The Supportive Hands
Human being is the creature that takes hardest of the efforts and longest of the time for learning to live life and to reach the level of maturity. How quick all the other animals learn the survival skills. In fact, many of them are born learnt. No body is required to guide them what they have to feed and how. Nevertheless, the case of human being is not the same.
A child comes in this world as a weak being. He cannot feed himself unless the caretaker provides him. The feeble being doesn’t know how to clean himself, the caretaker performs the job. Children are totally dependent on their parents for fulfilling their personal, social and emotional needs.
Life goes on. The strong hands, that supported the child to move and take his first steps, become weak. The strong back, that lifted heavy loads to meet the needs of the kids bends down and no longer remains capable of being straight even for itself.
Nonetheless, the child that was once weak turns into a strong and robust individual. This is the time when responsibilities are supposed to be shifted. The parents deserve to be taken care in their old age as they cared for their kids during the time of their weakness.
It is heart breaking to witness the incidents of children treating their parents as a burden when they turn old. They abandon their parents and negate their responsibility towards them thinking that they have the right to live their lives freely as individuals.
During their youthful years, people start considering their parents a reason of discomfort who put pressure on them for fulfilling their needs. People want to enjoy their lives without being pressurised by the responsibility of their parents.
The point to consider here is that if our parents did not spend their youthful years to fulfil our needs. Did the parents not sacrifice their dreams and desires to give us a better life? Did they not face the discomfort in order to bring comfort to our lives. Now when the life flips and the positions are altered, isn’t it the responsibility of children to pay them back with same level of love and care?
I think it is quite ungrateful on the part of the children to take the efforts put by their parents as for granted. Parents also had the choice to not care of their kids when they were young. If they chose to give the best to their kids sacrificing their own wishes, it is responsibility of children to be grateful to them via their words and actions.
Nonetheless, despite considering it the responsibility of children to take care of their parents in their old age, I don’t consider the mind-set of bringing up kids for our own future as a healthy mentality.
Having this kind of mentality, parents build too many expectations, some of which might even be irrational. Consequently, children are put under unnecessary pressure of fulfilling all the demands of their parents. The situation becomes frustrating for children and disappointing for the parents.
Another problem with this kind of mentality is that parents do not keep anything save for themselves, instead spend everything on their kids. When the table is turned with time, parents become totally dependent on their children. In such a situation if children refuse to take care of their parents, the parents feel helpless.
In short, children should not consider their old parents as a burden on them. Instead they should be grateful to them and treat them with kindness and love. On the other hand, parents should not bring up their kids with a desire of getting the support back. Instead, they should be saving something for their own future and also always be striving for independence .
This post is my participation for Hl-featured contest.
Children should take care of their parents when they are old and weak and can not do things for themselves just like they use to when they are young.
True. Children should understand that it is their responsibility to take care of their parents. Whom are the parents supposed to turn to during their age of dependence if not their children....!
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It is indeed wise of every child to take care of his or her parents when they come of age.
True. Children should demonstrate gratitude by taking care of their parents.
Thanks for stopping by, !LADY
Hmm I like that part, parent took care of their children when the they were weak as baby so also the child is expected the take care of the parent when they also grow old and weak.
Truth be told our parent tried for us.
Isn't that the reality of life? The principle of reciprocity works here, doesn't it?
Thanks for your nice comments. !LUV
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It's so true that children often take their parents' efforts for granted, without realizing the sacrifices they made for their well-being.
It's heartbreaking to see elderly parents abandoned or treated as a burden by their children.
We must recognize the value of intergenerational care and support, and prioritize gratitude and reciprocity in our relationships.
At the same time, parents should strive for independence and save for their own future, rather than relying solely on their children for support. Let's work towards building a culture of love, respect, and mutual support across generations.
You have summarized my point of view really well. !LUVed your description ♥️
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I see it that way too. That is the generational contract we have with each other.
Yet presently, with around 1.3 children per woman (where I live), this contract will not be fulfilled. All modern societies are moving below self-sustainability in terms of birth rates. This decline was already foreseeable when the contraceptive pill was introduced; and even before that, birth rates were falling in affluent societies.
