Lost and Found

I once saw a guy about some Tantra.

Now I know what most of you are gonna think. And yes, I did want to practice some of the Sex Magic part. The conscious sex, I mean. And the utilizing of the energy part. That's some powerful stuff right there.

But what I really understood about Tantra, after that first meeting with the human I was possibly going to study with, is that the "way" of Tantra is really about following your curiosity. It's about letting go of "Self". Of social constructs. Of... hey hello here we go again... judgement... and about exploring, embracing and experiencing life as fully as possible.

Of course, some folks use it to just explore The Sex as they see fit. I've met plenty of folks with sex addiction gunning it in more than threesomes in the not very tantra sex circles in my once was hood. No judgement here ^{❤️ ✅}. Whatever blows your hair back as long as everybody involved is a consenting adult human.

But back to the Tantric "way". It speaks of open-mindedness, Curiosity and action (again as well - interesting, innit?).

I am happiest, most at peace and utterly content, these days, in silence and solitude. It's hard to come back from and I'm not entirely sure I even want to come back from it, or move further towards and into it. I half joke about becoming a nun (a monk, really, but whatever). It's tempting. I can understand the allure in full these days.

But...

I think too much of anything in a world full of such diversity and so many possibilities is prolly a waste of experience really.

And possibly a cop-out.

Or definitely a cop out after one experience I had in particular.

But I'm not going to go deep into anything right now. Or yet. Yes it was death-related. But I'm not interested in sharing it right now or dealing with the consequences and dynamics of this particular conversation yet. I'm still fuckin' tired!

But, as my granny used to encourage me to say each morning when I lived with her, "Everyday in every way I'm getting better and better."

What the fuck did Tantra have to do with any of this anyway?

Well...

to post or not to post?

That is the question.

I do not have the answer.

I've always figured out the answers by doing shit. By taking action I mean. Right now, I'm loving the silence and peace that solitude offers and the pace of life that comes with it. And the simplicity.

I think this is what I crave the most these days, after the experience of these last years. And always have, really. I no longer need external validation. I guess being ostracized and spending two years alone in the proverbial desert makes this possible. And I've never wanted to be a Rockstar either. Seems like a big responsibility and all. You'd have to be sure of your motivation for wanting all that fame in the first place, I reckon. Or lose yourself entirely by accident in all likelihood. It doesn't sound at all simple either.

Now I choose to wander alone in the proverbial desert for extended periods of time because I enjoy it. And the "enlightenment" it brings. Or clarity anyway. Which is all enlightenment really is at the end of the day, I guess. But (and I will share that experience with death one day) we are here to experience this thing we call "Life".

I've been getting back out into the physical world a bit more. I've needed that.

And I'm loving the change of perspective and experience!

To be or not to be.

Online, I mean.

That is the question.

There are a multitude of possible outcomes. Or nuances of experiences. I'm like that. I go through all of them. Repeatedly and over and over. I ponder and pontificate and imagine. I plan for every possible failure. Except you can't. And you'll never be able to. And, mostly, life will throw some random curveball at you that you never even imagined you might possibly maybe see coming. And what do you do then? Well...

you make a plan and keep on keeping on.

And you survive.

Because that's what you're built to do, you know.

And maybe you just need to trust yourself a bit more... ^{💥 👉 🐾}

Seen on some wonderings and wanderings today and taken for you.

If you haven't yet had the pleasure of hearing/reading this human's perspective I'd say it's well worth some time.

 

---

---

 

1. Practice non-judgement
2. Be impeccable with your word ^❤️

So the second suggestion, to not gossip about others ^specifically is a rather brilliant practice.

I mean... we all know that if a someone is talking shit about another someone their motivation is obviously skewed, right? Not rocket science. Again.

It's also just trashy, innit? Ugh...

Yet, somehow, in the society I used to inhabit more frequently this is actually considered "polite" conversation. I shit you not. It's about as common as bumping into a someone at a trance party and going through the same four questions, politely, because everyone is just too shit-faced to talk much more.

1. When did you arrive
2. Who did you come with?
3. Where are you camped?
4. Did you catch (add the name of a decent Dj who's set you'll never remember because you were too f*cked) so and so's set?

The end.

And when we meet each other socially outside of the party-on?

1. Avoid our own personal challenges/accountability and share everybody else's "stuff" so that we can avoid our own personal challenges/accountability.

This is why people gossip. Either this... or because they have some malicious intent. Or both. There are no other reasons to talk about anybody else's journey and experience.

But on a personal growth level ^{if you're into progress}, what this does is it enables us to avoid dealing with ourselves. Best to quit this behaviour asap. If not for personal growth and freedom then just because it's a shirty habit and totally unnecessary.

Again... shame and embarresment? That's a no-go, please.

Just bad programming and we all have it.

Working on undoing it...

_{Day 12 ^? of no cigarettes. ^😊 On we go!}

one day at a time.

p.s. Don't forget to meditate!

 

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
_{― Lao Tzu}

Eternal Seeker
Hardened Dreamer
Mother
Peaceful Warrior
Determined Dancer
and Stargazer

still...

Beyond fear is freedom

And there is nothing to be afraid of.

_{To Life, with Love... and always for Truth!
Nicky Dee}

_{www.mettame.art}

_{All images my own for this one. Original Aweh (meta Verse) illustration created with Photoshop. Original illustration used original source unknown. Gif created using Canva. All photo editing done with GIMP.}