5 minute freewrite 2743 prompt dependence

This is my post for #freewriters 2743 prompt dependence hosted by @mariannewest

Sometimes I am amazed how the prompt for the day can match what is going on in my life.

I saw my pain management doctor today, well not the one who I have been seeing for the last thirty years. He was on vacation. This was a woman and I told her about my depression and how I have lost my appetite and I am down to 85 pounds. I also told her about me taking the edibles but doc made me stop because of the THC in them. I said I bought the CBD ones like he said and they do not help with my appetite like the others did, they also do nothing for the depression but they did make me feel not as tight, it was like they relaxed my muscles in my back.

I said I have been on this same medicine for 30 years and it does not seem to work as well as it used to work. I do not want to go on stronger meds because I think they are causing my problems, and she agreed. Then she shocked me, she asked if I was willing to try medical marijuana. That is something my regular doctor would never do, he is 100% against it. I hope she does not get in trouble with him for suggesting it.

She said would I be willing to get off of the pain meds, she told me she has had several people get off them and go to medical marijuana products, she said the edibles are stronger than the kind I can buy over the counter. I said after being on these meds for this long, I am willing to give it a try but how can I stop the addiction to the meds. She told me I was not addicted, I had a dependence on them, there is a difference. I would be abusing them if I was addicted.

She said she will prescribe a lower dose of the fentanyl patch first, and wean me from it and then we can work on getting off the Percocet's. I am a little scared because my pain is real and the edibles I was eating did not take the pain away, but I am going to do my best to get off them, I can not keep losing weight. She also told be to try and eat more smaller meals a day. How do you eat when you are not hungry, but I will give it a try.

She wants me to go ahead now and find a doctor who prescribes it, but I can not use it until I get off the other meds.

When I was on the west coast with my daughter, we were at a Farmer's Market where there was a CBD product tent. I spoke with the woman running it about how my doctor would not let me take anything with THC and she asked if I have tried Kratom, I had not. She gave me these two and said try them for the pain. I did not take them because I wanted to show it to my doc first. This doctor said no, do not take it, maybe I will try them after I get off the meds. At 38 dollars for six, they have to do something. I could not afford to buy it at this price, but since I have these two, I am curious.
photos are mine