The End of The Accidental Theory: For My Kids

So no.

My "good fight" isn't with anyone, really. And it's not with any particular philosophy or theory either.

It is (and always has been) only with myself. ^{unless someone is causing harm intentionally - see suggestions by great spiritual guides, please}

And so, these days, my only "good fight" is for "truth" and truth alone.

Both my truth and The Truth.

Because I am a (deeply) spiritual person and, also, because I didn't believe I was "diseased" or "disordered". Or born a "sinner" (The answer ^{for me} is Nurture. ^{for the psychology buffs})

And it did turn out ^{for me anyway}...

that the truth really did "set me free".
 

No. I'm not being "arrogant". ^{see paragraphs on "checking in", please}. I'm being direct because I've worked my ass off and done ^{a lot and there will be more... but mostly} my work on owning my shit, quite frankly. I'm happy despite being in far more challenging circumstances than a lot of people who should be happy, thanks.

I'm also bored as f*ck with this conversation, these days, and I want to learn to knit and make art. And make some money now. But I keep getting hurt accidentally by other people's "Shadow". So I'm sharing this in the hope that may happen less for everyone on the planet. Including you if you're hating me right now.

We must walk our individual truth in order to be able to "see "truth" clearly ^{know when to "fight the good fight"} so that maybe, just maybe...

we are able to take the "right" action to receive...

insert all the pros of practicing the great spiritual practices of the practice of your choice here/achieve authentic individuation/find permanent peace/get well/insert secular motivation here.

I believe if we do this we will be able to change ourselves and find lasting "liberation" from our individual struggles...

and, subsequently, also ^possibly change our world. ^❤️

_{Another disclaimer: Walking our truth is probably not possible all of the time for most of us anyway, but practice makes better.}

_{The Ultimate Personal Growth - Know Thyself first}

But back to philosophies and politics

 
Now...

I don't know how numbers work. This just isn't how my brain works very well.

My brain is, however, very good at remembering experiences and conversations. Very, very good at it. ^{not to blow my own horn, but actual humility is about honesty at the end of the day, right?}

I have my concerns about the 12 Step Program ^{spiritual bypassing, to be clear} but there is a lot of good shit, "they" suggest, that's an amalgamation of almost all of the popular "spiritual" practices out there. As well as some now popular "modern" therapeutic treatments. ^{DBT and CBT specifically.}

Yep. True story.

The 12 Step Program was developed off the back of Carl Jung's work. ^{Brave it if you are curious and brave enough 😉}

Bill W, after a conversation with a fellow alcoholic randomly met in a bar, created a program that would "walk" people into a "change in consciousness" of some kind. ^{Edited 6 July 2023 from "spiritual awakening".}

^{And it actually works! Bordering on genius, I tell ya. Up to a point... and no it is NOT a Christian program specifically. I wish they'd remove that particular word already.}

Carl Jung had told said fellow alcoholic's family ^{who'd sent the boy to Jung to be cured and who was... for a bit... until he relapsed}, that the only success he'd seen with recovery for addiction...

was a person having some kind of "shift in conscious".

He was deep into seeking and that spirituality stuff, old Jung.

And it does work, you know. The man was spot on. Again.

But only authentic practice. Words really mean little with this stuff. In fact... they can be used to get away with an inordinate amount of "evil".

^{The definition of which, I use, is the intention to do harm. We all fck up. All of the time. This does not make us "bad" people. This makes us only human.}

Using religion/I'm spiritual but not religious or any practice, however, to justify, avoid or deny the tough stuff...

only keeps a person "stuck" forever.

And allows "evil" to prevail.
 

^{In my personal experience and the concern I mentioned earlier}

If you want to recover permanently, or to be happy and joyful despite walking in "reality", in full...

the only way out I've found ^{and I've tried a lot of stuff!}...

is by walking "truth" in full.

It's an interesting story. How this all happened. And I wouldn't have found this solution for myself if life ^{or the gods and goddesses / universe / God / Jehova / Allah / Krishna / Gotama... insert you word, word, word of choice, please} hadn't intervened and shit hadn't gotten weird.

Although... looking back... this whole experience really began with me simply speaking my truth.
 

Truth encompasses an entire reality / situation. So blurting out your truth without the "right" motivation - insert golden rule - is not suggested. Nor is it suggested if speaking your truth places you or others in danger.

 
But we were talking about finding some kind of "truth"...

Here's how I've learned to find more truth in any given situation. It's usually best to illustrate things with an example, I reckon.

So here we go...

How to (maybe) find more truth

 
_{Yet another Disclaimer: You may find this difficult, or impossible, if you have not had tea with your Shadow, yet.}
 
A conversation ensues about a situation that a whole bunch of folks aren't happy about.

