My Priceless Treasure - LOH #246

I have something priceless, a possession that jealously holds lots of my private thoughts, something that means the world to me, a possession that holds my visions, my prayers, my silent tears, and my happy and bad moments of life.

I understand that certain things we own may look so ordinary to others; people can perceive them as casual, but to us, they hold something valuable, they hold a deep meaning, and they can be a symbol of anything we cherish, and that's what makes the difference. Whatever you define that thing to be for you makes it extraordinary. To me, that possession is my diary!

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There was a point in my life when I felt that I was too young to shoulder a lot that befalls me. I said to myself that these things shouldn't be meant for me; that was a human thought. You wouldn't blame me for thinking that way because no one wants to be a victim of negative circumstances, but life happens at times, and we just have to deal with it.

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I was literally reaching my elastic limit. At a stage, my memory was failing me; I didn't know what to think at a time. To say that I felt overwhelmed is an understatement. I looked back to think of how I began life and how I was where I was then. I looked around me and saw friends living a life I feel is devoid of the kind of stress life throws at me, but the truth is that I can't be them, and I also can't question God for many things but rather strive to be strong instead of wishing to be another person.

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That point was when I thought of getting this diary where I can always pour my emotions into writing. A place where I can personalize my memories, and as I hope for better days ahead, a place where I can come back someday to flip through the old pages and maybe smile or cry. I don't want to say that life is unfair, but sincerely, I am crying as I type, thinking about what I have seen as a mom in this life, as young as I am. Many people that know my story usually say that I am a strong woman, but it's simply GRACE!

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Take a look at this diary; it looks old, right? I have used it for 5 years, journaling my life experiences. I am sorry, but I can't snap the written pages because of how sensitive the information is there. But I thank God for the day I grabbed this diary and started journeying with it. Everyone in my home knows how dear this diary is to me. It also has a special position in my home, and I don't fail to express myself with it through writing whenever the need be.

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My son read a page of it and started asking me questions about stories concerning his birth. He said, Mummy, you passed through all this just to birth me? I was waiting for him to grow a bit before I could explain certain things to him so we could be on the same page, and so he could understand where my journey with him began to date and know that I didn't deliberately subject him to all he has gone through in life as a child. He has been subjected to lots of pain medically and lots of procedures, but what can I do? If only I could bear the pain on his behalf.

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My diary has been my safe space where I detail my journey of life with him and other sensitive parts of my life. It might not be an expensive or flashy possession, but it's my treasure!

As I flip through the old pages, it reminds me of where I started and where I am today. Hopefully, I will read aloud my victory with my family someday, and we will smile together for pulling through the storms of life.

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This post is in response to the Ladies of Hive contest #246. Thanks @amberkashif for the opportunity to express this particular thought of mine here.

Images are mine.