Anxiety Is Human...

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Omo… anxiety has been doing a number on so many people. At this point, it’s basically impossible to avoid it these days with so many things going wrong at the same time. When you think you’ve got a situation under your control, one thing or the other happens and knocks the control right out of balance. Then, you find yourself scrambling, trying to figure out where the hell you are and what you’re doing.

Anxiety is no fun at all, no matter how you look at it. Hell, it can even make you fall ill. Giving you headaches and causing you to develop a fever. You’d think you’re coming down with the flu or with malaria, when in reality, you’re just thinking bad thoughts over and over again.

So, for me, what’s my major cause of anxiety today? Well, I can say that this country Nigeria, is a major source of premium anxiety. You can’t help it. Insecurity, rising cost of living, and having to deal with harassment from law enforcement agencies. When you don’t have money, you would be anxious, but when you do have money, you’d still be anxious. No rest at all.

But then, all those happen to just about everyone who lives in this country. The one unique to me though, is just my work life. I’ve been planning on making a major shift career-wise, wanting to do something else. Trying to find a way to grow, not just in writing, but in the tech-driven space. And that is something that I’ve been working hard towards.

But then, it hasn’t been easy. Learning the course is only the first step. Getting the experience is also a factor, but I’m not letting that stop me or weigh me down. While the course itself is taking longer than I expected it to, and the pace at which I’m moving is not really encouraging, I know that I can still do better.

Having all the tools for all these is just one thing, but can I actually use them? The cost of day-to-day living is so high these days, and I can barely keep up. The power in my area is somewhat epileptic, there is no pattern to it at all. So we can have light for the entire day today, but for the next four days, we won’t get light. When they do bring it back, it could be only for an hour. And then we won’t see it again for another three days. The next time it comes, it could only be for five minutes, scattered over the course of the day.

No pattern at all. Is this the kind of light a remote worker would use to work? If you rely on them, won’t your clients leave you and run? So, having to buy petrol all the damn time to power my devices is a major issue. One that doesn’t stop messing with my mind. Especially with the fact that it’s so damn expensive. Not to include the data that I used to work with as well. This is even worse because it’s expensive, but once in a while, it also misbehaves.

But the network is not as bad as it was in my former area, so I guess that is an improvement. The truth is, when doing things and venturing into something new, there will always be anxiety. There will always be questions that need answers, but I’ve learned that those questions don’t always need answers. This career shift that I’m working on didn’t come without questions, many of them that I still have no response to yet.

But at the moment, I know what I want and I’m going directly for it. That’s it. I know that it’s scary, and if I allow the thoughts to take hold, then they will drain me and stop me from pursuing what I want. I can’t allow that.

So, my dear friends, while anxiety is a natural thing for humans, it doesn’t mean we have to entertain it. I do my best to make sure that it doesn’t really affect me. Because I need my mind to be clear and clean for what is to come. That is very important.

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_{Thank you for reading. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below, I would love to know what you’re thinking. Till we meet in the next post.}

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_{This post is inspired by the first topic of this week which is Anxiety. Feel free to try it out.}

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_{N.B: All images used in this post are mine. The thumbnail was designed using Canva.}

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