Midlife Crisis and Changing Lanes: Part 1 - Back to Basics and Back to School

I always expected my midlife crisis to involve more pole dancing and learning how to ride a motorbike, but it turns out I've decided to go back to school! I've been plotting this for a while, as you'll see by the date of the email in this image (thank god you can't see how many tabs I have open) that I've been procrastinating.

It's been tough to get my head around and actually commit to it though. I think I've really battled with the idea of working from home and being my own boss, as well as diving into the freelance world for the first time in my life. Do I really have what it takes to make this work? Well, I've been starting and stopping the whole year through, in between retrenchments, mental and physical illness, family deaths, and legal battles. It took this last God Awful job to realize that I just can't do it anymore. The traditional work model is just impossible to support with my current (and for the foreseeable future, permanent) physical condition.

Yes, I have a lot to be grateful and I am in a much better position than many people with disabilities, but the limitations are there. And for the 1st time in my life, I'm loving and respecting myself to listen to my body and do what it takes so I can still hold up my end of the finances, without killing myself or committing to work I can't handle.

I've had enough of shitty bosses. I have joked in previous blogs that my ideal career should be like one of those sniffer dogs, but my major task would be to sniff out horrible bosses because good lord am I fantastic at finding them. But this would mean studying HR and teaming up with labor lawyers and oh my god am I not ok with being sneaky like that? I mean it's tempting to be the vigilante superhero for mistreated staff, but that sounds exhausting.

I've been looking very deeply and closely at what I'm really naturally good at, and one thing is for sure: I have always had a passion for writing. My grade 7 English teacher, Mr. Colin Duell, was responsible for that. I mean, I loved creative writing and comprehension tests and essay writing long before that, but Mr. Duell did something amazing for us by teaching us university-level English and sentence structure at such an early age, which gave all of us such a massive advantage in high school. Even though I dropped out and missed three years, I still managed, with what I retained from his classes, to score 69 % for my matric final English exams, which is an absolute miracle, considering I did that on higher grade, through correspondence and with a full-time job (never mind the man child I was living with at the time who also made me his full-time chef, cook and bottlewasher).

@lex-zaiya and @zakludick recommended I follow in Lex's footsteps and start writing online for the Urban Writers.

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Some other very special friends of mine who run an extremely successful boutique online marketing company called VR Squared.com inspired me immeasurably by showing me how they all escaped the rat race and created their own lane and absolutely smashed everyone's expectations, building a successful empire and growing more every day, both personally and professionally. I'm honored to have them in my life. What is even more phenomenal about these brilliant people is their commitment to giving back and uplifting those around them. They were kind enough to put me through a few of their courses (as a guinea pig), most importantly, an SEO course, which is probably where I am going to focus most of my attention on going forward.

The support of friends and hints from the universe have finally started to reach my brain and I've decided to stop swimming against the current and do what I know I'll be good at and will also bring me vocational joy as well as pay the bills.

It really has meant going right back to basics though and unlearning British English and trying to reprogram my brain to write in American English (you'll probably notice in my blogs I'm very inconsistent with this as my brain is programmed for British English, but Grammarly is set to American English). It's meant learning new tricks, understanding ebooks, investigating narration, learning about correct referencing and citation in non-fiction articles and so much more.

Some of it has been mind-numbing, but really, and honestly, most of it has just got me excited. And my 1st trial order (my entry exam) is a historical biography, which is right up my alley!

I am almost through it all, and after filling two books like this and buying myself some very special stationery (because that's totally necessary hey) I think I'm just about ready to dive in and start the trial.

I'm just going to do my utmost to power through the imposter syndrome and seize this wonderful opportunity.

Next stop? Perhaps I'll make loads of money and finally be able to make use of that university endorsement I received for my matric results after all and study psychology, just like I always promised myself I would.

Wish me luck for this new and exciting chapter in my life <3