The girl they thought they knew.

When I think back to my school days, the funniest thing is how people had their own ideas about who they believed I was. Everyone had one assumption or the other, and most of them were completely wrong. It’s funny how people can watch you from a distance and conclude they already know your whole personality.

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For example, many people thought I was a quiet and gentle person. And honestly, I never argued with them. In class, I wasn’t the type to talk too much. I had only a few close friends, and if you weren’t part of that circle, you would definitely think I hardly said anything. My face was usually calm, and I rarely involved myself in unnecessary conversations. So people just believed, “That girl is gentle.”

But my friends knew the truth.

One day, at the little charging spot we used to go to, my classmate owned the place, we were all sitting down, talking, and laughing. Somehow the conversation entered the topic of personalities, and someone said, Among all of you, it’s only Toluwani that is quiet. She’s just so gentle. Before I even reacted, my friends shouted immediately, “Who?? Toluwani? Gentle where?” Everybody laughed. I just smiled because they didn’t lie. If you know me well, you already know I’m not close to quiet.

Even at home, anytime someone tries to call me gentle, my younger sister will jump in straightaway and expose me. She’ll say, “Please don’t mind her, this one is not gentle o!” And she’s right. I’m only gentle outside. Once I am with people I’m comfortable with, you will hear my voice more than anyone’s. I crack jokes, laugh loudly, and sometimes I’m even the troublemaker of the group. But strangers will never guess.

Another thing people assumed about me was that I was rich. This one still makes me laugh because it was the biggest misunderstanding of all. The truth is that I just don’t like shouting that I’m broke. I mind my business, dress neat, and don’t like borrowing or disturbing anyone. So people automatically believed I had money.

Sometimes my friends would even come and borrow money from me. And the funniest part is that I would borrow them from the little I had. That period, I was collecting online contribution, so some classmates used to send me money to keep for them since they weren’t using it yet. Whenever someone asked for a loan, I would simply give them from that contribution money. In their mind, I had plenty of cash. Meanwhile, all of us were just managing the same struggle.

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Then there was the academic assumption. People believed I was naturally brilliant. And honestly, I wasn’t a dull student, but I wasn’t the best either before higher institution. When I got admitted, I told myself that I didn’t want to continue being average. So I attended tutorials consistently, and pushed myself a lot.

Gradually, it started showing. I became one of the upper students in my class. Even among my friends, I was the most academically sound. There was one lecturer who used to call out the names of the top scorers in his course. Anytime he mentioned names, my own must be there. People assumed I was naturally gifted, but they didn’t know how much effort I put in behind the scenes.

Looking back, I’ve realized something: people will always think they know you based on the little they see. They don’t see your real personality, your private struggles, the effort you put into things, or the side of you that only your close people know. And honestly, it’s not their fault.

I am inviting @precious-la @grace-p and @tope