Families are though the cornerstone of societies. Once families are in minority, and you have singles or non parents in a majority, society in general starts to degenerate.
Yes, parents are well advised to save money for their old age, but even that is not safe. Your funds could become vulnerable and even victim to economical crisis, as history gives evidence of. When a financial crisis hits hard, all funds may go to ashes.
Governments could, if they wanted, set on programs which promote and support family building long term, beyond any legislation period but with time scales around fifty and hundred years. Like they did in Hungary, for example (of which I am not saying those are long term, since every election can turn things around). Our government did not push it, though it also did not abandon benefits for families.
We promote divorce, enmity between male and female, between parents and children, not because it is intended on purpose, but because of the shift of focus and traditional values being too less respected in general. And the new age and "self actualization" became a thing. A lot of it is utter bollocks.
It may turn, though. I think the atmosphere shifts and the value of traditional family planing, marriage and other Christian related issues may have a comeback. I like to be optimistic for future generations, even though we ourselves as babyboomers will face the backfire of what we have missed to do on our own (myself included).
Long time........ 🥰
Thanks for coming to my blog @erh.germany . I had been missing you lately.
Currently I am busy in reading a contest enteries. Therefore do not have enough time to respond to your comment. Actually, I never want to respond your comments with superficial thoughts.
I will be back to it when I have more time to be thoughtful so that we can have more insightful conversation.
A lot of Love from my side. Hope you are doing well.
HaHa :D don't miss me, since I may visit you more often. ... Just kidding. I know though, that I can be a very bothersome dialogue partner and that chatting with me is most likely not a chat, but a challenge.
I am looking forward to have you coming back at me, once you find the time for a conversation on the level you want to lead.
I am good, thank you.
!LOLZ. And these are the challenges that make us explore greater potential of ourselves 😉.
It would be an honour
HaHa! :D - I find that to be true, as well. I appreciate it being challenged. If not in that very moment, then later on.
I was unaware about this fact. I knew about the increase of aging population and elderly in several societies, yet I never thought that the low birth rate was also a threat to self sustainability of any society.
It means, by the advertisement of importance of birth control, we are only being shown one side of the coin.
I agree
While your points are valid, I had something else in my mind. Lemme elaborate. I have seen parents who gradually handover everything to their children, like precious metals and their owned properties etc. In that case they become empty handed. I don't think they should be trusting their children that much. We never know when the table may turn.
Lately, I have been contemplating about these shifts. Honestly speaking, I am in dilemma. I am yet to decide which way is the best. About the tradional values and related aspects, my mom says that I do not understand them fully because I am young. She says things will make sense to me when I will reach her age.
I take her words seriously and want to make sense of the things withour being knocked down by the adversity of the coming time.
Thanks for your thought provoking contribution @erh.germany . It increased my knowledge and gave me an opportunity to contemplate on the issue more deeply.
!LUV
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It is true. Statistics show that but if you look around, it can also be witnessed.
Your mother is absolutely right, say hello from me, a stranger to her:). That's the natural way it goes. She can by no means really explain her innermost world to you, since she'd have to explain her experiences and what she had gone through, in total. That would be too much and it cannot be told in totality. Trust must take that place of "making oneself understood". Relationships instead of analyzing things to death.
You are so different from western folks, since your attitude is not aggressive but thoughtful. I don't know many people of your caliber, but what I noticed is that it often comes from people from abroad who did not yet reach our western way of life, are brought up in a more traditional way, and have faith in the divine. For me, having faith in the divine is to accept something higher than me and to follow the teachings to "know myself". This does not mean that religion is always at its best, it is not and religious zealots are not meant. But it can be a rich source of getting to know oneself. People are going insane to repair the world for everyone. This cannot be done for "everyone", one can do it for the self.
Do you speak of adult children who betrayed their parents? I think you have to help me here, I did not quite understand.
🤗🥰
Spot on.
Here I am confused. Do you think I belong to West?
Perhaps you are right in your observations. I do belong to a strong traditional society which is still quite away from the total adoption of western individualism and related aspects.
Nevertheless, it is not like the influence has not reached here. Traditional values are being challenged and questioned. I am not at all against challenging the customs and traditions. Some negative aspects needs reconsideration instead of following them blindly. What I cringe about is the way it has been done. More aggressively and less thoughtfully. Shining one aspect tremandously, undermining the importance of the other totally.
