Of meals and Silence

Every family has a style, peculiar to aspects of their daily life. Eating at table, to some families is one great way to foster connection. To them, the table isn't just for eating. It's a place to share memories and laughter. A place for moments that matter. The thoughtful Daily Post has a knack for asking thoughtful questions. Questions that have you reflecting on aspects of your life you never really reflected on and for this week, they ask -

Families of the not-too-distant past usually always sat down at the diner table and had conversations while they ate. Is this a tradition that you and/or your family follow? Let us know how you keep the thoughtfulness alive in your world!

When I was younger, I attended family gatherings often. At those family gatherings, meal times were usually the best times to reminisce about the past, and offer details of people's lives the others had missed out on. There, everyone young and old, as long as you were around, ate in the same space. The adults would have a part of the table to themselves, and the kids would have a tray of food in another side on the other side of the table. While eating, the adults would relive experiences and laugh heartily. We, the children didn't really care about conversing during meals. Our focus was usually on the mischievous ones among us, whose main priority was to sneak more meats than was allocated to each person, into their mouths.

Eating with family members, and having conservations during the process is actually fun because as extroverted as I usually found it most times, I get to reconnect with cousins, hear details about uncles and aunts, relive fun memories, over sumptuous meals.

I remember one of my trips to my hometown, my parents weren't around so I and my brother were left in the care of our our aunt. She was surprised when we both brought out separate plates for our soups to be put in. After all, we were siblings. You might not understand this experience I narrated completely but here in Nigeria, we have these special meals we eat with our hands. And to some people, dipping hands in the same bowl of soup as a family, fosters connection. So, seeing I and my brother offering to eat separately was somewhat weird for her. But that's just how it's been. Eating separately suited us both just fine although my mom never allowed it.

Meal times in my family, are quite simple. Back then, when it was I, my sister and my brother, we ate at table, with my mom and talked about things that happened at school. But these days, dinner is mostly, always eaten with my mom. My dad travels a lot and so, when I get back from work, I find my mom waiting for me, so we both can eat (She dislikes eating alone). We both eat at table, watching TV and chipping in here and there. And then, because I'm usually too exhausted to have a conversation, I retire to bed almost immediately.

So, my response to the prompt for this week is quite simple. In my family, our actions at table vary from day to day, mood to mood, time and sometimes, lack of things to talk about. Somedays, conversations over meals flow so naturally. Some days, conversations over meals seem forced because suddenly we are reminded of how life was before the losses. On some, too exhausted to talk, we do that which we sat at table to do. Eat.

Thanks for reading.

Image is mine

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