his excited discoveries sometimes takes second place to my endless to-do list? Guilt seems to consume me again. I feel sorry for my little, innocent darling. May he forgive me and give me another chance to be a better mom to him.

Thanks for taking the time to read my story. I welcome your thoughts and well wishes.

(I hereby attest that this article is made by me without any aid of AI or grammar editing apps and the photos attached are mine; that I fully understand and adhere to Hive policies and guidelines in posting; and that I won’t be violating any of these rules for my future posts.) Photos are mine, the banner photo was edited in Canva.