Lost

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Okay. Let me begin with honesty. I have been busy and lost. But mostly lost. And when that happens, I do the one thing I know how to do best: be by myself.

For months, it’s been feeling like the world is running faster than my pace. I know I’m supposed to live at my own pace, but I’ve been feeling like I’m too slow. Too slow for my own liking because everything and everyone seems far ahead.

When I look around, it sounds like I’m the only one on this route and totally left behind. And sometimes, I blame myself because when I look at the path I’m threading, it feels like I wasted my years doing other things instead of being on that path. And it bothers me. It bothers me a lot.

I remember having this conversation some years back with someone in his forties, and I was told when I get to a certain age in life, I will be bothered by these things. And I laughed. I laughed because I’m not one to be bothered by such things. But life has a funny way of humbling us, huh?

I know the meaning of life is to give life a meaning. So all my years, I’ve been trying so hard to show up and keep up. I’ve been trying to make as many memories as I can. I even made beach visits a routine. I started going to the beach more often, as it is my favorite place in the whole world.

I started cooking a lot because it’s something that makes me feel like a free bird. I started reading, as I’m always fascinated by new things. I started doing a whole lot of things that I genuinely like for the nourishment of my soul. “Do what makes you feel alive, you know?” But it still feels different. It feels like they don’t even matter anymore because I’m far behind.

One thing I like to do is to live in the moment, but now living in the moment doesn’t feel like how it used to be. And sometimes, it feels like the world has totally stopped, not for me to live but for me to feel lost and left behind and be absolutely clueless of where everyone went.

Oh! And I don’t just feel lost. I also know I'm lost because everyone who knows me thinks I’ve not been myself. But I am myself. Just lost. And the sad part, I can’t seem to find anyone to help me find my way back to wherever I was because I don’t even know if I should.

Images are mine

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28 comments
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Thanks for sharing your experience with us!
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You have been manually curated by @wesphilbin on behalf of Inner Blocks:
a community encouraging first-hand content, and each individual living their best life.

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You aren't the only one who has felt lost sometimes. Even if living in-the-moment doesn't feel like it once did, it's still the best way to live. Don't compare yourself to others, and don't feel that they are "ahead" of any game. Everyone must live at their own pace, following their own heart and their own time for things to unfold. I am much older than that person in their forties who spoke to you, and I can tell you that you will reach a point where you are NOT bothered by such things. Just be true to yourself, take things as they come, and move at your own pace. Everything will fall into place. You are beautifully imperfect the way you are, and that is how it is meant to be. Just flow with it, just live. 💖

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(Edited)

So I just keep reading this over and over and I don’t know how but I feel so empowered to keep going.

I am much older than that person in their forties who spoke to you, and I can tell you that you will reach a point where you are NOT bothered by such things.

I really needed to hear this. Thank you, Kittygirl. Thank you!
💕💕

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@abenad...

Hello there, dear soul. As I read your post... looked at the beautiful photos... I smiled... Yeah, maybe not the response you might have thought of when you wrote Lost. The reason I smiled was that your words echoed those in my head. Some that were thought of, and never went away... But I am STILL HERE!! Remember, there are folks who truly care about you! I went chasing you around several Discord Servers, too! So here's some positive energy being sent your way. It's the weekend... go be awesome!!!


Wes...
TDPBlinkie-anim.gif

!LADY
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I saw the message on discord and I couldn’t just stop smiling. You have no idea how much what you did means to me. Thank you, Wes.

Yeah, maybe not the response you might have thought of when you wrote

Not at all but I felt happy to know it made you smile🥰.

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Oh, dear. It's okay to go at your own pace, no matter how fast or slow. I identified with what you wrote. I know what it's like to feel lost and try to find the answer to why you're not like everyone else. Or how they appear to be. And you know what? You don't need to be like anyone else. You're fine just the way you are, with your strengths and weaknesses. If life has taught me anything, it's that there's no point in wasting it trying to meet expectations, whether your own or those of others. You'll never be satisfied. However, when we go with the flow, giving ourselves over without seeking anything else, that's when we touch that fulfilment with our fingertips. Without going any further, your moments on the beach capturing these beautiful snapshots seem to me to be a haven of peace and well-being. Thank you for writing this, I hope it has had a therapeutic effect. I send you a big hug. ❤️

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I’m not even finding the right words for this comment right here.❤️❤️❤️
And yes, writing this post did have a therapeutic effect on me.

Thank you so much, Paloma🥰

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I don’t know what to say, but this has been my life lately and it scares me🥹🥹

Hang in there okay?🫂🫂

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@ibbtammy...

The same energy I sent to Abenad, I send to you... Don't think that you must fight these battles alone! Mind your servers, you are in... TAG... you are it!!
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I have been there, no lie. Good to get it out and see it though. You are appreciated.

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