Filial piety should come from a heart of love and willingness.

No doubt, our parents are the channels through which we came into this world. The nurturing, care and guidance that we need before we could live life on our own also came from our parents. But is this fact alone reason enough to hold children to a forced filial piety? Or should children just go about living their lives without regarding their parent’s welfare?

Truly, this is a controversial topic to discuss because we have different cultural heritage and upbringing.

A child born to a large family, who grows up watching his older siblings bringing back monthly remuneration and gifts to his parents, would automatically be grafted into that system of bringing in returns to his parents when he is also older. He has no choice because he saw others do it and it became his template.

What is worse is that if he fails to follow suit like his older siblings in bringing gifts or money back, he is branded as an unfilial and wicked son to his parents. This culture cares not whether the boy in question is actually doing well or he is struggling. All they know is that ”since we gave birth to him and nurtured him to this level, he must do this in return”.

And here comes my million dollar question—Is there any amount given to parents that can pay for the years of care and nurturing spent on a child?

Personally, I believe that there's no amount that can pay for the blood lost in the labour room during childbirth or the sleepless nights spent raising that baby, tolerating his tantrums and his teenage exuberance until he becomes an adult.

So demanding that a child brings back money or gifts to the parents is simply Black taxation and it is not cool because the child was in heaven relaxing with the angels. It was the parents that solved bedroom maths that resulted in the baby being born on Earth. The child never wrote a letter requesting to be born in the first place.

In this light, what then should be done. A wise man once wrote…

”A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children”_ (Proverbs).

What I would prescribe in response to this prompt is balance. Children who understand their parents' sacrifice and value it, willingly do their best for their parents. They also honour their parents in all that is good but they don't lose themselves in the process.

Some parents threaten their children with their lives simply to get them to agree to an arranged marriage, without a care for the children's feelings. Failure to comply with their parents wishes, these children are labelled as selfish and wicked.

I am all in for helping out our parents with money or gifts or anything at all that makes them happy and meets their needs.

I am also all in for honouring our parents and treating them with respect but if honouring my parents translates to me losing myself or doing something that defiles my core values, then that is a no for me. Neither would I steal or marry a rich billionaire old enough to be my grandpa because I want to please my parents.

---

As a parent myself, I love my child too much. So I won't make unnecessary demands from my child that would hurt her.

I would rather do my best to give her a solid footing in life while at the same time ensuring that I also have something to fall back on, so that I wouldn't need to make endless demanding calls.

Parenthood is dying so that a new life exist.

If the mindset about having kids is simply as bargaining chips in the future, then such a parent has already defeated the purpose of Parenthood.

I rest my pen ✍️. I would love to invite @rukkie, @luchyl, @faithwellington, @patienceakpan and @ellizy to come share their views on the prompt.

---

Thanks for reading.

Images used are mine.

---