Marriage Fever Should Not Exist
Marriage is an interesting concept that has outlived the first generation of humans and continues to exist in our own time. It is a partnership that has found favour in the eyes of many, as almost everyone dreams of getting married someday. However, the unfortunate part of marriage is how much it has evolved to shape people’s perspectives, determining their perceived worth and affecting their self esteem.
Personally, I believe marriage is a beautiful tool for companionship. In the right marriage, you will find love, friendship, peace, and unwavering support for the rest of your life. These benefits have always formed my core understanding of marriage. I also believe that one can experience most of these things without getting married, which then makes me question the intense marriage fever many people have today.
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Over time, I have watched distant friends, relatives, and neighbours obsess over marriage, and I think that obsession is the first mistake many people make before finding their life partner. It begins with the belief that marriage is a necessity and that without it, one is incomplete. This mindset pushes people to do everything possible to get married, even when they're not ready for the journey. For women especially, it becomes more demanding as they begin to feel pressured to appear humble enough, attractive enough, or worthy enough to be chosen as a wife.
Sometimes, I do not entirely blame them because the pressure often comes from society. Before you turn 30, your parents and relatives would make it a habit to start asking when you will bring a spouse home. If they are not asking, they are praying loudly at midnight on your behalf, setting you up with family friends, or reminding you that they want grandchildren. It is exhausting and unnecessary because adults know when they are ready for marriage, and no one should make it their responsibility to constantly remind them about it.
I have never experienced marriage fever at any point in my life. I live my life in such a way that whether I end up married or not, nothing would weigh me down or affect the self esteem I have worked so hard to build. I also feel genuinely happy for my friends when they find someone to do life with, because a healthy marriage is a beautiful thing. But I am also aware of my priorities and desires, and I understand that my journey is different from the next person's. For now, I am comfortable being single, pursuing my dreams, with the possibility that I will one day meet my life partner.
To conclude, I do not encourage marriage fever in any form. It is an unhelpful mindset that ties your self worth to your marital status. It gives people the audacity to question your value and decide whether or not to accord some respect to you. It also creates anxiety and sleepless nights you never asked for. So, when you understand that life moves in stages, you begin to realize that the thousands of people getting married each year are simply on their own paths, and their journeys do not define yours. The best thing you can do is remain happy for others, stay content with your own journey, and let go of marriage fever while trusting that your own marriage will happen in its own time, if that is what you desire.
This blogpost is a response to this week’s SciFi Multiverse Prompt, Edition 2, where we're asked to share our thoughts on Marriage Fever. If you'd like to write with us, you can learn more Here.
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I enjoyed reading you post yechee. 💯
You were articulate with your words.
Parents and society often pressure young ladies to get married but forget that life isn't a race and your value isn't tied to how quick you find a spouse.
Thank you for these kind words, Ola. I appreciate them. Well, I do hope more people, including men, begin to ignore the pressure from society and focus on what truly matters at whatever stage of life they're in.
You're welcome
Yeah, actually.
We should ignore the pressure from society and focus of what matters. 👌🏼
It's good that you don't give up because of what others say, and that you live with everything you're building and with what makes you happy.
!HUESO
I guess so. Thank you.
Well put, I've heard of stories where once the marriage happens and the fever dissappears, people get back to their senses or rather get hit with the reality of marriage and realize this is what they didn't expect at all lol. I've experienced the fever myself but it's not outside my practical self to see things properly, I guess both tend to co-exist for me, especially on certain periods of time.
My experience is quite the same, with the difference of sight. I've seen the sore realization happen after the hasty decision, and it's one of the reasons I'll always avoid romanticizing it. I'm glad the fever you've had, too, wasn't one that stopped you from weighing the pros against the cons, and I hope it remains that way. Hugs.🫂
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Thank you so much!🤗
II believe one need to be mature financially and emotionally to consider having a home. No lies there are pressure but then we need to understand what it takes to build a home or go into marriage
I totally agree with you. It's just sad that people don't think deeply about these before falling for the marriage fever. I hope the younger ones learn to do better.
I hope so too
Marriage isn't for everyone; some even fear it. It's a big decision that must be made when it's presented as a proposal. Building a home involves a lot But these are stages we go through in life You just have to think carefully about what you really want.
Apt! You are absolutely correct, and I wish more people understood this.
I find marriage like finances, do your own research.
Hint: The best way to se how he will treat you in marriage is to carefully observe and question how his father treats his mother.
!LADY
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Marriage is just dynamic. I have seen a father who treats the wife with dignity and respect, and still lives with the wife, but some of their sons aint treating their wives well. During the discussion, they will boldly tell you that they can't take instructions from a woman. They are just the opposite of their father.
Honestly, is not a do-or-die affair; it is worthy to note that it is the kind of commitment that we put in it that we reap. Just like the popular saying, "as we make our bed, so we will lie on it". If we do our homework very well during preparations for marriage, we lay a good foundation on which we can build. But when the reverse is the case, and we build on a shaky foundation, the result might be bad. I wish us well in every path we have chosen in life.