To Forget The Pain Or To Forget The People... LOH #242

I was being offered a second chance at life, what, is this real, I mean I can literally go back to life., well that was it.

It happened that this gentle looking and radiant being appeared to me in a place I can't really explain with words, am not sure thats heaven, but it's definitely not earth, the place is just too perfect to be described, that aside, he showed up telling me how I have done so well and gave me two options that looks both good and bad..the first is to keep the memories of my past life but without meeting the same people again, and the second option is to forget everything but find the same people around me, all being reincarnated just like I am.....

I just stood there, I was at a cross road, where should I turn, those options are weighty, which should I go for....the idea of keeping my memories looks so good, if you know me, you would know I have experienced a lot too just allow the lessons from my experience disappear.

I survived an illness, a long one at that, one that put a pause to everything in my life, it altered my education and all, that sickness lasted years, it dragged me, drained me, dimmed my light, made me an introvert..it turned me into anything you can think of, the world was there, moving on without me while I remain bedridden and watched my dreams and plans dissolve.

Of all my experience, that is one that I didn’t/never want to forget, I don't want to forget how I fought through it, I don't want to forget the tears, and all those nights I would be there crying and praying, I never wanted to forget those times I was just there lifeless, I didn't want to forget those times I have stopped complaining of the various things being done to me, it was like pain was already a part of me, it felt normal, I didn't want to forget those moments I thought it was the end...but wasn't.

But then again....the second option, I never want to forget how far I had come and the people that helped me through it, my mum with her every day prayers and unquantifiable love, my dad with his reassurance, my brother going helter skelter just to make sure I am fine and lack nothinge, you know, all those things came flashing back, how my mum would hold my hand and pray, how that she won't be able to eat and all...

My siblings too, all carrying responsibilities beyond their age...they really tried, they sacrificed, gave, love, stayed, cared, waited, I thought of how they try to make me smile, the way they do help me clean, the way they do help me lean on them so as to take few steps so I wouldn't fall, as if I was a baby...well, I was a baby then..not in age but my body was weak and frail. Also, there were the friends who didn’t leave, stayed and reminded me I was still needed and loved.

This being was still there, looking at me, maybe he's curious which option I would opt for...well, I was just weighing my options, will I trade all these people just to keep the memory of the journey, or will I trade my journey/experiences just to keep these people.

Or, what's the point of remembering my experiences if the people who held the bandages, prayed for me and stood by me weren’t there? They did almost everything for me, including sharing in my pains, all I did was cry, sleep......

But I already have my answers, I am willing to forget it all if it meant meeting them again, even though I would be losing the knowledge/memories, I still choose love, I choose those who refused to give up on me back then.

I looked up at the being who was there, waiting patiently and gave my answer.

Even if I didn’t remember the pain, process or the progress, I still chose those who saw me when I was invisible, I chose those who prayed when I couldn’t even utter a thing, I chose those who didn't gave up on me and made me feel human in my most helpless state.

Some love are so deep that they aren't tied to memories, but tied to the soul, so I know I would find them again. And when I do, or happen to pass them by on the road in another lifetime, I would stop, look at them, greet them well aand smile, and if I could be close to them or offer them help, I would do so gladly, cause since it's about the soul we might feel some kind of good connection or sort, we just might not know why or what it is.....

All pictures are mine.

Thanks for taking your time to read through, kindly do well to stop by my blog for more amazing, educative and exclusive contents.

Posted Using INLEO