Rooted in Passion: The Rise of a Lost Flame (My introductory post)

Persistent. Passionate. Purpose Driven
These are only few words I often hear from people whenever I ask them to describe me. Little do they know, these adjectives only cover the tip of the iceberg, the facade of a building and a fraction of a larger whole. So, who am I?

Hello! I am Issabela Denise Ogoc Endrina. My name is too long, so you can call me “Issa”. I am a teacher by profession but still a kid at heart. I am glad to have found this platform where I could share a glimpse of my life. This cyber space will serve as my online journal where I will be sharing most of my interests, stories, life experiences, thriumphs and even failure. I hope you’ll be learning a lot from me as much as I’m excited to learn more about you.

GLIMPSE OF ME

In my 27 years of existence, I would say, life is like a roller coaster ride. Have you watched the “Inside Out” Movie? All the emotions featured there were present in all the twists of fate I have experienced. Hence, among them, it’s anxiety I feel most often.

I am an only child, and I grew up in a very loving and nurturing family. My mother and father worked hard to provide for my needs but despite being privileged, I never grew spoiled. Thus, my parents were my greatest inspiration to always strive hard in everything I do. My parents never pressured me, but I always feel that the least that I can do for them is to be an achiever in school, so I did. I am always the top student in my class, the competitive one and the one who’s always thirsty for academic validation.

I lost my dad when I was still in 3rd year high school due to stroke caused by hypertension. Along with his passing is a shattered dream of being able to give back for all the sacrifices he made for our family. Then, my mom stood as my solo parent who worked hard to send me to college.

I enjoyed myself a lot during my college years. I made a lot of friends, applied for scholarships, joined organizations, school publication, competed in different socio-cultural events and was given lots of opportunities to travel into different places around the Philippines through pen/writing competitions. Aside from writing, I also love to read, sing, dance and do some art and hand crafts. If you also find joy in doing makeup I guess, we’ll get along well.

I graduated with a degree of Bachelor of Secondary Education – Major in Filipino. I passed the licensure examination with just one take and that’s when anxiety slowly creeped in. Fear crept into my mind as I think about the early adulting stage and the responsibility that comes with it. My father’s death and my mom’s hard work made me anxious about how short life is. I wanted to rush everything so I could give everything my mom needs. Overthinking about the future stressed me out. I unconsciously put pressure on myself even when I didn’t have to. Fortunately, I got hired right after having my teaching license. I started working as a part time Instructor in a University in a nearby city.

Life was good. I was blessed with great colleagues and a wonderful working environment. I thought I already had everything I needed because I loved my work. I had fun teaching high school and college students not until pandemic happened. I drained my savings and everything’s a mess. I was juggling both work and studies as I was also enrolled in my master’s degree at that time. My post graduate classes took a toll on me leaving me with questions about my purpose in life. It felt like I was stuck in the middle of nowhere. I felt isolated, I went through an existential crisis, and I also got diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). This common hormonal disorder among women made me go through an emotionally draining process I can’t even fathom. What’s once known to be persistent, passionate and purpose-driven person , became lost.

In the blink of an eye, I lost the spark. It felt like an artist who lost her passion for art, a musician who suddenly hated music or a wordsmith caught in silence. I overachieved everything until I reached the exhaustion point. I got tired, wept and somewhere along the way, I lost track of my progress.

RENAISSANCE

Through the help of people who believed in me when I couldn’t even believe in myself, I got back on track. Baking, a skill I learned during pandemic opened a door for me in the business industry. I made a living out of it, and it saved me from drowning. My partner brought me into places I’ve never been and it’s like a breath of fresh air. He was my safe space. After years of wandering, my mom welcomed me home with arms wide open assuring me that she’s my safety net. My friends and my pets became my emotional support. From then on, I mustered my strength to live again.

On the other hand, after four years, I had the courage to leave the university and applied for a permanent position under DepEd for security of tenure. With God’s amazing grace, I am now teaching in a DepEd public high school in our city with high hopes for a brighter future. I’m glad I also finished my master’s degree in Master of Arts in Filipino after a two-year hiatus.

I am still working in progress so I continuously find ways to improve myself, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. With pen and paper, I scribbled words and phrases until I found myself again.

As I stumble upon @antonette post about this opportunity to freely express my thoughts, without a doubt, I asked for her help and guidance on how to fully navigate this platform. I am excited with the opportunity to share my inner voice as I always find solace in writing. She patiently shared her expertise about the rules and policies of posting. I fully understand that using AI in posting is strictly prohibited in which I promise to abide. I also learned the importance of quality engaging within the community which also excites me because I bet it would be fun to see people who also share the same interests as me.

Thus, I can attest that all of these and my future posts are stemmed from my inner thoughts. However, my photos were personally captured but were enhanced through the help of Canva.

So, come with me as I ignite my flame in blogging, sharing positivity and discovering growth and opportunities in this cyber space. Thank you! Happy Reading!