Cumulative characteristics that breed good or bad traits in people.

The Earth is currently filled with over eight billion people. These people have different faces, tastes, styles, temperaments and behaviours. But out of all this, I believe that no human is born inherently bad. I mean, is that not why babies are lovable, adorable and cute?

What I think plays out in people, is the learning patterns daily inculcated into their lives. When a baby is born, it is said that the baby's mind is a blank field and the learning patterns that child is introduced to, like seeds, are what shapes the child for the future.

*Is that not why the Holy Bible says…

”Train up a child in the way he or she should go and when he or she is old, he or she will not depart from it.”

A young man was arrested for physically abusing his wife and while he was interrogated by the human rights activist, he said that he saw his dad beat his mum everyday as a child . So to him, that was what love meant. If he does not beat his wife, it means that he doesn't love her. *What a sick joke but this goes to prove that the things learnt by a child growing up determines to a great extent if they'll be a good or a bad person.

Many people target single moms, claiming that they raise wayward children but I have seen a single mom raise nine children on her own from childhood to adulthood and today as adults, none of them is wayward. In fact, five out of the nine are clergies with good ministries in this country. They are all doing well and late last year, they jointly bought her a house.

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Some good people have raised terrible children, not because they were careless or totally negligent but I am of the opinion that they failed to practice what they preached and neither did they practice conscious parenting and that is where the mistake takes an upward curve.

Children are good imitators. They practice monkey see, monkey do. That's just how they've been wired. So as a parent, when you tell your child not to do something, you should also pay conscious attention to yourself not to do that for which you are warning that child.

When you say ”don't tell lies”, to your child, you should also not tell lies. Also, you can't leave anything to chance. As a mom myself, I cease opportunities as teaching moments with my daughter. I lay out the big picture for her to see why she should or should not practice certain traits and she gets it.

For instance, some months ago, my daughter received a gift but forgot to tell me about it until after five days. when she told me about it. I ceased that moment to correct her on that. I made her understand that gratitude is very important as it would give a good impression of her to the giver and also make her viable for more gifts in the future.

I also made her understand that putting me in the know whenever she was given gifts would keep her safe as I can vouch for the giver and also appreciate them. She saw reasons with me, apologized for her behaviour and I appreciated the giver of the gift later that day.

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In as much as there is no perfect or a one size fit all blueprint to raising good people, it is important to note that the family, physical environment and cultural background, play a major role in shaping a person to be either good or bad. Even the society is not left out. We have a role to play in shaping the children around us. Some kids have confidants who are not their relatives and they were guided on the right path of life.

Lastly, I also feel that certain things are choice based. To be a hero (good) or a villain (bad) is a choice. I chose to be a responsible woman, friend and citizen. I have the liberty to do ”whatever I like” but I chose to live right even when so many people taunt me to be boring.

I don't go clubbing nor do I attend random parties. If you see me at a party, check it well, it should be a child naming ceremony or wedding. This is a choice I make daily and it doesn't mean that I never made mistakes, I did but I chose to be a good person, living with mindfulness, empathy, car and love for others.

It was not easy getting here because I grew up in a very bad environment filled with weed smokers, gangsters, prostitutes and cultists. I could have easily joined the trend but I made my choice and I'm the better for it.

As a child, upbringing is important but as an adult, choices and decisions cumulate to form our behaviours and attitudes. Understanding this will keep us in check and also help us raise a better generation of kids who will live after us.

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Thanks for reading. This is my response to the #hivelearners initiative for w173 e03.

Images are mine.