Naming Rights
It is a bit weird in Finland, as they generally don't give the child a public name until the Christening, which is about two months after birth. That means that everyone calls it by some "working name" which is generally a fun nickname.. I was forced by my wife to do this with Smallsteps also, even though she is an unchristened heathen who is going to hell. We had a "naming party" for her in place of the church thing, and invited friends and family to gather for food and the reveal of the name.
Today, Smallsteps got to take part in her first Christening, except instead of getting all dressed up for church, we sat on the couch and watched it in normal clothes, and the comfort of home.
Not quite the same experience.
Not that I minded.
Even though I am still standing, Smallsteps and now my wife are both ill with influenza, so it is far better not to be the ones to give it to a little baby. Instead, we watched it through the screen broadcast by a family member. It was quite a different experience than Smallsteps would have got otherwise, but something struck me afterward that highlighted an issue.
Normally, when we go to these kinds of events (like weddings) she has a million questions and asks about what she sees, hears and how people behave. Yet, once we were looking through the narrow lens of the screen where she saw and heard the main bits but didn't have peripheral sight, she had zero questions after. That is unlike her, as she has questions about everything, even the most mundane.
This is an observation with a sample size of one, but for a long time I have considered and spoken about how no matter what information is coming through the screen, it is not only less rich, but far less thought-provoking than direct experience. As touched on again the other day about the space to think, the screen seems to be one directional, where it is just a consumption mechanism, and unless we actively make the space while or after consuming, it doesn't make much of an impact on our experience. It just takes up time.
Had we actually gone to the christening, not only would it have been more valuable for Smallsteps, but it would have also been valuable for the shared experience of family and community, as we would have interacted with the people there and discussed things like the name, congratulated the parents and godparents and had stories to tell, while making new stories. And I think that last bit is important, because when we are experiencing from behind the screen, are we actually making any new stories?
Sure, we might learn something that we might tell forward, or share forward digitally, but is it creating a moment of life experience that we will recall as an event in our lives. There is no "I was there when" from behind the screen, as it is all indirect consumption. Even if we make an event of it and go to the movies, the movie can be remembered, but the act of sitting in the movie theatre itself is not very eventful. Dinner and a movie on a date though, and that becomes a shared experience with someone else, where the consumption of the movie is contextual, not the meat of experience.
Yet I think that so much of our *experience potential" is being pushed onto screens to become not only voyeuristic, but indirect at all levels, to the point that it doesn't even register as an experience at all. Not only is the narrow view of an event incredibly poor in experience, but it doesn't engage our bodies, or our minds at anywhere near the level reality does. But, we keep telling ourselves that this is "good enough" because it is convenient, cheap, and safe. We don't put ourselves into real experience, because we have an alternative.
Some time ago though, the only way to experience something was through direct experience or the direct experience of someone telling a story about it. The story didn't give us much information though, so we would engage our creative minds to imagine what actually happened, what it felt like, and what impact it might have on us. But if we wanted to taste reality, the only way was to participate in life itself.
Are people still participating in life?
I am not talking about simply breathing, but actually putting themselves into a life where they experience reality and create new stories. Or are people avoiding the dangers and discomfort of reality and instead choosing to be passive consumers, believing that the viewing of an event is the same as experiencing the event? And what happens when we aren't creating new personal stories that impact and influence us and our world, and instead are made up of only what we have consumed through a screen - the engineered stories that are omit all the richness of peripheral and random experience?
As I see it, if we aren't engaging in life, if we aren't creating relationships with our world, if we aren't sharing experiences and building new stories, we are not really living. We are taking up space and resources, but adding nothing to the narrative of our species. And if we aren't evolving ourselves, what are we doing?
Taraz
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Note: It is also common for people to guess at the name they will give the child and my guess was spot on, except that they went with the Finnish variation of the name.
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Well, I think watching a ceremony from home can protect us, but it takes away those unexpected moments and connections that make life memorable.
People watch everything from home though - even their "love" relationships.
This reminded me the question: does the sound exist if no one hears it.
I think a lot of us are unknowingly living silently.
Now that sounds something my oldest son would say.
Smart lad ;)
Yep, he is pretty sharp. Sets me straight sometimes.
I’ve noticed something similar in my own life. When I attend something physically even something simple I remember the atmosphere, the awkward pauses, the side conversations, the little human moments that were never part of the main event.But when I watch through a screen, I remember the content not the experience. And those are two very different things.
Very much two different things and through the screen, only you are getting something. In a real life situation, many people are experiencing together.
The difference between witnessing and watching is really a big one. Screens do show us the event, but they rarely give us the feeling. As of right now, I have read the post and had to google things, because the cultural practices here are different so cannot relate exactly. So noow, I have the idea of it, but still, I cannot feel the actual warmth and meaning behind it. Like I can see the moment clearly and still somehow miss it at the same time.
