Reasons behind the silence.

We make some wrong judgments about people because we are not in their shoes, and the minute we realize the truth about the grudges we hold with them, it might be too late to amend our broken relationships.

I hate to jump to conclusions about why a friend or family member changed towards me after they experienced a huge growth in their lives because most times, we make the wrong conclusion but won't accept that we are wrong since we didn't see the possibility of that relationship falling apart unexpectedly. We are too attached, and it's annoying to see someone you are close to become a stranger because they have moved ahead of you in life.

It can happen for reasons other than our thoughts, but we don't bring ourselves to see it. I have a friend who graduated from school before me, and she traveled out of the country when I was in my third year at the university. We were very close, but since she moved abroad, the connection wasn't there anymore. She left my messages unattended for days, ignoring calls, and whenever she responds, it's always about being busy. I believe they were excuses, and she's met friends over there, so I don't matter anymore, but I was wrong.

I didn't let this conclusion push me to ignore her; I couldn't do that easily and would reach out to her whenever I felt like doing so. Recently, she called me, and we were on the phone for over thirty minutes. I was so surprised and had to ask why she had been ignoring me all this time.

According to her, she took a course immediately after she got there and was shuffling between jobs to pay bills. She doesn't get enough time to rest and can't keep up communicating with the people she left here due to the time difference, but after completing the course, things changed because she got a stable job.

Growth comes with some things we will never be prepared for, and until someone creates a balance, we might not experience that side of them that we used to know. Even though I understand this very well, some people don't, and I can't force them to see things from my perspective.

A similar experience happened when I went for my NYSC; settling in a new place, and my teaching job took up my time. I barely used my phone because it was part of the school rules; teachers don't use phones during school hours except when important, so you can't expect me to spend time chatting when I am work. A few people misunderstood it, and they felt like I had already moved, ignoring them because they weren't opportuned to wear the uniform, but it's the opposite.

I don't conclude on why someone is ignoring me, so whether it's temporary or permanent, I don't let it affect me. People are expected to come and go in our lives; it should not change who we are or how we treat others.

In conclusion, people are going through so many things that they don't want to involve people, and the best you can do for them is to reach out instead of concluding that they've moved on. If we were in their shoes, we might even do worse than they are doing, so always keep it positive unless they clearly cut ties with you.