Someone drops a comment like:
 

I'm not really comfortable if innocent people are being treated like numbers and are being hurt. It doesn't fit with the way I walk in the world.

Here are some numbers for you anyway

 
a. Everybody who engages with this conversation is human ^{Possibly 100% correct if aliens aren't among us and there are no Lizard People walking the earth...we can not know for sure. Truthfully.}
 
b. Human beings are, bottom line, motivated by an instinctual drive to survive

^{Amygdala, "reptile brain" and the Fight / Flight Stress Response - debatable since "science" changes according to often public consensus. And politics. See Galileo. And the laws of physics themselves are currently evolving as I write this. See primary Disclaimer above. And Galileo. Again.}

 
c. 100% ^probably of participants are, thus, ^{unless there is a "Sage" or see point a among us and if there is please raise your hand because I'd respectfully ask you to mentor me, please} only human and their engagement is, thus, personally motivated.
 
d. The only way one can ^possibly "see" truth ^{or some semblance of it because all this "Shadow" stuff is very, very 😉 complicated!}, is by ignoring what is being said. And focusing entirely on actions.
 
As an individual, I now do the following...

I assume that nobody is intentionally consciously running around causing harm to others.

_{Another disclaimer: Some people do do this consciously because they get a kick out of it. But these people are also brilliant with words, words, words and manipulation, so see point d above, please.}

I remove my personal judgement. ^{difficult, again, unless one has had a cuppa or ongoing cuppas with their "Shadow"}

If I'm:
 

angry/hurt/annoyed/irritated/enamoured/cockstruck ^😆... I know this is my Shadow at work and I step back. Step 1.

I assume that nobody is completely "right" or "wrong" in the situation because this is ^probably not possible with human nature and the psyche as they are.

The only thing I focus on, these days, is action.

And then I try to see what the underlying motivation is for that action.

Because we are all "right" about some things (at times) and we are all "wrong" about some things (at times).

Sometimes at the same time!

I don't care, these days, what people say. All I observe is who is accountable in the situation and...

who isn't accountable.

This gives me more than enough information to know whose "motivation" is "good". You add accountability on top of "right" action ^{all listed in the big books of spirituality so it's not that complicated} and hey ho... please can I be friends with you?

Because the person who acknowledges an only human error is chatting to their Shadow and will always change the behaviour that didn't work out for them / that accidentally hurt those around them.

But the folks that don't own their stuff?

Those guys and gals whose words don't align with their actions?

These folks I keep at a respectful distance because they can be dangerous. I mean... we can only change harmful behaviour if we acknowledge it, right? So until then... I keep a respectful distance.

These days.

Because until such time, they are:

i) either still at the mercy of their own Shadow and will make tons of possibly harmful mistakes ^{that inevitably impact the lives around them too}
ii) or are consciously manipulating the situation
iii) or are higher on the scale towards sociopathic. ^{a combination of both ii and iii = "Run Forest, run!" - Pretty blonde gal in Forest Gump}

In short:

I don't really mind who is right or wrong, these days. I support the people who are "fighting the good fight".

Because these people are the ones who, despite being very only human, are walking their truth. And who adjust their truth when they understand more at times!

And, since we are talking about numbers here...

they are currently very, very rare to find indeed.

I try to stay close to them when I find them, these days.

^{Pippins and Nuggets, I call us. But that's another story...}

Try to observe the actions/reactions of those involved in the situation. And then look for the motivation behind those actions/reactions. Don't judge the actions/reactions or it may will probably be your Shadow talking rubbish to you. Only observe, please.

_{Detachment is a superpower, by the way. On the search for Truth.}

Motivation.

There is where you ^may find some actual "Truth".

And this can be applied to your own personal growth quite brilliantly as well, by the way. In fact... I'd suggest we all start there if we do really care about making things better.

For everyone.

The Accidental Theory

 
Because of my own journey, and being forced to walk "truth" despite ^{and because of 😉} my Shadow and pervading fears, I've come to agree strongly with Carl Jung's Hypothesis.

It has, for me personally, become a Theory now.

Everything we believe is only ^{according to our own very clever definition of these words, words, words} a Hypothesis until it is proven with research and results.

 
And because it was suggested by some fellow travelers, some years ago, to "keep things simple"...

I've found there really is only one "enemy", for me personally, to take on in my only one good fight for truth.

Fear.

By being pushed to "see" my own fears, and to have had to walk through them and make friends with them, I've found total peace and joy, despite anything that may happen in my external environment.

From being diagnosed with reactions that were so powerful I was diagnosed with possible "Schizophrenia" or maybe "BiPolar Disorder" ...

to an addiction problem that was so severe I was taking meetings online at 10am with a glass of whisky on my desk next to me.

No reply. Went into treatment - no diagnosis. ^{no surprise}

"They" say ^{and, again, I'm not sure who "they" actually are but "they" have some pretty great sayings!"...}

"And the Truth shall set you Free."