There is something powerful in being physically present - the small details, the atmosphere, the unspoken energy - things a screen cannot transmit.
However, this consumptipn over real experience is going to be dominating for the upcoming generation.
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And I wonder what happens when the average person thinks that the screen life is real life, and that is the full depth of experience?
Our great niece came to us rather unexpectedly, so there wasn't a ton of time to think up names once she was here. We called her nugget until something was firmed up. I know my wife and I have definitely holed up a bit more in our house over the past few years. It's just not the same environment out there that it used to be.
I get not choosing straight away at times, because the options might not suit once the baby is seen. But two months!! :D
I agree and it seems it is only going to get worse.
Yeah, it didn't last more than a week before she had a name. We still call her nugget though.
I think it is nice when there are family nicknames. My family didn't do them.
Mine neither.
It’s scary how easily we accept good enough because it’s convenient. It’s that lack of peripheral sight you mentioned, it literally narrows our world. Glad you stayed home to protect the little one.
I wonder what it would b e like to have tunnel vision all the time - and how much would be missed.
I love Smallsteps' inquisitive nature, it's what aids kids to navigate and understand the complex society we inhabit.
Sadly many drop this habit of asking questions once they attain adulthood. The ones that retain it go on to become Inventors and innovators, producing brilliant ideas and creations that make society better.
It good Smallsteps also has both her parents that can answer her endless stream of questions. Some kids to not have that privilege.
I hope they overcome the influenza and get back to good health soon.
Perhaps most kids don't have it these days. I sometimes wonder how they are raised at all. Some parents seem to just have the kids there, but not actually be with the kids.
yes. like i am about to watch my umpteenth vid about the philippines on yt, but i need to watch that many and it does not equal even 1 visit to a new island there..
I wonder if you took a job at McDonald's during all the time you watch videos, how many trips could you do :D
And my daughter is getting initiated into watching some winter sports, ice hockey included. Previously, she knew Franklin the Turtle liked to play it... And that was that. I, myself, knew more about ice hockey players when I was seven or eight years old. The 1992 Olympics. Since then, my favorites have been losing... Like Well, at least these guys... at least those guys... At least... well, no.
I don't know Franklin the Turtle...
That year I was watching late at night from a tiny TV in my room, I got after my granddad died. That was when I first started really getting into the winter games.
At least Finland won bronze tonight ;)
Yeah, a bit nondramatical at the end...
Do you have a lot of lions in Finland?
We sure are experiencing life, I sometimes go through the images of the last few years and I am amazed of how much stuff we actually did...
Whenever I have the choice, I usually go for the real life experience. Nothing beats that. I even try to to take many pictures or videos, as it distracts from the experience itself, and it never captures the moment quite right. But it can be help to relive later, and sharing it with friends. Though most don't really care I think. I usually don't. When people send me videos of a concert or some ceremony it's like "Yeah, cool, enjoy!" But what else? It doesn't really move me, generally.
The pictures are great, though. Lily always remembers everything through them. She can tell the stories behind almost every picture that I printed out, and reliving those moments together is an experience of itself.
Same with my kids, poor things will be joining me (I did get christened but high faith objects annoy me which apparently means the devil is in me).
though amusingly I was having a semi-theological discussion with J the other night and it turns out that he pretty much has the same naturalistic pantheist tendencies that I do which follows a freaking trend for me
Yay for livestreaming!
it was also how my sibling, parents, uncle and myself "attended" another uncle's funeral earlier in the year, with sibling dearest and I exchanging commentary over text to make sure their connection didn't drop out as it did a couple of times and then there were other periods where they were making sure it was just a long silence with nothing much happening and not that their stream was frozen, and how I "attended" a friend's graduation a couple of years ago
That usual feeling of "...oh...yeh...right" when you know that people do a lot of things differently and don't do some things at all including that thing that's blatantly obvious/normal/natural for you.
I'm usually at least backburning anything I've intentionally watched or read, I don't know if the rest of the family does but if they've seen or read something but we still have almost daily discussions about it (and very frequently when I'm trying to do something or at midnight XD).
Could have been the screen, could have just been because sick, if you remember one way to find out will be if you're "attending" another event by livestream and she's well.
Probably the same thing happening with Hollywood and Netflix where it seems people are getting increasdingly bored with the offerings (they're hyperfocused on profits so they keep repeating the same boring formulae or desperately milking the same universe that made money before and are too terrified to try anything new because they might make a loss instead and then lose anyway coz boring). Ideally it will drive more people to make what they want to see/read but that's also hard work.
Hope you remaiun standing and that your wife and smallsteps are on the mend :)
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You probably want to read something from a philospher that is just mind blowing: Stories from Thucydides by Thucydides 4/81