Anonymous Acts, Lasting Impacts: My Story Of Resilience And Compassion...LOH #251

HiWhen I look back on my life, one of the most vivid scenes I see is of myself standing in a kitchen, sweating, apron tied around my waist, smoke and aroma of food mixing together, and trays/plates/pots of food waiting to be carried out/served. That kitchen isn't just my mom's kitchen at home, nor is it just about the catering work I often help with; rather, it was one place in which I learned a lot of lessons, lessons that add up together to shape me into who I am today.

I love cooking; it's one of my hobbies, but that wasn't why I went into catering work. I stumbled on it because life wanted it that way. There were a lot of times when things got to be tight, and the only way/opportunity to support/fend for myself and at least support those I cared for was to go for catering or ushering events. At first, it looked small....cut vegetables, wash pots, cook jollof rice, wash the dishes, get firewood, and arrange plates. It was later that I got to know that it was not just work; it was a school on its own...a school of humility, patience, and service.

In this line of work (catering), you see and meet all sorts and kinds of people. Some treat you with kindness, some treat you as if you aren't human, some treat you with respect, some with disregard, some treat you with love, and some treat you as if you don't even count for anything. There are a lot of times we would have worked, cooked, run up and down, served guests and all, and by the time we were done, it would be late into the night already, and we would have very little left for us to eat as well, at times nothing. While people believe we eat the most and enjoy the best, I beg to differ.

Though there are times we have enough to eat, most times we even eat before starting anything at all. But it's not always something much, so the body won't be heavy. There was a particular day we had planned for ourselves; we dished our food into a separate cooler, we did all the work, and at the end of the day, we found out we had even served the one we kept aside for ourselves, and the guests were still there demanding food. That was the day I learned that most times, not every one of our efforts is rewarded directly or immediately, but every effort we put into the work helps build resilience.

Aside from resilience, I learned something that's equally important, and that's compassion. That’s another part of my life; it is one side of me that most people don't see or even know about. Beyond catering work, I found out I'm being drawn to people, and I help in the little way I can with announcing it. Sometimes it's sending a little amount of money to someone, sometimes it's giving to a stranger who couldn’t afford transport fare, and sometimes it's food to people who don't have or are hungry. If you go to events a lot in my part of the country here, be sure to see a lot of people not invited, who only came maybe they could get something to eat. There are times I give to them when we are done with the event and still have some food left, and there are times it's just listening to strangers who pour out their fears anonymously or need advice or some motivation.

I chose to do it anonymously because I never wanted the focus to be on me but on the help rendered. I am not seeking validation, recognition, or appreciation. Likewise, I just want to be a part of someone's story; I just want to be the reason someone would have a smile on their face when they finally retire to bed at night. Countless times have I done things; let me give you an instance..... There was a time, just recently, I paid for a kid's school fees, a very intelligent kid being sent out of school due to delay in payment. Trust me, I don't have it either; I had to withdraw from this platform to help with it.

I didn't have it all figured out yet either; I have a lot of bills too, but people had showed up for me as well, and I can't but show up for people too. Each time I helped, I felt a different kind of peace inside me. Over time, I realized that compassion or acts of kindness to me were no longer just an action; they had become a part of me. They guide a lot of the decisions I make and have helped shape the way I see the world.

Looking back, among many things that catering taught and gave me was resilience, and the anonymous stuff that I do taught and gave me compassion. Both came together and made me realize that moving forward is not about chasing a good and perfect life but about carrying and having values that can withstand and survive in any situation. Life will always have struggles, disappointments, and betrayals. But what has helped me navigate through is the fact that I know I can always choose how to respond...with strength, love, compassion, empathy, kindness, and service.

These values remain my compass. There are a lot of times I bend without breaking. I keep going and enduring even when things get tough . I have since learned that my life isn’t just about me, that even in my little way, with my little balance, with the little foodstuff corner, I can help make someone’s burden lighter.

To me that's the best way to keep going, not necessarily with grand achievements, but with very good values, values that shine through even the most ordinary moments. At the end, the applause and recognition aren't what would define me, but the willingness to care, to give, to show up, and to keep doing even when no one is watching. Thinking of those things at my down moments does give me the strength to keep going. I can't stop; I can't give up.

I see a guy in the kitchen, learning to endure; I see a guy responding to anonymous and helping in silence; I see a guy helping in the little way he could while learning to love. I want to remain strong enough to face whatever life brings my way and gentle enough to keep serving, caring, helping, and doing for others along the way.

All pictures are mine, second and third pictures are a screenshot of my WhatsApp status.

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