It is like polarization. Being on one extreme or the other. People exhausted of one element strive to adopt the entire opposite without realizing that it has its own consequences. I think there is a need to figure out a balanceing point which requires more wisdom and contemplation, instead of claiming something as all good or all bad.
Unfortunately, I am not seeing this approach in the waves that are striving to bring the change in our traditional mindset.
I agree.
Hmmmm. Being a Muslim, I believe that Qur'an is the best guidance and the ultimate truth for the whole mankind. The words that open up seas of wisdom for knowing our ownselves and beyond.
Nevertheless, the problem arises when these words land in the hands of notorious, nasty, greedy and selfish kind of people. They utilize its splits (excluding them from the context) for their own personal gains instead of reaching the truth.
People have made religion a weapon to validate their own desires. In such cases, religion really doesn't remain the best. In fact, a source to bring the worst
Yeah, unfortunately. Without knowing that there is a lot damage within themselves that needs to be adressed first.
Yeah, I am talking about adult children who feel no shame in leaving elderly parents.
Thanks for taking your time for the exchange of thoughts. @erh.
!
No, I know that you are not a Westerner, that's why I said it. I think you contrast us.
I agree, it is reasonable to stay sceptic and to question the things which are told "to be so".
Yes, the phenomena is observable everywhere. When things tend to become too heavy on one side, people, on this one side, go over to the exact opposite side. Which we then observe as radical or extreme. But I would say that the radical and extreme is visible and the non radical and extreme is not. So that one can easily get the false impression that all there is, is the radical and extreme. While what's in the middle between the two poles gets no attention, since it is moderate. That's the crux of the matter.
Now, Christians themselves believe that the Bible is the best guidance and the ultimate truth for the whole mankind. At least, some of us do. That is a classic dilemma. The art of living and of facing conflicts is, in my view, to navigate this dilemma, is being able to accept to stay within that space of tension. Without freaking out, if you know what I mean.
Don't we know that :) Now, that means that if a Muslim does that, it's the Muslims to correct that kind of action and if a Christian does it, it's for the Christians to correct him. Whether being corrected by some other than ones own religion is much more complicated and seems even impossible.
The phenomena is though, that Christianity started to spread itself two thousand years ago, and it did so all over the world. Many of Christian values became at least part of the lifestyles of other folks, even though they see themselves as non Christians. Since Christian nations accommodate many non Christians, they gained the image of being tolerant places. A Muslim, for example, can come to Germany and live here and still practice his religion, since we have freedom of religion. I guess, that would not be as easy where you live?
Yeah, that is why we have the saying that "don't preach water and drink wine". I would be interested if you have something similar in your sayings.
That happens, yes. If it happens in single cases and if it happens within the framework where this is generally not so, then such unfortunate happenings can be carried by the stability of the environment. If such cases become a tendency, then a trend and then overreach the whole of the peoples lifestyles, it becomes a huge problem, or can be perceived as such.
Greetings to you.
I write long reply twice and alas! An accidental refresh erased them. Huuuh!😕
I will write another reply later.
Greetings to you too ❤️
Too bad, I know how aggravating that can be. Bummer, that your work was lost.
I will continue to refer to your other response within the next days, hopefully.
Greetings, to you, too.
It’s an evaluation full of wisdom.
Yeah, one can. But the stakeholders of this radical position do not see the opinion as extreme rather a representation of their rights.
Balance is the most difficult thing to attain.
Well, being a Muslim I also do believe that the Bible was once the best guidance and the ultimate truth until it was contaminated by the words of creation, the man.
On the other hand, despite passing 14 centuries, there is no contamination of the words of anyone in the Qur’an.
The Arabic Qur’an is preserved in its original form.
Suppose all the copies of both the Qur’an and the Bible get erased from the face of the earth. Would it be possible for anyone to reproduce the Bible exactly the same without any doubt?
For Qur’an, the thing is that its exact copy can be reproduced with surety. It is because, Allah (the God) has made the way of preserving Quran via memorization.
Memorization of a book as it is, not by one but by millions, is itself miraculous, isn’t it? It is a sign of Divine intervention.
