Motherhood: I'm Not A Mother, But I Feel Like One

27 November 2025

I grew up in a big family, so I witnessed how my mother struggled throughout the years, especially in her solo journeys when our father was away to make a living to support us financially. So, I always thought, stepping into motherhood isn't what I like to do. It's not that I'm not capable of it, it's just, I don't like to add more responsibilities because I have dreams in life. But then, life is funny. I keep escaping from having more responsibilities; however, I am still given roles I don't want to have. That came through being an auntie.

Ever since I came home from working abroad, I have found myself doing things I didn't want to do before, but still keep on doing because I love them. From the moment I became close to my niece, who's living with us at home, I wasn't just a "tita," I became the extra pair of hands when her mom needed a break, and someone she would run to when she wanted a playmate.

She became spoiled in my care more than in her mom's. So, whenever her mom reprimands her or she can't get what she wants, she comes to me. I bet she can feel that I couldn't resist her charm, especially when I hear the lines "momita, please" with her begging eyes and her hands resting gently together. Just imagine that!

I babysit her with patience, sometimes with chaos (like my room is always so messy whenever she likes playing with me), but always with love, just like how I babysat her mom and my other younger siblings when they were just kids.

There were days that I liked teasing her because of her personality; she easily gets annoyed (in a funny way), but she easily laughs. We call her best actress because she knows how to act, just to get what she wants, and crying is her defense mechanism when we're reprimanding her. She likes drawing, storytelling, and singing. If you're following me on Facebook, you would see that some of my posts are about her singing and doing funny things.

You can't tell her what to do, but she would tell you what to do. Funny it is! She's only three years old, but sometimes, she talks like an adult. She's impatient, and you can't teach her, but she easily learns in her own way. She's a smart little lad. So, most of the time, we let her do what she wants, of course, with our guidance.

Recently, Children's Day was held, and she's part of it. I was as excited as her mom preparing things she needed for that day. It was the first program she attended. Despite having work to do online, I spent my break time making her props and costume, because her mom was attending our shop.

On the day of the event, I fixed her hair and dressed her up. I felt like a real mother doing so. As much as I wanted to go with them to watch her performance, I couldn't, because of my job and our shop that needed someone to attend to.

All I did was watch her videos where she performed humorously on stage, but still too cute. She has a sense of humor, I should add that.

_{She was the frontline, but she was everywhere, lol.}

Being an auntie taught me that motherhood isn't only defined by giving birth. Sometimes, it is found by doing things like brushing her hair, preparing her snacks, dressing her up, listening to her stories, or being the person to praise her messy and funny drawings. I'm not a mother, but doing these things, I feel like one.

Some people would tell me, Why don't you get married?. I would just answer, Nah, I already have nieces and nephews. 😄 My former employer once told me, You should get married, you will become a good mother. I just smiled at her.

If there's one thing I have learned, "We don't have to give birth to a child to become a mother. Our nieces and nephews, who make our hearts fuller, make us feel like a real one."

Thanks for your time.