Single or double; Does it matter?

Parents play an important role in the lives of their child or children. Both the father and the mother have their individual responsibilities they must fulfill in the life or lives of the children. When one is absent, there is a void in such family, though the other one claims to fill the void, then it cannot be compared if the duty is taken by the one who is expected to. In this case, I would like to sit on the fence because it can turn out to be good or bad. I have seen a case where a single mother singlehandedly raised three children, and none of them was wayward; they all grew to be the talk of the town in a positive way. Likewise, I've seen a situation where a single mother could not raise a child properly.

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In these two cases, would we say the absence of the father made her raise them good or bad? Having both parents in a child's life is of great importance if I might say from my experience. A complete family setting has a positive impact on the psychology of such a child. Even if I'm not raised by a single parent, I've watched it in home movies where such a child goes through bullying or disrespect for having a single parent, which can affect the mental health of a child if not well taken care of. Being raised by a single parent comes with lots of misconceptions. People assume what they think might have been the problem without fully understanding why the situation was like that, and then they act on what they think is going on, feeding the innocent child with words that can have a bad effect on his or her life.

Like I always say, upbringing is a very important duty parents shouldn't take with levity. I always ask this question anytime I'm opportune to be in a marriage or relationship program, "the man or woman who you desire to be your wife or husband, are you seeing your children in him or her? Do you want your children to be like your husband or wife?". A genuine answer is needed to this question; if one can't answer this question affirmatively, then the upbringing of children from such families will be a bit rough. While growing up, my dad traveled a lot, leaving us with our mom, though we always preferred when mom traveled because she was more rigid than dad. No one dares misbehaves with my mom not to think of my dad. There is confidence that even if he's not around, his wife can take good care of the home.

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Upbringing matters a lot because if the husband or wife is the type that doesn't care so much about the home if one of the parents is absent, especially when it's the one that gets things done in the home, the lives of such children will surely be in jeopardy. Irrespective of the parents, upbringing is what matters the most, if you marry someone who doesn't know the value of family, don't expect a perfect mother or father for your children. Recently, one of Nigeria's actresses got her daughter married to a Tanzanian, and there was a loud noise on social media, people asking why the father of the child was not present at the wedding ceremony. Some gave their opinions as to why the man wasn't present, while some supported the actress for singlehandedly raising her children to become successful giving no credit to the man because they believed he wasn't present in the lives of his children. True story not known to anyone but then we all knew her to be a single parent right from these children's childhood. Whether their father was present in their lives or not, it was not open to the public, but the thing of joy there was she raised the children all by herself, and they are doing well for themselves.

One of my cousins was raised by her father only, and she is a medical doctor today; she didn't turn wayward because it was her father who raised her. People always believed children raised by a single parent cannot make it in life, the best reason known to them. The personality and capability of the single parent define the outcome of the child or children from such source which means the parent must be physically, emotionally, psychologically, and financially mature to take the responsibility of single parenting and must be ready to go outside his or her comfort zone to train the child or children in a way that will bring peace to him or herself and the society at large.

Thanks for your time, and your comments will be appreciated.

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