There are several other reasons for believing Qur’an to be the ultimate truth.
Well, I am deviating from the main point of the here conversation. Let me return to your reply.
I think I don’t know. I would love to get an explanation.
I agree 💯
Now that’s a long discussion.
Yeah, in the present era, we see the Christian nations to be more tolerant. However, there was a time in the history when Christians, after taking over them, treated Muslims really brutally. Thousands of them were killed and the remaining were converted to Christianity by force.
So how long this tolerance will continue, we don’t know.
So far as the things at my place are concerned, minorities are living in peace here. But !LOLZ one sect of Muslims is after another to the extent of declaring them non-believers.
I do admit that we have less tolerance with regards to theological issue. (We are intolerant in general 😉).
But the thing is that if we are following the wrong path, it doesn’t at all means that the teachings of Islam are incorrect. If we look at the teachings directly from the life of the preacher, prophet Muhammad, we find complete security and tolerance for non-Muslims.
Once a group of Christian scholars came to the prophet. He made them stay in the mosque Al Nabvi, The house for Muslim's worship.
Funny enough, the situation has now become, among Muslims, we do not tolerate a person of one sect in the mosque of other sect.
We have a Quranic verse
“O you who have believed, why do you say what you do not do? Great is hatred in the sight of Allah that you say what you do not do.”
Unfortunately.
Thanks for taking your time to give your insights.
Have a blessed life ❤️❤️
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This is, as it sounds, a worldwide phenomenon. I believe that it has existed since time immemorial and that the intention to unite the majority of people under one faith only meant to counteract sectarianism in this way by creating a universally valid order.
From wherever people believe that order has been given to them, the resulting set of rules has been preserved to maintain the multiplicity of believers under this order. It is safe to say that violence has always been used to achieve this. Not only violence against people of other outlandish faiths, but also violence within their own people or against those who endeavoured to change the code of order and to found their own sect.
In every culture, sub-sects have separated themselves from the main structure by adopting parts of the established rules and rejecting other parts. However, as long as they did not discard the actual belief in a supreme authority, they were tolerated and integrated into the main structure after initial struggles and certainly also fatal battles.
What happened here in Europe apparently didn't happen in your part of the world (?), which is known here as the Age of Enlightenment. Which of course means that belief in God was completely questioned and labelled as ‘superstitious’.
Incidentally, apparently also the idea of the Christians themselves, who considered the pagans to be superstitious.
Since we have been dealing with the tendency of a decreasing belief in God for about three hundred years, but nothing is able to fill the resulting void, we are experiencing the phenomenon of what you have described well with your own phenomenon "one sect permits no entrance to another sect".
We get strange cult constructs that make the achievements attributed to the Enlightenment look like a curse in retrospect. Everything becomes a cult: science itself, the subjective existence of the individual, the academic world and especially its faculties of sociology and anthropology, for example.
Human individual existence loses its stability by being confronted with too many facts, which makes navigation through life almost impossible if you are not having the self discipline to know yourself well. Which is said to happen through faith in God and through practising the religious teachings. The assertion of those who said that people would be able to lead a rational life without God comes now under a lot of fire by so far not very active Christians and is seen as a too high of a risk after threehundred years of applied science and progress in technology. Here in Germany, I do not observe that so much but certainly in the US this can be observed. Since everything sooner or later arrives from the states here in Germany - and even earlier in the UK.
Nietzsche, one of our most famous philosophers (both, loved and hated) , is said to have predicted that if God is declared dead, the result will be mass murder. I don't know whether he really predicted it but it is imaginable. The Nazis and their Eugenics are known as anti Christ and worshipping the Roman model of rule, which means as much as "All Romans are under Roman protection, everyone not being a Roman, can be killed any time. No consequences to be feared."
Now, that so far shows that human beings kill other human beings, be they religious or non religious.
Still, the set of rules I inherited from being a Christian, are valid for me. We are Christians and often wouldn't even describe ourselves as Christians. Like a fish in the water, who is not aware of the water.
I will respond to what you else said, later. This is already a long comment. Thank you so much for providing me with information from your so foreign for me part of earth.
