LOH CONTEST #250 - Choosing Peace

Seeing this week’s Ladiesofhive prompts got me thinking about how complicated forgiveness really is. It sounds like such a beautiful and easy concept, it’s seen as something noble and freeing. But when you’ve been on the receiving end of real hurt, forgiveness isn’t just a pretty word; it becomes somewhat like a struggle.

I’ve seen firsthand what unforgiveness can do to a person. It’s not just about holding a grudge but about carrying something heavy in your chest day after day. I’ve seen it make people bitter, hard to be around, the way they tense up when the person’s name is mentioned, how their mood change, and even physically drained. And I can’t lie, I’ve been there too. But I ask myself… why bother? Why choose to walk around with that kind of weight when peace of mind is an option? Why would I need to keep avoiding someone, changing my path just so I don’t see them and replaying old hurt in my head like a song I don’t even like? It’s tiring.

I have started to see forgiveness as not “letting the other person off the hook” but as freeing myself. The Bible tells us to forgive, not just once but on many occasions. Until just recently, I thought that was unfair, especially if the other person didn’t deserve forgiveness. I now understand that it is less about granting them peace and more about keeping my own.

I forgive someone; but that does not mean I forget what happened or act like that person’s actions did not hurt me, I also do not have to let that person back into my life the same way. I simply choose not to let their actions affect me. With all of that said, I do not think there is a need for forgiveness immediately. Some wounds are very deep, and it may take time to heal from the pains of another’s action. I don’t say rush it. For me, it’s about going at a speed that feels appropriate to you.

I have told myself a lot of times that I would not ever forgive nor talk to a certain person again. But then, I’m not one to keep grudges. Honestly, I don’t even have the strength to keep malice with anyone, I value my peace of mind that much and I'm too lazy for that. And personally, I think everyone deserves forgiveness. Same way, I have offended others and thought they would never want to talk to me again. But we are all humans, in one way or the other, we have offended someone, we have done something that doesn’t deserve someone’s forgiveness, not matter how small.

Forgiving someone does not mean that you forget or completely accept them back, you can forgive someone and still enforce boundaries. You can release resentment and still decide that person no longer have a seat at your table. That’s not being bitter but being wise. When I finally forgive, it’s usually after I’ve come to a point in which it feels easier to let go than continue to hold on. We don’t have to forgive immediately but we should always see forgiveness as an option. I’ve learned that when forgiveness does come, it is truly a gift for myself. And it’s all worth it for the peace that follows.

Thanks for reading.
Image is mine