𝕄𝕪 𝕞𝕠𝕤𝕥 𝕙𝕠𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕗𝕚𝕔 𝕖𝕩𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖.

It is strange how we try so hard to keep ourselves alive but if only we knew we have little or no control of how our end comes. mankind has built numerous walls and formulated various protective measures but it seems to only delay the inevitable. Once in awhile we find ourselves in situation beyond our control, sometimes we get lucky and sometimes we don't. regardless of which it is, the memory sticks. Looking at this week prompt, I'm a little horrified by the memories that comes with it. I have always believed that if eventually I meet my end some day, it wouldn't be me that endangered myself but that is just crap.

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October 8 2020 it was when the whole endsars protest started, I could remember it like it was yesterday because October is my birth month and the protest began fully a day before my birthday. I remember how worried I was about the whole birthday celebration looking at how things are.

_{A picture of me at Duncan maritime limited, 3 years ago}

At that time, I was doing a job or should I say jobs, after leaving Lagos traffic radio, I had the opportunity to work in two different company, I was a risk management officer and storekeeper at Duncan maritime limited which is located at Adeniyi Jones and also I was working at olukunle ibiloye and Co. at opebi, as a PA to the boss, he is an auditor and he is barely around, he travels a lot. since my job as a risk management officer is one day off and one day on, I use my off days to work for Mr ibiloye as his PA. the whole process was stressful but manageable.

_{A picture of in front of my apartment at Opebi estate, 3 years ago}

I had an apartment in opebi estate, few blocks away from Mr ibiloyes' office and passing through Allen avenue, I could quickly get to my second job without taking a cab or bike. During the endsars protest, there were a lot of road blocks and it was affecting the employees of both companies. the management adviced the employees to work from home to prevent endangering their lives. with both companies closed, though it didn't happen the same day, that means I have no reason to go to work, so I just stayed at my apartment at Opebi estate. I was planning on traveling to ikorodu where my family house is located but my dad did not buy the idea, he felt it was too risky to embark on such journey, knowing how protected opebi estate is, he said I should stay at opebi and see how the whole protest goes.

The whole protest continued till October 20 2020, when hell finally break loose, in the night of October 20 2020, the Lekki massacre happened, making everywhere extremely chaotic. on October 21 2020 a curfew was announced to reduce the rate at which angry protesters and hoodlums were vandalising government properties in retaliation for the Lekki massacre. everywhere became dry like a ghost town, anyone found outside is at risk of being arrested by law enforcement agents but that didn't stop people from burning tyres on the street and main roads. on that same day, lag bus park at Ojota was set on fire, which is just few miles from opebi, we could see the smoke from a distance so we knew what was going on.

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It became so scary that we could not step outside to get food, apart from the things available within opebi estate but most shops didn't open due to fear of vandalism. this whole situation is something I did not really prepare for, so I didn't have much food stuff at home, on October 24 2020 which was Saturday, everything seems to be dying down a little in opebi, though the curfew has not been lifted. I was starving that morning so I decided to step outside to buy food after seeing others going to that specific restaurant to buy food.

My neighbours daughter saw me going outside and she wanted to tag along, she was just 6 years old as at then but she has a very small stature, her name is kemi. knowing how unsafe it was outside, I declined her request but she wouldn't listen. on normal days she was fond of following me around, I carry her on my shoulders especially when I'm going to Spar shopping mall to buy somethings but how do I explain to her that today is different because she doesn't seem to understand what is going on outside. her mother knew the reason why I was hesitating, she tried talking some sense into her head but she wouldn't listen, she wanted to beat her but in order to prevent that I stopped her and decided to take her along, I guess she was bored of staying at home all day which seems to be our new reality. At that moment I felt what could possibly go wrong.

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We stepped outside the estate, she was sitting on my shoulder as usual, we crossed over to Allen/opebi road heading to Allen avenue roundabout, we trekked because there was no bike or cab due to the curfew, we were few blocks away from our destination, when we heard gun shots coming from Allen avenue, I guess there was some kind of clash between police men and boys around there. We saw people running towards us and the police pick up car moving towards us but what I noticed was they were not putting on police uniform, they all put on Ankara, so I knew it was an unsanctioned raid.