It didn't happen in my part of the world, but did happen in the history of Muslims. Particularly, Turkey had a great impact of it. In their attempt to prove themselves secular and being proud of their national identity, they went even against the basic rules of the religion. They were trying to be enlightened as the other parts of the Europe and the consequence was the loss of their religion.
So far as my part of the world is concerned, there is nothing to be proud of. I cringe looking at the mind-set and practices, here. We do not question the existence of God via our words,but our actions do. We do exact opposite of the teachings but we have got a false pride of being the chosen people by the God (as Muslims).
The void can never be filled by anything. We have got something superior to material that gives us life. No philosophy can quench the spiritual thirst of our spirits.
It is because we are lacking the holistic view of all the things. Everyone has a perspective which they feel the best. Every aspect lacks several other things. And the truth is, God is the being who bind all of them together. To make sense of many things, we need to believe on a Supreme power.
I don't know what has happened in Christianity over time but with Islam it has happened that our religious leaders have played a great role in kicking people away from seeing the holisti view of things given in Qur'an.
When people don't get the answers for their modern life's situations they try finding the other places for an explanation.
Agreed 💯
It's a great delight to engage in thoughtful conversation with you. I learn a lot ♥️♥️💖💖
Yes, I see it that way, too, though I include and not exclude philosophy, since that is the very discipline which enables debate of theological nature - faith is the nutrition while philosophy is a tool. Many of former atheists, who had to try out atheism, come to that very same conclusion. People obviously need to make mistakes in order to come to insights.
The realisation that people are fighting something that they themselves have been steeped in for thousands of years is probably one of the most difficult things of all.
It throws you into a dilemma that cannot be solved by eradicating the part you reject while keeping the other part you accept. But if you don't want to let go of fighting one and keeping the other, you will also lose the other. In other words, the dilemma cannot be solved by killing or persecuting people, or by glorifying and favouring them, but only by killing the dilemma itself (the idea).
Killing an idea can only be done with words.
With the best and cleverest arguments a person is capable of. But if you don't practise debating and letting the better arguer win, you won't want to debate. Because someone rejects debate, he will not allow it and so he will want to silence people. And if they do not remain silent, he declares their words to be lawlessness.
Someone who finds it all too tedious and too slow and someone who wants it done quickly will think that speakers are nothing but weaklings. And that the weak speak because they have no strong arms and muscles to talk with. Since such mind itself is weak, it will not tolerate any contradiction to what it thinks and it does not know how to assert itself with words, it first gives bad names instead of good arguments, and if bad naming does not help to silence the opponent talker, it will want the weapon. Either its own weapons or those of others who are willing to silence or prosecute, or imprison or kill the opponent. If already in power, one deconstructs the symbols and buildings.
Attatürk's conversion of the Hagia Sophia into a museum in 1934 could be seen as a clear intention to secularise Turkey. If its largest and most famous building was no longer seen as a religious place, it seemingly was assumed that religion itself would also be discarded.
Like all such drastic measures, however, this has presumably offended devout Muslims to no end and probably cost non-believing Muslims no more than a shrug of the shoulders. It is impossible to say who is ultimately to be regarded as a believer or non-believer in a nation, as it is impossible to look into people's hearts. When they see that their places of worship have nothing more to offer them spiritually, they stay away and pray for themselves. Or stop praying altogether, both of which happen.
To have Hagia Sophia reopened in 2020 by Erdogan is viewed manyfold from an outlandish perspective; as radicalization , as comeback of religion, as an attempt to demonstrate strength and nationalism, as a benevolent or a malevolent action, as a strategic move etc. etc.
We have many Turkish people living here in Germany. I did not get in close touch with them and was not interested in the men, since where I grew up there weren't so many, compared to the big cities. I did not think much of them, since I perceived them as criminals and oppressing their wives and daughters.
A childhood friend of mine got in close relationship with a Turkish man and that did not go well. His brother was a known drug dealer and we heard that he carried always a gun with him. (I was fifteen or sixteen by that time).
Since what you don't do as a German is attending a gathering in a mosque, but you go to your own church (if so). So, to meet each other as devout believers, rules itself out. You tolerate each other from the distance. If you meet one another in the streets, you can't tell.
