The Loan That Broke Me: My Story Of Disobedience. LOH #245

I can remember vividly the day I gave room for pride, it literally drag me into one of the most embarrassing and painful moments of my life. You know the kind of days that leaves you quiet for days or even weeks because your soul/heart hurts.

Countless times have I heard the word "I told you so", but this experience I had made it hit me differently in a way I wasn't even expecting or can't come to really comprehend. It was during my final year in school, and I had always wanted to start a side hustle that could at least assist me with some bills, I looked around my circle and environment and I noticed that most times students often rush out during lectures to get snacks, so, the the idea clicked.

Me and my mum are best of friends, so she called me one particular evening, and when I said my goodbye she started sneaking in prayer instead of her to respond with her usual "odabo omo mi, mo miss e o" meaning "goodbye my son, I miss you", well I already got used to it and eas saying amen. While the prayer was still ongoing, I remembered my business idea.

After her prayers, I told her I wanted to share something with her, I told her about it and that I understand the situation at home, so I will probably be borrowing money to start. She said it was a good idea, but that I shouldn’t borrow or take a loan to start. “I will find the little I can for you before you resume next semester, don't borrow o, start small, see how people patronize first, and don’t go and collect any o, cause I don't know how you will pay back"....

That was what she said, I was just nodding, but in my mind , I had already made up my mind. I had a neighbor who was my coursemate, he stays together with his older brother who is married, one thing led to another and he told me about a microfinance bank that give students loan, I would be needing my school ID card and a guarantor. I didn't even tell my coursemate any of this. I went with him (my coursemate brother) to the place since he agreed to stand as a guarantor for me.

We got there and not much was asked, I guess because my guarantor was a good customer of theirs, I filled the form and did all that was asked. I collected a hundred and twenty thousand naira. The way the money disappeared from my account, more like it was being chased out. I got a table, cooler, small gas, ingredients and some other stuffs, I even went ahead to pay for printed stickers that carries my name and what I offer with my face in it. I was the boss cheff.

Everything was going in smoothly for like two weeks, I sell to both students and lecturers, in less than a month I was being tagged CEO in my department, I felt like a king. But something happened, I bought flourrt from my regular customer, unknown to me the flour is spoilt already, I noticed while mixing and all, but then, I managed to use it like that, people complained about it and all, I told them am sorry that it was a mistake and that such wouldn't happen again.

That same day, my staff, ohhh, I forgot to add that I hired a small girl to help me then, it was exam period, so I couldn't go about selling and delivering to lecturers, that very day this small girl fainted. And that was the beginning of it all for me, I rushed her to the school clinic, but they wouldn't attend to her because she was not a student, I had to rush her out of the to a hospital where I had to pay.

It was exam time, I can't afford to joke with my final exams, so I decide to just do them little by little, but people stopped patronizing me, I hardly sell five meatpies in a day, something that even a hundred meatpie isn't enough on most days, I changed certain things, I added kunu and sobo to it, even though it was a tight moment for me, I can't afford to let go of what I have started, moreso I am still paying back the loan I collected.

But people had stopped patronizing me, the rumor was my meatpies, puff-puff and all is not good, they even added that it gives stomachache and was why my staff(the little girl) fainted, that she had one clutched to her hand when she fainted. People laughed and said a whole lot. And my loan with it's interest was almost due.

I couldn't sleep at home anymore, the guy eho introduced me to the loan and stood has my guarantor was facing a lot from the bank and hr has been pouring it all out on me, I feel bad for bringing such embarrassment to not just myself but him. I begged him to hold on, I don't know what to do, how do I even tell my mum, she told me not to from the onset. I never knew he had went to report me to my HOD in school.

The following day when we were all sitted and set for exams, my HOD walked in and called me out in front if everyone, and he told the whole class what happened. I wanted the ground to open and swallow me. It has happened already, or what is more embarrassing than this, I went to my house, laid down on my bed and cried, then I did what I have been avoiding, I called my mum and told her, she didn't say anything in phone but I knew my mum will figure out something.

The following day she sent me the money and I paid then I called her to beg her and thank her, it was then she reminded me of her warning, how she had told me to not collect any loan or borrow to start a business, there wasn't anger in her voice, but there was disappointment, the way she talked hit me hard than any slap could have. I couldn't talk, when she was done she asked me to promise her I would never borrow what I couldn’t repay. My mum later told me she wanted to give me some tips, pray about it and also share her experience with me, that was why she asked me to wait till the next semester, then I would be fully prepared.

“I told you so” is more than just words, it is a mirror that reflects every ignored advice and all from someone who had lived what you were rushing into. Old people say this word often because they don't want us to learn the hard way, and that word is most times said from a place of pain, because concerning certain things, they know better.

I now find myself saying those words to people too, I just do hope they learn before life teaches them the hard way. And till now, when I want to do anything or start a thing, I still hear those words of hers, it makes me remember how disobedience, pride, ignorance and all emptied me and gave me shame, that makes me situp and have a rethink before venturing into a thing.

All images were generated using AI.

Thanks for taking your time to read through.