Well, I've tried it.

It works.

But only if you walk it in action.

If you do...

"miracles" really do happen.

And "Anything is possible". ^{Neo - The Matrix}

_{He sure was clever Mr Jung, huh? Wow!}

Freud and Jung - The Untold Story: Warning: Sex stuff ^gasp!🤓

The end...

_{Of the Accidental Theory: A true story of a journey to freedom.
Also known as "the book that may never be written..."}

_{Late for a #weekendexperiences prompt by @galenkp on truth. Sorry, dude... the long and winding road and I'm still on it forever so...}

Original post for the prompt

 
Your prompt just wrote the end of "The Book That May Never Be Written". Otherwise known as "The Accidental Theory".

Accidentally. Of course.

It's the "truth", you see.

This is what "truth" does. It creates connectivity and connections. It pushes us forward to new understanding. It helps us see things more clearly.

It creates "magic".

I read here that you are grieving right now.

My condolences to you and your family for your loss. I don't think there really are words that can ease things in these circumstances so will leave this at that. It's not enough anyway. The words. I know this. This is "true".

Grieving is a very "grounding" process and, I think, when we are most comfortable to be only human. And, because we are more honest during such times, is also when we grow in many ways.

I was going to write the post, for the end of the book, for this prompt but do not want to burden you with additional admin right now. So I'll write it when it's "right". And just link back to it to credit you for the inspiration then. I'm also tired and will let things unfold authentically.

And then I decided to write the post from the comment because in the moment and who knows what tomorrow brings?

As @galenkp so correctly says:

"tomorrow isn't promised"

One life.

Live it!

Authentically and to the max. To experience it as you are.

Or what's the point, really, I wonder...

of a life spent hiding and pretending?

Doing it or not - been there, done that but thought it was encouraged in that particular circle and had been agreed on by all parties (another part of the story) - if I thought it was under normal circumstances no. I like to feel okay with the person I have to get up with each day. No short bit of any kind of high is more valuable than that to me. Now.

Keeping secrets - "secrets make you sick". The End. And if someone asks you to keep a secret in the first place there is something not okay about it. If it can't be aired publicly then it shouldn't be said.

Confront, report or ignore - report. But give the opportunity to the person who stole it to come clean first. Done and dusted and they did. Enabling someone because I fear the consequences of speaking the truth will hurt both of us. It is not compassionate to allow someone to endanger themselves. And it is not compassionate to myself either to avoid situations because I am afraid. Not much personal growth or learning then at all.

Honesty or not - take it back. Done and dusted repeatedly. Liking myself - see point one. And I wouldn't fully enjoy anything that was tainted with guilt anyway.

They say, in the 12 Step Program (which I no longer follow much, but which has some GREAT advice for walking in this world peacefully)..

"Keep it simple".

I wish I'd actually just done this properly and to the best of my abilities throughout my life. I would've saved myself years of bad decisions, and fucking bad times, because of my own fear.

The small not so truths only hide the even bigger ones, you see.

The ones we really need to accept to, really, be "free".

Things are either "true" or "not true" at any given moment.

Yes, the truth can change according to understanding. And does. But only if we walk it in action and see the outcome. If we don't, anything is just a dream and a wandering.

What I've experienced, in life, is that if I do what seems "right" or "true" at any given moment... I can't possibly go "wrong".

Even if shit unfolds that is awful for a while... it has, ultimately, led to what I now believe to be the "enlightenment" I was "seeking" for so many years. Today, I'm able to walk in this world with less fear than I ever thought possible.

I am "FREE".

There are no "grey" areas with this kind of "seeking". But that's just my story :) And now you know the end of it.

Thank you, @galenkp, for your "moment of truth"! And warmth during cold times, from a chilly Southern Hemisphere. 🌷

To Life, with Love... and always for Truth!

Nicky ^❤️

_{Three Tunes for #ThreeTunesTuesday, by the daddy of keeping the tunes rolling... @ablaze... because who knows what happens next, I may miss it again and because these tunes...^sigh Be bold enough to be curious enough to find, and speak (!) your truth. It really will "set you free".}

Moving on because the journey continues and Now is where I need to be to LIVE IT!
 

But I had to go all the way back to move past through it to get here today

 
I'm gonna make some cool stuff and live a liddle Now. Keep on keeping on. Recovery is possible. No matter what "the experts" tell you. Trust yourself! But you can only do that when you know yourself! ^{so invite your Shadow over for tea 😊}
 

 
_{'scuse typos. I'm so excited to move forward from all of this and focus on creating now. Also... I'm not perfect anyway. And that's okay with me as well. Now.}

_{Bonus track because music!}
 

You can find out more about the perspective and approach I used to recover here.