I stopped going to church myself and may be seen as part of the problem. When all the years go by in which one human being seemingly turns his back on religion, but still questions what it can mean at all, this is actually not a real turning ones back, but struggling with the self. Now I am old and came to the realization that I never stopped being a Christian, since I swam in Christian waters since my birth. But as I said, I was like the fish, not aware of the water.
Is it because Turkey is seen as a traitor and now wants to offer itself as an ally to nations like yours that see themselves as Muslim, but will not accept this offer if Turkey does not leave the EU, for example?
To summarise, I would say that if a person's inner struggle is not dealt with and pacified within themselves, it shifts to the outside and draws countless people into this struggle - on a personal level and a collective level. These are the effects that we all experience and if we are very unlucky, we find ourselves in the eye of the storm.
It is difficult to say whether it is a good or less good sign that previously inactive Christians are beginning to actively defend their values because they are being met with scepticism from within their own ranks. Because every religion has also been abused - which you also pointed out - and become known precisely for not being able to refrain from oppression. So, that scepticism shall be met and debates shall be held.
I could say so much more, and you see that this is something which keeps me occupied. I do appreciate your points of view and how you express yourself. We can continue and see where it leads us.
I don't exclude philosophy either. It enables us to make sense of factors and phenomenon. I just meant a philosophy without having belief on a superior being can never be enough.
Wanting a debate would mean to be ready to kill one's ego.
Even if we fall into an argument, most of us have the purpose of defending our point of view instead of understanding the truth. We become blind and deaf to other logical explanation and just focus on the points that have the potential to defend our position.
Agreed.
It might be the case, as Middle Easterns believe it that Turkey wants to offer itself as ally. They are not ready to see Turkish take the charge of Muslims again.
However, I think, while this political cause may be a reason, there is revival of Islam in the attitude of general public. (It's my assumption though. I haven’t been to Turkey ever, !LOLZ).
As you stated about being in dilemma and be not able to exclude one part from the other. It would have happened to Turkish people and they would have to make an attempt to take themselves out of the dilemma.
So far as seeing Turkey as a traitor is concerned, I don't know about other Muslim countries but here in my country we know nothing about the history in general. We neither know what Arabia did during world war 2, nor what Turkey went through. We just need a powerful representation for Muslims to fight with super powers for our rights. Turkey's revival of Islamic values gives here a hope. Well, I know this mind-set is based on merely superficial evaluation.
It is quite unfortunate that Muslims, deviating from their core religious teachings, have fallen into the world of crime.
So far as oppeessing women is concerned, I understand why and how it happens. I witness it happening in my society.
As I stated before people just pick the bits and pieces without context and present it to be the truth. The same is the case in oppression scenrio.
Being a patriarchal society, we have picked certain teachings declaring men as superior and presented them as the whole religion. What rights for the other party are preserved by the religion are simply forgotten.
The actual Islamic teachings provide women empowerment to the level other nations might not have thought. For instance, it is the responsibility of the man to pay her wife for bearing his children, for feeding them with her breast, for doing the home chores. With these teachings if a woman choose to stay at home, she is still financially empowered.
The problem begins when we act like no such teachings exist.
This optession of women has lead to another radical position where the rights of women are presented as if they are the only existing rights, undermining the rights of men. The result is disharmony in the society.
The rise of feminism in its extreme form, where all the values are humiliated, is also a representation of this radicalism.
Going to churches or mosques doesn't warrant devoutedness, does it?
I am amazed by the level of knowledge you have and the way you represent it. 👌 I learn a lot from you and I am thankful to you for taking the time to have discussions of this level.
Have a nice day 😊
Ah, alright. Now I see. Good, that we are on the same terms.
This revival of Christianity in the West seems to be happening, as well. At least in the Internet. I cannot say that for my country, though, so hard to tell, yes.
Spot on.
Oh, that is interesting to read. I didn't know, that in your country that happened, as well. It's sad when men and women think their problems rise from being a man or being a woman.
LoL. No, it doesn't.
Thank you, too for having a conversation with me. I learned something to be in touch with you.
God bless you.
🤗
Yeah, it is sorrowful.
It's always a great pleasure to talk to you. An honour for me ❤️❤️