Kemi could not run as fast as me, she was just a kid, I had to carry her and run as fast as I could. while running I noticed something about her, she wasn't breathing properly, so I quickly branched into a street called IREWOLE, a shortcut leading to opebi estate. there I was able to see a place to hide to attend to her, I didn't know if she had any underlying health condition but I thought it was panic attack, I tried to calm her down by talking her, she could not reply me but instead she started crying, she tried saying somethings but I couldn't hear her, all she could do is hold my arm firmly and cry. I was so confused.

I didn't have anything on me or water I could give to her, the only choice I had left was to run down to opebi estate which is just few blocks away, I put my hand on her mouth to prevent sobbing sound from attracting any attention and I also try not to squeeze too hard because she also needs to breathe with her mouth so I wouldn't suffocate her. on getting to the end of IREWOLE street, I have to cross to the other side to get to opebi estate, it was just right in front of me but I couldn't cross over, the police van was in the middle, opebi estate gate was shut and I couldn't risk exposure so I hid behind a pole but I couldn't stay there because the child I'm carrying her manner of breathing really scares me and I don't know how long she will last without medical attention.

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As soon as I noticed the police van moved a little, I couldn't risk waiting a minute longer, I hurriedly crossed the road getting to opebi estate, the police men noticed me, I heard "hey stop there, come here" but I didn't listen I just kept knocking the estate gate, the security man standing at the other side of the gate saw me through the gap in the gate, he knew me, so he hurriedly opened the gate, out of annoyance of not answering them, the police men fired a shot immediately I passed through the gate, the bullet hit the gate pole, I don't know if the gun was aimed at me or it was a warning shot but I knew if I was a minute slower the case would have been different.

the gun shot was so loud, especially the bullet that went through the gate pole, the metal made a sharp sound, I was deaf for some minute I could not hear anything, that was the first time hearing a gun shot that close, when I opened my arm to check on Kemi, her eyes was closed, she was barely breathing but I could still feel her heart beat, I don't know if it was the gun shot sound that affected her too, at that moment I could feel tears roll down my face and my feet and hands became very cold.

I ran into the compound, her mum stays in the second floor of the building. getting to the stairs, I couldn't not feel my legs anymore, I was climbing with both my feet and my hands. I saw her mum in front of her apartment, i guess she was already waiting for me, looking at her daughter lying on my chest almost lifeless, she opened the door and we both went into the sitting room, I sat her down on the couch while the mom ran inside and brought something that looks like an inhaler with other medications and water. that was when I realised Kemi was asthmatic, it was asthmatic attack I mistook for a panic attack. she was given the inhaler and also drank some water to quench her thirst. She regained consciousness and started breathing properly but she was still unable to move that much. she was moved to her bed where she slept throughout the day.

After Kemi case was settled, that was when I noticed I was bleeding, I must have sustained the injury while running but I didn't notice, it was just a scratch, a flesh wound. I had to move to my apartment to take care for myself, I did not want her to know about my injury because at that moment Kemi Mom had a lot to worry about, she looked so terrified, I guess that is what it means to be a parent. I got to my apartment cleaned up the wound, drank some water and slept off. I don't remember eating anything that day because it didn't matter, I was just glad me and the kid made it back home alive and in one piece.

I woke up in the midnight, I ate the remaining cornflakes I had at home, I tried to get some sleep but I couldn't. different thoughts running through my mind, I had no control over mind. I had to calm myself the only way I could which is by writing a poem, it has always been the only way I could express my thoughts in times like that, that was when I wrote a poem titled My country. the next day I could not summon the courage to go outside, I just went to visit Kemi, immediately her Mom opened the door I saw her running towards me but she was still weak, she has not fully recovered from the incident.

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When the whole crises died down, about 4 days after, I finally stepped outside and moved towards the gate, I saw the bullet mark on the gate pole and all I could think of is "It could have been me, I could have died" but I guess it wasn't my time yet. A complaint was filed against AREA F COMMAND because that was the name written on the police pick up car but they denied the incident and claimed it was not their operatives, no one was held accountable for the incident. I have not spoken of the incident ever since then, not even on my blog, the thought of it was just too traumatic.

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_{All pictures are mine or else indicated otherwise}

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_{This write-up was inspired by weekly featured content titled "Terrifying Tale" in hive learners community.}

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